Becoming Human

Hey, wait a moment, I am human. What does it mean to be fully human?

Authenticity Radio invites you to come listen to guest Elaine Bailey explore the, “Authentic Human You.”

You can Listen Here: www.AuthenticityRadio.com

Being YOU is pretty damned amazing! So go out there and change the world! – Elaine Bailey

The post Becoming Human – Radio Interview with Elaine Bailey & Authenticity Radio appeared first on Elaine Bailey International.

“All real change REQUIRES risk. You must take risks everyday of your life. You must get up each morning and ask not, ‘What can I do that is the same today?’ but in fact the complete opposite: What can I do that is different?” 

~Debbie Ford, Author

I’m a past-master at risk aversion – clinging onto things. I may let go with one hand, but the other is still firmly holding on. Letting go and seeing what happens terrified me. I wanted to know how it would turn out before I let go.

My solution used to be to hold on, wait and hope that someone or something would change the situation or force my hand.

Here’s what I’ve learnt…

Taking a risk is a risky business, but it’s essential if you want to successfully change your life.

Often what we are clinging onto is our own inner security, those familiar habits. The way we have done things in the past is easier and this way we get to continue to make the same choices each day (even if we’re not very happy).

Life becomes stale and automated because we’re in a holding pattern, circling around, waiting for something to happen from the outside to jolt us into something different and exciting. At the same time the inside is bored, unfulfilled and stale. Showing up the same way every day feels dull.

We are naturally programmed for growth and it’s a life-long process. I believe that our souls are infinitely creative, curious and open to change. Our unconscious habits create limiting beliefs and we settle for mediocre rather than stretching for great. In the boredom and false sense of security our mindset becomes fixed and focused on preservation of what we have.

Risk is a really powerful thing…

I first experienced it when I was asked to travel internationally as a consultant. I was a woman travelling alone in countries where English was a 2nd or 3rd language. Some of my family and friends saw this as dangerous and that I shouldn’t be going.

I found each trip exciting and expanding for my soul! I learned new ways of doing things, developed an appreciation of different cultures and tasted whole palates of new food! Every time I travelled I also noticed the difference in the local wildlife. I was used to seeing British birds; in other countries the birds looked so different – I didn’t recognise them and enjoyed the excitement of spotting new species. I felt like I was an explorer!

I loved it!

Taking risks is like being an explorer.

It’s about doing something outside of the norm. It doesn’t have to be dangerous! Risk is about stepping out of the borders of you, of what you already know and trying something new. It’s easy to become locked into the person you are and become stagnant.

Why not step into the person you have yet to become? There is infinite possibility. Reach out and be a little uncomfortable. Be curious, be exciting and allow your soul to express itself. Surprise yourself by doing something differently, or taking up a new interest.

Here are a few examples to get you started:

• Join a dancing class
• Take up yoga
• Read a book that you wouldn’t normally choose
• Try some new food choices that you’re not familiar with
• Exercise a different way
• Change your morning or evening rituals
• Buy some different clothes for work
• Travel to a country you’ve never been before
• Learn a new craft

Taking small risks every day can be fun. It can fill you with joy and fulfilment because you’re trying something different. Practise can also help you to handle bigger risks when they show up in your life.

Learn to embrace the power of risk and why it is important for change.

The post The Power of Risk and Why It’s Important to Change appeared first on Elaine Bailey International.

“If you put small value on yourself, rest assured the world will not raise the price.”

~ John C Maxwell

Not believing in yourself is one of the main reasons that holds people back from being successful.

Most people struggle to recognize and articulate their own value. They feel uncomfortable communicating and creating leverage with others. (Such as a potential client or your boss.)

To be successful you need to recognize that you have value and continually add value to yourself by investing time and effort into you. This isn’t about being arrogant or egotistical – it’s about knowing your strengths and seeing the possibilities.

Here’s the thing…

So many people stop growing and fail to reach their potential because they don’t believe in themselves.

