Category: Uncategorized

Lighten Up and Let Go – How to get in the flow of what you WANT…

By , October 2, 2013 7:15 pm

iStock_000012339432Large“Struggle and efforting always means that you are in resistance. As you relax, lighten up and let go, everything begins to flow.”

 ~ Gill Edwards, clinical psychologist and author.

A few years ago, I took a HUGE leap of faith and completely changed my life. I resigned from being an International Learning and Development Consultant and Head of Coaching in a very reputable training consultancy, so that I could develop my own coaching and learning consultancy business full time.

Back then, I had no real idea of how to run a business or market my services, as I’d been an employee ALL of my working life. I had some jumbled ideas on how I could earn a living and grow my business AND I had the support of an awesome business mentor.

Step by step I did it scared, took risks and lived through fear of uncertainty, ignoring the negative voices in my head, who were constantly poking holes in my confidence and offering up daily serving of self-doubt. Where are you going to get clients? Who do you think you are? What if you don’t make any money? What if no one wants to work with you?

Having being used to a regular income and the security of a J-O-B, I remember moments of terror in those early days. I regularly questioned my sanity! Work was a little patchy at the very beginning: I’d get a few clients, then a gap (the gap scared me the most!).

Taking one step at a time with guidance and support I started to move in the right direction. Former colleagues or clients asked me to run workshops or coach their leaders. I knew deep down that I was on the right path. One thing led to another and opportunities started to manifest. As soon as I stopped struggling and efforting to get clients, everything started to flow.

Something had shifted…

I stopped wasting energy on worrying and feeling desperate. I changed my inner dialogue from: But what if it doesn’t… to: How can I… and got to work on making things happen.

This created a profound shift in my energy. Instead of being focused on moving away from what I didn’t want to happen, I focused my energy and thinking on moving towards more of what I wanted.

In other words… I focused on being a successful business owner and NOT being a bag lady living on the streets!

What you focus your attention on grows!

If you start to focus on the things you love doing: what makes you feel good, looking after and appreciating yourself (and others), filling your day with activities that you enjoy and being surrounded by people that you love, you can’t help but attract gifts and coincidences. Opportunities will start to open before you because you are aligning with your soul and your purpose.

Does this mean that you should resign from your job tomorrow if you hate it?!

Absolutely NOT!

…Especially, if you don’t have any other source of income just now!

I didn’t hate my job when I resigned, I’d just simply out grown it. I got tactical and created a plan so I could transition and step into a growing business.

Whatever you want to create… Lighten Up and Let Go – Here’s how to get in the flow of what you WANT…

Set a clear intention – Start getting clear on what you want. What do you want to change? Clarify what makes your heart sing! Examine your beliefs about work, wealth and money.

Relax into what you do now – Most people don’t get clear and then give their job up the next day. There is a transition. So while you’re still in your current role, re-align to what you like about what you do already. Relax into your work rather than resisting it. Your current role is a key stepping stone to whatever you want to do next. Engaging with it will open doors to new opportunities. It helped me to reframe my existing job to become part of the transition.

Watch your language MOVE TOWARDS what you want, NEVER focus on moving AWAY FROM what you don’t want . Re-align your thinking to what you want to achieve. Create a positive focus. Check your language. How do you talk to yourself about it every single day. Shift your energy before taking action!

Don’t worry about HOW it’s going to happen – Trying to FORCE something to happen can actually push it away because you create resistance! Once you put it out there, the Universe handles the details: the when, where and how! You’ll figure it all out as you go along and everything will happen at the right time. You don’t need to know ALL the details before you begin. Timing is all about aligning with your higher self.

Things start to flow – As you grow, you’ll start to notice opportunities open up for you. You’ll meet an old friend out of the blue who can help you. You’ll hear valuable information on the radio. Things start to happen around you and you’ll attract the right people to help you. You’ll get some traction and motivation as things begin to feel lighter and you feel more on purpose.

Lighten up, let go to get in the flow of what you WANT…

 

Be persistent to get what you want in your life (or work)

By , September 25, 2013 6:17 pm

Be Persistent“You choose to do this work daily. Then you choose to do it again. There is no failure. There is no arrival. There is practice. And process. And persistence.”

~Christine Kane, Mentor

Have you ever had the experience of trying everything you knew to get promoted or help a member of the family or get new clients to buy your products or services in your business, but nothing seemed to work?

No matter how hard you try, the more you fear trying again. You start making hesitant attempts and in the end you might even stop trying. After all, no one wants to give his or her all when they are experiencing disappointment. You get stuck in a rut of disappointment and limiting and negative beliefs.

At this point you start to believe that nothing will work and you give up trying. The fear can be so strong that you become scared of trying again.

What I’m describing here is learned helplessness. Through your experiences of trying you have learned and now perceive that the situation is helpless: “I’m just not cut out for this!” Or “The Universe is trying to tell me something!” Or “I’ve tried everything!”

Here’s the good news…

This is a PERCEPTION… it’s not real. You still can make things happen and change your approach to get the results you want.

