Category: Resistence

What are you waiting for?!

By , March 20, 2013 7:01 pm

iStock_000015337955Small“How much of human life is lost in waiting”.

—Ralph Waldo Emerson, Lecturer and Poet

What are you waiting for just now?

  • The perfect client to walk through the door
  • That promotion I was promised
  • The right person to come into my life
  • The right time to leave my current job
  • For someone to notice the great work I’m doing
  • One more course or workshop that will teach me how to be a ……….

…These are just a few examples.

When you think about it we are ALL waiting for something…

I remember walking Belle the black labrador with my Dad on the beach at Alborough as if it were only yesterday (The reality is it was probably 25 years ago!).

We’d often talk about the children stories he was writing and how all the characters (The Camblesforth Bunnies) were getting into mischief! He talked about how One day he’d publish these books. One day he’d find out what needed to be done. One day he’d share them with the world.

My Dad was in a waiting room that lasted the rest of his lifetime.

These stories are still in a folder waiting…

He’d written and illustrated a series of short stories. One day as we were walking he told me that he was waiting for the right person to come along to give him the nudge and make things happen.

That person never showed up.

Sometimes the person you’re waiting isn’t going to show (they might not even exist) because the only person you are really waiting for is YOU.

I was coaching an executive this week whose long-term dream was possibly coming true: Her boss had been preparing her to step into his shoes. Suddenly he had decided to leave. This was the director’s role she’d always wanted. She now needed to step out and demonstrate that she was ready to secure the  secondment as a director. It was everything she’s been working towards.

You’d think she’d be excited and buzzing…

Now, she faced her own resistance of self worth and self-doubt and her confidence dipped. As the fear of stepping up became real, she started to push the role away…

Sometimes we create a false ceiling to hold us back because we just might actually pull it off! Fear kicks in and we create limiting beliefs that get in our own way of success. Gay Hendricks in his book called the Big Leap – calls this an Upper Limit Problem. We sabotage our own success because of our discomfort of a hidden fear inside that wants to keep up playing small. Our Lizard Brain is working overtime to protect us!  This is the last obstacle between you and success.

I believe that my Dad had an upper limit problem with his books. He’d got so far, then he got scared. The fear was enough for him to put the idea a side and allow himself to be distracted by something else.

What are you waiting for just now?

What would it be like if you decided to stop waiting and take a step towards what you want to create or have in your life?

I see opportunities as grains of sand in an hourglass… The hourglass turned when you were born and the grains of sand are falling through and slipping away.

Life is short and it’s easy to put things off because we believe that we have all the time in the world and we can come back to it and do it later.

…All you have is NOW… Now is where you can make things happen.

Here are a few questions to ask yourself:

  1. What are you waiting for just now?
  2. Why are you waiting?
  3. What is holding you back (is it real or perceived)?
  4. What would it be like if you decided to stop waiting and take a step towards what you want to to achieve in your life?
  5. What is the very first step you could take today?

You can choose to leave your waiting room – Reach through your fear to find the courage to take your very next step.

Remember… Courage is ALWAYS waiting at the other side of fear.

Don’t waste your life waiting…

Take a moment to think about this today…

 

 

5 Reasons WHY You Can’t Get Things Done…(…And how to deal with them!)

By , March 13, 2013 3:36 pm

iStock_000012995878SmallThe No. 1 common challenge for many of my coaching clients is the problem of getting things done!

Most of us have been on numerous time management workshops and read books on the subject. We know what we should do, but we still can’t seem to apply the strategy consistently.

Having the tools, processes or strategy is one thing…Setting your thinking and programming your inner dialogue for success is another!

Here are the top five reasons for not getting things done that I’ve experienced when coaching and training my clients (Oh! And I’ve observed a few of them in myself too!):

Overcomplicating things – It’s easy to become overwhelmed and create a complex strategy for something that is relatively simple. If you have too much to remember: doing this, not doing that and worrying about the other, then you become anxious and worn out and nothing gets done. You’ll look for other distractions.

You keep a complex plan in your head – You add to the problem by trying to keep a complex plan in your head. Relying on your brain as a storage device to remember EVERYTHING doesn’t work! Have you ever thought you’d remember stuff, then when you’ve gone back to it later, you can’t remember the detail and have to start all over again?