It’s a self-esteem issue.

If you don’t know your own self worth, you limit your potential because you’re not able to recognize the possibilities that are available to you.

As Zig Ziglar once said:

“It’s impossible to consistently behave in a manner inconsistent with how we see ourselves. We do very few things in a positive way if we feel negative about ourselves.”

How do you see yourself? Are you worthy?

• If you don’t believe that you have any value what you’re saying is that you’re not worth investing in.

• If you believe you are worthless, then you’re not going to put the time or effort in or look for opportunities to add value to yourself. You unconsciously relegate YOU to the bottom of the list.

Our own self-image is often a reflection of the value that others project on to us. Most of us set our expectations based on other people’s opinions or beliefs of us.  This is okay if we have supportive and encouraging people around us. If not, then you’ll start listening to the negative influences of others. You stop believing in yourself and listen to the voices of others instead.

Here’s what the naysayers might be saying around you:

• ‘You’ll never account for much!’
• ‘You’ll not get anywhere with running a business’
• ‘No one in our family has ever amounted to much!’
• ‘You’ll fail in six months and wish you’d kept your old job!’
• ‘It’s not going to happen so don’t waste your time.’

These statements are not true…

I believe your potential is unlimited. Explore and cultivate the possibilities of what could be.

Here’s how to start:

1. Stop worrying about what other people think of you – It’s what YOU think of YOU that matters! I’ve coached many people who have been living their lives according to what other people believe about them. My family was skeptical that I’d run my own business. Do it anyway! Create your own solution. You get to choose who you become – Not other people!

2. Listen to your language – You are what you think through the constant conversations that you have in your head. Are these positive or negative? Change the way you think of yourself by improving the quality of your inner dialogue.  Stop being your worst critic and become your coach instead. Have positive conversations rather than negative ones. Tune in to how you talk to yourself.

3. List your strengths – Get to know yourself. Increase your self-awareness by understanding what you’re good at:

• What feedback do you get from others about what you are good at?
• What are your strengths (Strengths Finder 2.0 is a great starting point)?
• What are your talents and skills?
• What are you doing when you’re helping other people?
• What do you enjoy doing?

4. STOP comparing yourself to others – Being successful is about your relationship with YOU. Comparing is an unnecessary distraction that takes your attention away from your intention and is harmful to your self-esteem. It’s all perception and it will either discourage you or feed your ego! None of which serves you or help you grow. Stay in your business of YOU. What do you need in order to grow today?

5. Identify and reframe your limiting beliefs – Most limiting beliefs are self-Imposed. Reframing enables us to find new and different ways of thinking about a situation to open up new possibilities that were previously closed off. Reframing can transform our understanding of a situation and lead to new thinking, feeling, action and better outcomes.

Here are some questions to help you to reframe a limiting belief:

• What are you thinking that’s getting in the way of your success right now?
• How does this make you feel?
• How do you want to think, feel and act instead?
• Write a turnaround statement for yourself.
• Give yourself permission to think, feel and act in this new way.
• Practice it daily so it becomes a habit

5. Look for opportunities to demonstrate your value to others – Share your gifts with others. Be in service to others by helping them with your expertise and experience. Let them know how you can help them. You might have information to share that saves someone time and helps them become more effective. Look for opportunities to reach out. This will create positive experiences.

Take a small step each day to uncovering and sharing your value – Forward motion.

You ARE WORTH IT!

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“The difference between who you are and who you want to be…is what you do…”

~Author Unknown

Doubts and fears often get in the way of us realising our goals and dreams. We ride the tide of feeling empowered only to be washed ashore by fear and doubt. The voice in our head provides a rich dialogue of excuses of why we should give up right now.

Excuses reinforce our limiting beliefs.

So our thinking keeps us stuck as we loop around in the flotsam and jetsam often without us realising it. Each day we are unconditionally programmed to think the same thoughts and habitual patterns over and over again!