Here’s what you need to know…

We are deeply programmed to think negativity, talk negativity, focus on what’s not working, point out what we don’t like, and fill our heads with our judgments, opinions and criticisms. We are wired to look out for things going wrong – it’s our survival instincts. Blame it on our biology – We have our own built in resistance thanks to our Lizard Brain.

Knowing this can help…

Persistence is the key.

Being persistent can help you to get what you want. It’s about taking action despite the circumstances or whether you feel like it.

The longer you are persistent, the greater your chance of success.

Sometimes the odds may seem overwhelming, and everything seems to test your commitment to the goal you’re pursuing. Refuse to give up while you learn from each experience, develop and grow and commit to your original intention.

Here’s how being persistent can help you get what you want…

Re-Frame any negative beliefs – This is the first step… Get rid of the notion of learned helplessness – That you CAN’T do anything or that the situation is helpless. What has happened in the past doesn’t mean that it has to happen again in the future. It’s what you decide to do right NOW that counts. What can you do starting today that is different?

What’s Important here? Decide on what is important and start to take conscious deliberate action each day. WHY did you commit to this goal originally? How it will make you feel when you are successful? Get clear and focus your attention on moving forward. Give your goal High Value, write it down and keep it on your radar!

The best way out is through – Hang in there. Focus on the next single step and keep moving forward despite any setbacks or busy workloads. Re-define and maintain your boundaries. Show up and make it happen. Persevere until you find a way even when it doesn’t look as if it’s working. You will learn from every action you take and find better ways of doing things.

Deal with any resistance – You may experience criticism from others along the way. People may say NO – But keep going and keep growing. Don’t allow things to get in the way of you achieving your vision. Yes, people may think you’re CRAZY! That’s okay! Continue to plant the seeds, do the right things and take action. When confronted with any obstacle – try this:

  • Brainstorm each obstacle.
  • Avoidance is NOT a strategy!
  • Come up with at least 3 different strategies for each.
  • Be solution focused NOT problem focused.
  • Use an experienced mentor or coach as a sounding board.

Get an Accountability Partner –If you’re procrastinating, share your weekly actions with someone you know and trust. Check in with them at the end of the week to let them know your progress. This can help you stay accountable for your actions.

Pure persistence, consistent deliberate action and the flexibility to pursue your goal will ultimately give you want you want. Make it a daily habit.

Whatever your goal, you can make it happen with passionate work and consistent dedication. Stick at it! Learn from your mistakes. How you deal with your setbacks shapes your future!

Be persistent to get what you want in life or work!

“Success is the result of good judgment. Good judgment is the result of experience. Experience is often the result of bad judgment.

~ Source Unknown

 

How to Handle Resistance to Change

By , September 18, 2013 5:59 pm

iStock_000003537689Large

Handling resistance to change is a common challenge for many of us.

As a coach, resistance is something that often comes up for people.

The uncertainty of learning something new can make us feel vulnerable, because taking action tests the boundaries of our own beliefs and can push up against the beliefs of others. You’re leaving behind what you already know to make a transition in a different direction – This takes courage.

Whenever we feel threatened or judged our cells go on red alert and the body floods with adrenaline. All your senses are heightened, you feel mistrustful and on guard. You become defensive and you seek control and security.

It creates self-doubt, procrastination, fear, low self-esteem and even self-sabotage in any aspect of your life. You become defensive and self-protective – seeing the problem as ‘out there’ (external).

Your Lizard brain kicks in for self-preservation. You shrink into fear-mode. Your negative emotion warns you that you are self-sabotaging your goals and desires. You might become the victim and replay stories from the past to reinforce just how much of a loser you really are. You’re like a deer in headlights. You may withdraw or exclude yourself from anything that feels dangerous or bad.

I imagine resistance as a creature like Gollum in Lord of the Rings! He has long gnarled fingers and lurks around in the corners of your mind feeding off your Lizard brain – that niggling voice in the back of your head making you feel dysfunctional, insecure, vulnerable, disempowered, or unloved: “Who do you think you are?!”

When you are locked in resistance there is no room for growth because your consciousness is constricted. Being afraid of uncertainty and change makes you repeat the same old patterns of behaviour:

  • FLIGHT – Stay external and become a people pleaser trying hard to help everyone else, accommodating others and keeping busy. Coaches are very good at coaching others instead of looking for someone to coach them through their own resistance.
  • FIGHT – Blame, criticize, attack, control or manipulate others seeing them as wrong.
  • FREEZE – Spin your wheels, withdraw, don’t let anyone in or close down so that you can feel safe. Collapse into a coach so they can ‘fix’ you.

All three options keep the problem at arms length: external.

There’s no room here for creativity. Suddenly failure becomes an option and you’re really scared.

Resistance can kill your goals and dreams and destroy your confidence all at the same time.

The truth is that EVERYONE has THAT voice (Gollum) in his or her head in the same way that everyone breathes. Resistance is natural and part of your human defenses.

If you’ve grown up with this then, according to Stephanie Mills (author), the more protection becomes an habitual way of being: you look out for threats, then attack, defend or close down. It feels like family!