“I’m just not very organized…” This label is an excuse to give you permission to stay stuck. The reality is that you are VERY organized at being UNORGANIZED: You are following entrenched old habits and patterns. They just take you to a negative outcome. You’re just organizing the wrong things! See the pattern here? You may feel out of control, perhaps your emotions have taken over.

Quality of your inner dialogue – If I say to you: ‘Don’t think of the colour blue…’ What do you do first? You think of blue before you decide not to think about it! So if you’re saying to yourself: ‘I mustn’t forget to…’ you are programming yourself to forget! This is known as a bad command in NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) terms. If you repeat this to yourself, you are likely to forget! You are focusing on forgetting rather than remembering!

You are too busy to think about it – You are stuck in the ‘do-do’ of doing and don’t take time to think something through to decide how you might do it differently. You wallow in procrastination. Thinking seems too easy to do so you resist or you perceive that it’s not a valuable use of time.

Here are some potential solutions:

1. Clear out the mental clutter – You can over-plan and over-strategize. So step back and get rid of the clutter. You might have far too many steps in the process, or you’re going into too much detail.

  • Lighten the load by simplifying your process.
  • Place high value on simplicity!
  • Look for an easier route. You have to choose the right strategy for the situation.

2. Get out of your own way – Are you fighting with yourself, getting caught up in drama and creating feelings that are sabotaging your progress? Notice what is going on inside – write it down. You don’t have to put so much pressure on yourself.

  • Become organized at being organized!
  • What needs to change?
  • What would being organized look like for you?
  • Lose the label and dump the excuse of being unorganized.

You can do this!

3. Change your language – Listen to your inner dialogue. Are you giving yourself bad commands? Remember if you’re saying to yourself: ‘Don’t forget to call Jenny.’ You are actually saying: ‘Forget to call Jenny.’ You are more likely to forget! Change the quality of your inner dialogue by turning it around to something like: ‘I will remember to phone Jenny today.’ Give yourself commands in a positive way.

4. Make time to think it through – Allow thinking time! Use visualization as a tool to set your mind for success. See yourself making the call to Jenny:

  • What are you saying?
  • When are you calling her?
  • Walk this through in your mind several times.
  • Then take action straight away to make it happen.
  • Make a post-it note and keep it in sight so this call is your mental radar today.

You are re-training your brain to get things done. Simple strategies work well. Think simple!

5. Attitude changes everything – To change your thinking you need to change your perspective towards the situation. The situation IS the situation, it doesn’t change – you are wherever you are right now. If you know that this is something you should do, then change your attitude towards it. This is what is holding you back.

  • What would it be like to be in control or on top of this situation?
  • What are you doing?
  • What are you saying?
  • How are you acting?
  • How will you feel when you’ve completed it?
  • What difference will it make?

Having a coach can help take responsibility for getting things done.

Clear out the rubbish in your current strategies for getting things done, stop fighting yourself, listening to your negative inner dialogue, and getting lost in the mountain of steps in your process.

Simplicity is everything! Look for a more effortless path and don’t be so hard on yourself!

 

 

 

 

 

Seven Ways to Grow Through Uncertainty…

By , January 23, 2013 6:07 pm

“People who live their dreams have big, wide-open hearts and the rapier focus of a secret agent on a precarious mission. They do not sweat in the heat. They do not run because of a tabby cat’s shadow in the alley. They no longer fear disappointment or disruption. They meet uncertainty with certainty.”

 

~ Tama Kieves, Author, This Time I Dance!

I’m coaching several people who are going through big changes in their lives just now. As they continue to step forward and uplevel in the direction of their dreams they meet resistance, feel fear and sometimes progress is slow.

It’s times like this when your mind can work overtime inventing stories of how things won’t work out or predicting how you’re going to fail. The voices in your head fill your thoughts with insecurity and doubt.

Resistance can be a dream-killer, if you allow it to take hold and unleash its power. Insecurity and doubt enter through the cracks in our self-belief. We begin to question our intuition, as everything seems to go on red alert that this is the signal for the beginning of the end!

Uncertainty makes you feel vulnerable and uncomfortable.

You may have experienced times when no one wanted to hire you or your services, or you received negative feedback about the very thing you’re trying to create, or everyone seems to be forming an orderly queue, waiting in line to criticise you. It sometimes feels like everything external is against you!

It’s easy to succumb to the illusion that these external things have the power to steal your strength and resolve and make you weak.

But… only if you choose to let them!