Here are some of the common excuses I’ve experienced with my clients. (Maybe you’ll recognise a few, I certainly do

“I don’t have the time…”
“I’m too set in my ways…”
“I’m too old (or too young)…”
“I’m not good enough…”
“I’ll take too long…”
“I don’t deserve it…”
“I can’t afford it…”
“My family/partner won’t like it…”
“I’m too busy…”
“It’s too risky…”
“The rules say I can’t do it…”
“I’m too scared…”
“I can’t do it alone…”
“I’m not fit enough…”
“It’s too difficult…”
“No one has ever done it this way before…”
“It’s not in my nature…”

Excuses are NOT the truth, but if you allow yourself to become hooked by your thinking, then the situation feels hopeless.

Our habitual mind consciously runs the show using a lifelong wealth of old thinking patterns and habits.

I believe that you have a choice over everything that you think, say and do. You can create new habits and patterns. As Dr Wayne W Dyer explains:

“When you abandon making choices, you enter a vast world of excuses.”

…It’s about choosing instead of excusing!

Changing unwanted thinking and behaviour, as we know, is possible and REALLY… It doesn’t have to take months to re-programme your thinking. You can choose to access your habitual thinking and begin to re-program any thinking that no longer serves you.

Here’s how you can begin this process and become someone who no longer relies upon excuses…

The post How to Give Up Your Excuses appeared first on Elaine Bailey International.

“Infinite patience brings immediate results.”

- A Course in Miracles

Every summer holiday when I was a kid my Mum and Dad would take us to the seaside. We LOVED it! It was the highlight of the school holidays.

Being on the beach was so much fun. Driving to the beach, though, was a different story! My Brother and I dreaded the journey because it was tedious and boring. We sat in the back winding each other up and usually after only five minutes of travelling we’d grow impatient and repeatedly ask: ‘Are we there yet?!’ This trip always seemed to take forever. It was so frustratingly slow in our anticipation of being able to play on the beach!

Some of my coaching clients struggle because they want it all – NOW. During our first session they want the answer to EVERYTHING so they can just run a successful business or just get promoted into that leadership position.

“Give me the information, the tactics and I’ll rush in and get on with it!”

We live in a fast-paced world where everything is needed NOW! So there’s a lot of pressure on getting instant results – quick fixes – making money fast!

I saw this recently when coaching people in a modular business program. Two clients wanted all the content at the beginning instead of working through the program a module at a time in order to build a firm foundation. There is a difference between racing and pacing your way to success. Yet our impatience gets in the way.

As my mentor taught me: “It’s not just about information, it’s about implementation.”

Building a successful, sustainable business or becoming an effective leader takes time. You have to build the knowledge, skills and gain experience. Sometimes you need to start by creating a firm foundation and then experiencing things. It’s about creating consistent action and understanding the depth and breadth of what you are learning.

In our haste to be successful we create urgency and pressure to get it all done as quickly as possible. Racing to tick all the boxes doesn’t guarantee a successful outcome – you are missing the depth and breadth of understanding and connection along the way. This urgency gets in the way and blocks your progress.

Here’s the thing…

There is no destination… you’ll never be done! Your work isn’t about trying to get somewhere – it’s about being somewhere right now in every moment. I’ve noticed that sometimes the faster a person wants to zip through things the slower they actually move. They miss out on the experience and other messy stuff! Which is a huge part of being a leader or running a business.

They get bogged down in frustration, overwhelm and beat themselves up for not being successful. Instead of focusing on their current experience right now. It’s those little steps – one after the other – that creates momentum and ultimately completion. This can’t be taught – it has to be experienced.

If you just want to get the work over with in order to achieve your goal, then I guarantee it’ll be hard work, tedious and dull (like sitting in the back of the car with my Brother on the way to the beach!).

1. Take a deep breath – Breathe! This helps you to create a circuit breaker from your current thinking. Focus on your breathing and take your attention away from your frustration and urgency. Create some breathing space.