If you want to be successful, you have to face these challenges head on and work through them. They are a natural part of stepping up and creating a bigger life.

I’ve learned to see uncertainty and resistance as internal growing pains, where you get to make defining decisions, call upon your will power, and seek extra support. They are opportunities for growth and you can succeed through them.

You are literally growing from the inside-out…

The truth is that every successful person will encounter obstacles, negative reactions and slow patches along their journey. The key thing is to know that it is happening for a reason:  growth.

Here are a few tips on how to grow through uncertainty and resistance:

Shake it off! I was queuing for airport security recently and a toddler was being grumpy and whiney. His Mum told him to stand still and ‘shake it off.’ The little boy did exactly that:  he stood still and shook his hands, feet and then his whole body, releasing all that negative energy and tension. He then gave his Mum a hug! This technique acted as a circuit breaker to shift his state of mind and change his behaviour. Shake off your negative thoughts. I’ve tried it – it works!

Awaken your clarity. Re-align with your intention/dream and re-connect to the reasons WHY you are doing what you are doing and how it will make you feel when you have achieved it. What difference will it make? Get clear and re-decide want you want.

Know that your intuition isn’t shot! When we perceive that things aren’t going well we stop trusting out intuition. Know that your intuition is working perfectly and have faith to tune back into it. Deep inside there is a knowing that all is well and that you are much more than your fear. Listen to your intuition – it is such a powerful source from within. Have faith and believe in yourself.

You are not alone. Sometimes you’ve done all you can to change a situation. The next step might be to face the fear and deal with it directly. You might get the help of a healer or coach to help you reach through to find your courage and restore your gritted determination to succeed. Remember, you are not alone.

Stop resisting and lean in. Sometimes it’s about being honest, open and leaning into the truth. Crying is a great energy release that frees and liberates our souls from those bottled up emotions. It’s a release value that can act as a catalyst for change. Honest feedback can increase your self-awareness and shift your perspective. Make space to allow for your growing pains. Have self-compassion.

Keep moving in the direction of your dream. Constantly reset your mind for success. Your thinking influences your success. Your energy and consistency is so important. Trust in the greater good and remember that things don’t always go to plan. We screw up and make mistakes sometimes. Continue with forward motion.

Keep perspective. One event has nothing to do with the rest of the breadth and depth of your life. It’s easy to string things together, make assumptions and imagine that the Universe is conspiring against you. This doesn’t empower you and you’ll get stuck in your story. Ask yourself, what are you trying to make this mean about you and your life? Keep things real and in perspective and put your energy to positive work.

You will emerge from uncertainty clearer, stronger and empowered. The cycle will continue and you may revisit the same pattern again in the future but from a higher level of experience as you continue to grow towards your dream.

Keep growing!

 

How to Handle Criticism to Change

By , September 26, 2012 12:55 pm

How to Handle Criticism to Change 

“Staying REAL is one of the most courageous battles that we’ll ever fight. When we choose to be our true selves, the people around us will struggle to make sense of how and why we are changing.” 

Brené Brown, writer and research professor.

 

Criticism is a natural part of life.

At some point someone is bound to criticise you because you’re stepping out and trying something new. As we grow, the people around us struggle to make sense of how and why we are changing and worry about the impact on them.

Criticism is different than feedback because it feels painful, raw and personal.

Ridicule hurts because it makes us feel embarrassed and uncomfortable. We question the original decision to step up and be different.

Arthur Schopenhauser, German Philosopher and Author, reminds us that all change goes through three steps:

  1. Ridicule
  2. Violent opposition
  3. Acceptance as self-evident

I’ve coached people through all three stages when they decide to show up bigger in their life.

Here’s a real example to demonstrate these stages:

Jenny started working with a coach to help her stop being a people-pleaser and sacrificing who she was for the sake of what other people thought.

She set boundaries and started saying no to things that no longer served her.

Her husband started to notice a difference…

 

 Ridicule

“Look at you! You’ve been talking to that coach of yours again haven’t you?”

 He made fun of what she was trying to do.

This ridicule could be enough for Jenny to give in and go back to how she used to be, just to keep her husband happy. Our natural instincts are to be socially accepted. It’s tempting to go back to how she used to be, even though the new way is far more authentic and real.