2.  Recognise and then let go of any anger or frustration or judgments – notice them but decide that they don’t drive you. You get to choose your thinking. Look out for any resistance and let go of old stories and doubts that no longer serve you – they are not the truth. Rushing ahead isn’t always a good strategy; it’s not about ticking boxes and getting stuff done.

3. Be fully present in the moment – This moment! Focus on the scenery along the journey, not just the end goal or the length of the journey you have to take. Savor the moment. Take time to enjoy what you’re doing. This will dissolve any anxiety and boredom and neutralize tedium. When YOU show up so does everything else (trust me on this one!).

4. Keep it simple – Focus on one thing and do it well. Break things down into small doable tasks and do them one step at a time. Where you place your attention is EVERYTHING! Attention creates your experience and connection with the one thing you’re doing right now in this moment. Have fun with it. Protect your attention from any BSO’s (Bright Shiny Objects).

5. Slow down to speed up – Create the right pace for yourself. Stay grounded and re-align yourself to where you are now and check in on where you want to be. Focus on reality and know that completing the ordinary stuff makes a difference because you’re creating momentum and completion through implementation. Things are more joyful when you slow down and stop trying to kill yourself!

For me, success is all about your thinking. You are what you focus on. Choose to move away from frustration and impatience instead of rolling your eyes at how long things will take to get done!

The post Do you struggle with how long things seem to take? appeared first on Elaine Bailey International.

“The fixed mindset makes you concerned with how you’ll be judged; the growth mindset makes you concerned with improving.”

~ Carol Dweck, Mindset the New Psychology of Success.

Have you ever met someone like this? Who’s supersensitive about being wrong?

Over the last 25 years learning has been both my profession and a personal passion.

I believe that people’s ability to learn and grow is strongly influenced by their ability to set their mind for success. Mindsets are beliefs that start life as thoughts. They have gained power by being replayed over and over and have solidified to become strong beliefs.

I often get to observe people’s resistance to learning and growing sometimes because they falsely believe that their ability is fixed. Instead they decide to play safe and hide behind their existing ability and become over cautious and scared to try something new.

There is a difference between having a fixed mindset and a growth mindset towards learning and growing. The different behaviors ‘play out’ regularly in business meetings, the classroom and during coaching sessions with clients.

Here’s an example…

My client Jon was struggling with one of his team, a corporate manager called Brian. He was difficult to give feedback to because Brian was hypersensitive about making mistakes and being wrong.

Brian’s fear of making mistakes in front of others made him feel like his ability was always on the line. This put him under a huge amount of pressure when learning something new. He felt like everyone was watching him and judging him. Failure wasn’t an option for him, it was something to avoid at all costs.

His inner security system kicked in to protect him whenever he felt that his ability was being threatened. His lizard brain and ego would take over. As a result, Brain had become supersensitive about being wrong or making mistakes. He would feel resistance when anyone gave him feedback and become defensive or he’d back down and play safe. His limiting beliefs were holding him back.

Here’s the thing…

You can literally change your mind!

I believe that you can grow your mind for success (my business is based on this principle!).

Here’s how we helped Brian…

Brian had set his mind to focus on the avoidance of mistakes. He wanted to prove his ability to the world and had put a lot of effort into validating himself with others. He’d become frightened of being rejected for not being smart or for making a mistake. He wanted to set everything up perfectly so he would succeed – if he couldn’t do this then he wouldn’t try.

• It’s okay to be imperfectly perfect – You are the sum of what you’ve learned so far and learning can be messy! Making mistakes are just part of the process. You develop your skills over time. EVERYONE makes mistakes and screws up at times!

• You can develop yourself – Potential is unlimited. Ability is NOT fixed. And you can change it. Knowing your current level of ability allows you to be open and honest with yourself – It creates a starting point from which to learn. You need to know: Where am I now? In order to learn effectively – this involves feedback and observation.