 

 Violent opposition

“I hate these damned coaching sessions! I don’t like what is happening to you. You’re different! The ‘old’ Jenny was much nicer than the ‘new one’. You are being selfish these days. This coach is brainwashing you – Have you joined some sort of cult?!”

 Her husband felt fearful and unsure about the change he was seeing. His life was much easier before. He was worried about how it would affect him and their relationship. She had held a mirror up to him and this made him feel uncomfortable. He felt threatened by the ‘new’ way.

Verbal aggression is cruel and painful and can stop us in our tracks. We question our judgment and ability to move forward and achieve our goal. Again, it’s easier to go back to the old way so the hurt will go away.

It’s easier to criticize someone when they are taking risks, being brave or speaking out, especially when they are doing it imperfectly because they are trying something new.

 

Acceptance as self-evident

“I’ve learned so much about our relationship and we’ve grown closer together. We understand each other at a deeper level.”

Over time the new way of doing things becomes the new normal. Jenny stayed true to herself remaining consistent in her approach, despite the opposition. She let go of trying to be everything to everyone else and was able to step up to become an equal partner in her relationship.

Most of us don’t naturally look inside ourselves to find the source of our discomfort and we tend to look externally for someone else to blame. We become cynical or critical in reaction to this difference and it is often shows up as sarcasm, ridicule or criticism of someone else’s attempt to try something new.

Criticism is often a reflection of the other person’s own discomfort to stay stuck in their comfort zone. They might be feeling jealous and envious of the other person’s decision to create some changes in their life.

Here are some tips for handling criticism:

1. Take personal responsibility for your thinking. Stay in your power and stand your ground. Step back and remind yourself that you don’t have to shrink so that others can feel comfortable around you. Choose to be courageous. Don’t let outside noise cause internal interference. Remember, we all have equal value, worth and dignity. No one is better, bigger or superior to anyone else. It’s just ego that makes it so. Focus on your truth and what is important for you. Have faith in your intuition and believe in YOU. Leave the emotional stuff behind as this energy will keep you blocked.

2. It’s NEVER about you – Criticism is always about the person who is delivering it. The source of the criticism is with the person making that criticism – You are not the source. Opinion is just information based from the other person’s map of the world and not from your map. As you step up to do things differently others will criticise you. It’s going to happen. It’s okay. Those who are closest to you may have stronger opinions. Opinions can be driven by the other person’s fear, envy or worry. These feelings from loved ones can feel very personal if we let them in.

3. Re-decide – remind yourself of your WHY and in the face of criticism, get clear again. Learn how to teach other people how to treat you. Make being authentic your number one goal. Stick with it and allow your courage to overcome any fear. Don’t let fear rule you and your decisions, just because somebody has challenged you. People WILL push up against you – especially when you’re doing something different. Make decisions from where YOU want to be. Learn to rescue yourself and step back in alignment with your vision every day.

4. Accept that everyone won’t like you – Some people will like you some won’t. We can’t please everyone all of the time.

5. Set a time limit – Allow yourself space to work through the pain and dis-comfort. Talk it through with someone you trust. Set a time limit to dwell on it then, reframe the situation, focus on what you’ve learned, remember that it’s NOT about you, and let it go.

 

Six ways to stop resistance kicking your butt…

By , April 14, 2012 5:25 pm

“Resistance is a repelling force. It’s negative. It’s aim is to shove us away, distract us, prevent us from doing our work.”

Steven Pressfield, Author

Resistance is a challenge for everyone from time to time.

I’ve helped my clients work through resistance when it has created self-doubt, procrastination, fear, low self-esteem and even self-sabotage in their business, projects or home life.

Resistance is a powerful nasty beasty!

I have been on the receiving end of it many times in my own life.

Resistance can kill your goals and dreams and destroy your confidence all at the same time.

It’s a powerful enemy within that feeds off your Lizard brain – that niggling voice in your head that says: “Do it tomorrow instead.” Or “Who do you think you are?!”  It turns positive momentum and hope into stone.

 

The truth is that EVERYONE has THAT voice in his or her head in the same way that everyone breathes. It’s natural and part of your human defenses. But that doesn’t mean it’s always right!

Resistance holds you back, throws you off course and won’t let go until it takes your ideas and goals and destroys them – you give up.

Perhaps you’ve started a business or you’re working on a project…

You get into a rhythm when good things are happening. You achieve momentum and everything flows. It’s like the Universe is pulling everything together and things are moving at a fast pace. There’s a quickening as things unfold for you.

…Then you hit the wall. Something happens or goes wrong. You lose confidence, despite being two-thirds through the project and the end was almost in sight. You’ve invested so much in time, energy and not to mention money, then it all feels like it’s slipping away from you.

Panic sets in as the tide turns, you feel out of control and can’t stop it. Your confidence drains away as the voice in your head returns to tell you that you’re not cut out for this and you’re the biggest loser in town.

Suddenly failure becomes an option and you’re scared. What was fun now feels very dark.

You can’t negotiate or reason with resistance because your inner Lizard is working overtime.

Resistance isn’t the end – though sometimes it can feel like it! Resistance is just testing your resolve. It’s part of the process. You can get through to the other side.

Here’s how:

1. Recognise your enemy – Resistance is self-created. It’s noisy and feels real but it’s not the big monster you might perceive it to be. Recognising this is extremely important.  YOU always have the power of free will. You can override your resistance at any time by taking conscious action. You get to choose whether you stay stuck or not.

2. Reconnect to your WHY – Your passion is like an antidote. It can de-solve any fear associated with your resistance. Reconnect to your passion and draw energy from it by answering the following two questions and use these as your touchstones as you’re working through:

WHY do I want to do this?

How badly do I want to succeed?

3. Remember it’s just part of the process Resistance is just part of the journey: First you have an idea – then you have resistance – then you create a system or process to work through it and take consistent action.

4. Get help Fight resistance with assistance! Help yourself by setting up a daily ritual or system that gets you into the habit of showing up and taking action. Create affirmations or goal cards and look at them regularly to visualize success. Sometimes it feels harder because you feel alone. Enlist help from others who have experienced what you’re experiencing now. They can guide you through.

5. Accept that things go wrong – You can’t always prepare for it but shit happens! Sometimes things don’t work. There’s a difference between quitting and feeling like quitting. Failure means that we have to grow – it’s all about learning. You’re compelled to figure it out. You are presented with the raw materials for your solution. Work the problem to create your solution.

6. Hang in there Completing is not for the faint hearted. Yes it takes hard work and stamina to finish. There might be many obstacles along the way. But all the hard work is for nothing if you don’t show up to finish. This sometimes requires extra energy and drive to see it through and it’s the most difficult bit – but it’s worth it! Sometimes you have to reach in for that extra bit of courage.

Resistance invisibly thrives when self-sabotage, self-doubt, low confidence, procrastination, and fear takes hold. The more important your call to action, the greater the sense of resistance you’ll feel. It’s a natural part of life. You can hide from it and hope it goes away, or consciously work through it.

You ALWAYS have a choice…

 

Why business meetings are painful, boring and unproductive…

By , March 28, 2012 6:27 pm

“Bad meetings, and what they indicate and provoke in an organization, generate real human suffering in the form of anger, lethargy, and cynicism. An while this certainly has a profound impact on organizational life, it also impacts people’s self-esteem, their families, and their outlook on life.”

 

~ Patrick Lencioni, Author

 

Have you ever attended one of these?

“I could get my work done, if I didn’t have to go to so many pointless meetings!” ~ John, a coaching client. He went on to summarise that most of the meetings he attended were unfocused, lethargic and boring, but a necessity of business life.

I can remember attending many meetings in my corporate life that were frustrating and pointless. Yet I was told that had to endure them because it was part of my job.

I remember a low point once where ‘Fun’ was listed as an agenda item and we were actually forced to ‘enjoy’ a team game as part of a meeting. Have you ever pretended to have fun? – It’s counter-productive. If you ever get to this stage you need to step back and explore WHY you’re contemplating this as an agenda item in the first place. It might be because of some of the reasons below…

Why are meetings so painful and unproductive?

…Because they are! – Acceptance that part of the process of doing business involves the tedium of attending meetings. You have to go through the ritual of attending to get the job done. Many people believe that meetings are bad in every company so it’s just the way it works in business. Brace yourself and just get on with it! We’ve got used to hating them!

Lack of ownership – Participants attend with the mindset that it’s something that is done to them rather than taking RESPONSIBILITY for the role they play and how to get the best outcomes. Mediocrity and complacency sets in. You show up because you feel you have to. You’re a silent observer and the meeting becomes passionless and dull.