• You can change your mindset – Everyone starts out as a novice – If you take this view then you can a safe environment for learning – That’s why you’re here to learn and grow. Others have more experience and can be great teachers for you. Open your mind.

…It’s totally okay to make mistakes! It’s part of learning, growing and being alive!

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Make Decisions From Where You Want to Be

“When you make decisions from where you want to be, you become what you want to be!”

~Christine Kane, Singer-Songwriter and Mentor

Much of my early adult life was spent trying to please everyone else. I lived my life according to my perception of other people’s expectations and opinions of how I should behave and who I should be.

I became very good at it, but I felt like I was leading the wrong life. Deep inside I knew that this wasn’t the REAL me.

I was lost, confused and very unhappy. At the time, I didn’t know why.

Six years ago I took a leap of faith that changed my life. I decided to look for something more. This led me to attending my first ever women’s retreat in the USA. It was here that I realized I wanted to become my essential self.

So I went on a quest to find what I called: ‘Pure Elaine’. This was my clear vision. I didn’t know what ‘Pure Elaine’ looked like but deep down I knew how it felt and this was my compass.

It was to be a dramatic shift, one that has changed my life completely not just with business, but internal too.

Ultimately Pure Elaine led me to create my business and I resigned from the (well paid) corporate job that I’d outgrown. I put faith in the Universe and followed my heart. Step by step a path unfolded before me.

During this entire time I made decisions NOT from where I WAS but from where I WANTED to be.

This was a hard thing to do because the naysayers around me constantly mentioned the ‘economy.’ It’s so easy pull back as you listen to ‘how brave you are starting a business in THIS climate.’ ‘I wouldn’t make any decisions right now.’ Their advice was to stay small, safe and still, and wait for things to get better on their own.

Instead, I continued my quest and things started to open up for me. I received requests to run workshops from former colleagues and friends. I delivered a Keynote Speech in Arizona which led to over ten percent of the audience signing up for coaching! I developed my BrilliantLife™ Coaching Program and WorkBrilliant® Coaching Solutions™ was born! I’ve not looked back!

My mentor doesn’t recognise me. I’m a totally different person today…

Here’s what I’ve learned…

When you make decisions from where you want to be, you become what you want to be!

As I changed, my life opportunities opened up for me and things just started to happen. I continued to take forward motion, one step at a time. I listened to my heart instead of my limiting beliefs and learned to recognise struggle and efforting as symptoms of me being in resistance.

1. Don’t move away from what you don’t want (e.g. I hate my job!). Instead, get clear and move towards what you do want. Shift your energy before taking action. Change your internal dialogue to ‘towards’ language instead of ‘away from.’ Your job is to align to your intention and get into the flow! As you relax and let go everything begins to flow. Doors will start to open.

2. Set a clear intention about the life style you want to live. What does it look like, sound like and feel like? Notice how it makes your heart sing! Be the person you want to be – NOW! Start embodying how you want to show up every day. Use your Intention as a mantra to become that person. For example, if you want to be a confident speaker. Set your Intention and say to yourself: ‘I am a confident speaker.’

3. Challenge your beliefs about money and work. Stop being a prisoner here – you’re now in transition. Focus on what you appreciate about your current job, the people and what you’ve learned. You don’t have to quit tomorrow! Use it as a springboard to open doors for new opportunities, stop resisting and relax a little more.

4. Step out of your common surroundings and do something different. Make a commitment to start creating forward motion today (take that training course, join the gym!). Be consistent so it becomes part of your daily practice – creating true empowerment. As you do what you love, you step into your higher self.

5. Courage involves not waiting for us to become courageous, but by being courageous. If you practice the above, then you’ll not feel like you’re making a huge courageous decision when the opportunity arrives or inspiration comes to you. It will feel right and true. Step into your power today and stop worrying about the HOW – the Universe has this covered! Trust me!

Start making decisions from where you want to be…

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