Little or no leadership – Ineffective meetings happen because of the approach and attitude of the people leading them. The leader models and influences the attitude and approach of those attending. Sometimes it becomes a forum to exercise the ego of the highest ranking person in the room. The focus is lost as individuals drift off-piste to satisfy their own agenda or because they’re bored! Participants aren’t sure of their role: should I be debating? Discussing? Brainstorming? Or listening?

Boring – If you had nothing else to do with your time, I’m sure you wouldn’t want to spend it in a dry, tedious un-engaging meeting with some people that you might not even like that much! Sitting and listening for long periods of time to uninspiring content is monotonous. Every one moans that it’s boring – but no one does anything about it. It’s a ritual to attend every week. People are scared to give an opinion or challenge – so they sit like nodding dogs. Poor decisions are made as a consequence. Awkward situations are avoided by staying quiet, nodding where appropriate and writing your weekly shopping list!

No structure – The regular staff meeting is a classic example of this. Weekly? Monthly? Where everyone gets together for an unfocused random discussion about everything! There’s little clarity about topics and there’s no context for discussion. Individuals literally check out.

Pressure and anxiety – Most people have loads of other things to do. Attending a bad meeting only amplifies the anxiety and pain. Focus on the meeting is lost and you start thinking about how you could use this wasted time. If it’s a conference call – you’re probably multi-tasking doing your emails at the same time! You’re not used to sitting still and doing just one thing at a time so it’s easy to get distracted.

Recognise any of these?

Harvard Business School a few years ago claimed that over 50% of meetings are a waste of time…

Here’s the thing…

It’s possible to make meetings compelling, engaging, interactive and productive. It starts with changing the mindset of those attending and involves a little re-thinking on how to manage them effectively. Here are some of the benefits: Better decisions, improved morale, shorter time away from your desk, better results and increased value.

Which meeting would you rather attend?

(More tips soon on how to make meetings engaging, interesting and productive)

 

 

It’s okay to do things badly at first…

By , February 29, 2012 5:53 pm

“Anything worth doing well is worth doing badly in the beginning.”

Marshall Thurber, Business Consultant.

Sometimes when we’re learning something new we feel awkward, very conscious and uncomfortable. We want to be perfect straight away. We might give up (or not even begin!) because we’re not willing to pay the price of putting extra time in to break through the awkwardness.

Success is all about persistence, practice, discipline and sacrifice.

My Dad taught me how to drive. I got my provisional driving license on my 17th Birthday. The day after, I had my first driving lesson.

The first time I sat behind the wheel of a car was an amazing experience. It was a dark January evening and I was so excited. Although I’d never driven before, I’d eagerly watched my Dad drive and learned the theory of driving from the passenger seat.

That night I drove almost perfectly, changing gears with confidence as if I’d been driving for a while. It was amazing! When we arrived home my Dad proudly told my Mum that he thought I was a ‘natural’ and I’d easily pass my test!

After this lesson I thought that driving would be easy.

The next time I got in the car I was crap! For the next month my driving sucked! I was nervous, grinded the gears, mounted the curb and my confidence was soon reduced to zero. Learning to drive was overwhelming it seemed that there was so much to think about and do all at the same time.

I’d NEVER pass my test… I dreaded my lessons.

I was so frustrated. I’d driven well before, WHY couldn’t I just do it again?

I was frightened of making mistakes and compare myself to THAT first lesson when I drove really well – I didn’t want to learn how to drive anymore! The memory of that experience started to destroy my confidence.

Here’s what this experience taught me about learning:

1. Give yourself permission to feel awkward – In order to learn something you have to give yourself permission to do things badly, screw up and be imperfect. Understand in advance that this is an essential part of learning and accept that this will happen sometimes as part of your learning journey. Let go of trying to be perfect and let yourself feel awkward. It’s okay! There’s a kind of innocence about it.

2. Competence = Confidence = Control – You have to pass through the feeling awkward stage before you start to develop some competence. Practice, patience and persistence help you to develop your competence. Competence allows you to feel more confident and feeling confident ultimately allows you to feel in control of the situation. You have to work through all three stages of this cycle and as you continue to learn, these elements become stronger. 

3. Create Momentum – You have to be willing to show up on a bad day as well as a good day. You have to keep going despite looking silly or feeling very conscious of how stupid you feel. After a while competence kicks in and the awkwardness falls away. Persistence is the key!

Allow yourself permission to feel awkward…

It can be quite liberating!

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