Resistance is just testing your resolve. It’s part of the process. Here’s how to handle resistance to change:

1. Awareness – That you actually created your own resistance. You are getting in your own way. Eckhart Tolle says that: “awareness and ego cannot co-exist.” Self-awareness encourages your authentic self to be at the centre of your experience. Recognising that you are in resistance can help you to release it. You can override it at any time by taking conscious action. You get to choose whether you stay stuck or not.

2. Are you operating from fear or love? We all have the capability to act from either of these two states of awareness. Both are built into what I call your ‘Fizz’ (physiology) and psychology. Where are your thoughts operating from:

  • Protection or growth?
  • Closing down or opening up?
  • Judgment or acceptance?
  • Control or trust?
  • Old habits or new ideas?
  • Criticism or appreciation?

You get to choose!

3. What’s your WHY? – Getting clear on your intention or goal can dissolve any fear associated with your resistance. Reconnect to your passion and draw energy from it by answering the following two questions and use these as your touchstones as you’re working through:

  • WHY do I want to do this?
  • How badly do I want to succeed?

4. Fight resistance with assistance! Get some support from like-minded people. A coach can help you to recognize your resistance and help you to challenge and overcome it. Being in the presence of encouragers is so important when you’re trying to create new mindsets and results.

5. Accept that things go wrong – You can’t always prepare for and sometimes things don’t work. There’s a difference between quitting and feeling like quitting. Failure means that we are growing – it’s all about learning. You get to figure it out. Work the problem to create your solution.

The more important your call to action, the greater the sense of resistance you’ll feel. It’s a natural part of life.

When you run from uncertainty, you’re actually running away from your life. If you want to create anything be it a business, a career, making a difference with your clients resistance is part of the journey… Consider it as growing pains!

 

Who’s Responsible?

By , September 11, 2013 9:46 pm

(originally published May 8, 2010)

“You must take personal responsibility. You cannot change the circumstances, the seasons or the wind, but you can change yourself.”

Jim Rohn, business philosopher

Let’s face it…

You are responsible for the quality of the life that you live. Not your boss, spouse, partner, kids, friends, neighbours or parents. Your success is down to you.

Your career, aspirations, relationships, family time and fun time are all down to you.

The truth is that circumstances happen. Thoughts are then created around this, feelings are generated which leads to action or non action being taken. So you end up with an outcome…

It’s easy for your ego to apportion blame to someone else for that outcome.

Here’s the thing…

Irrespective of who you want to blame, it was:

YOU that created those thoughts. YOU who generated those feelings. YOU who chose action or inaction. YOU who generated the outcome!

OUCH!

Blaming others is your ego’s way of avoiding ownership and responsibility for something that has happened or hasn’t happened! You can think your way around excuses and believe that your lack of success in a situation is down to someone else. The result is that you convince yourself that you don’t have to take ownership for it!

You become so busy blaming others that your success slips further and further away. You believe that others have it in for you! There’s a conspiracy:

  • Why didn’t they give me my promotion?
  • Why are they holding me back?
  • Why did they say no? When it should have been yes!

‘They’ is a powerful word – it’s an emotive trigger that hooks you. Blaming them potentially destroys any positive solution because you feel that things are outside of your control. All control is now held by them! This can twist and distort our thinking and create limiting beliefs.

It’s very easy to become a Drain whining, moaning and colluding with anyone who you can get to listen. Repeating this story They become stronger, bigger and harder to defeat. You become smaller and less powerful.

STOP!

As Byron Katie explains, ‘You are not your story.’ Yet while you replay it and allow your ego to feed from it – you continue to believe it. The story becomes bigger and more real.

If you want to be successful, stop blaming others and start taking responsibility for your thinking, feelings, actions and results.

Here’s how:

  1. Acknowledge the truth – learn to accept the truth of a situation. It’s not about blaming yourself or others. Don’t get hooked by your story. It’s just a story!
  2. Be imperfect – We judge others by their actions, we judge ourselves by our intentions. Therefore, if something doesn’t meet our own internal high standards it’s easy to criticize and blame others. We are all trying to do our best. Sometimes we get things wrong, this is the hardest part of learning and growing. Learn to allow imperfection into your life.
  3. Take responsibility – For the thoughts you are thinking, the feelings you are creating and the actions you are choosing to take. Remember you create your own outcomes and you ALWAYS have a choice.
  4. Take a different view – Reframe the situation from a different perspective. Step into the other person’s shoes or dis-associate yourself from the situation and view it from an observer’s perspective.
  5. Stop trying to change others - Don’t wait for someone else to change – you’ll be waiting a very long time! It’s all about you and how you show up.

Your thoughts, feelings and actions have got you to where you are now.

Where are you now?

How’s your sense of direction? Do you know where you are growing to?

By , September 5, 2013 7:42 am

3D business white people. Mobile phone with GPS“If you don’t design your own life plan, chances are that you’ll fall into someone else’s plan. And guess what they may have planned for you? Not much.”

~ Jim Rohn

How’s your sense of direction?

Most people simply let their life happen to them. They wait, procrastinate and react. There’s no sense of urgency and certainly no strategy. They just get busy doing stuff…and time rolls on.

They stay stuck because they don’t know what to do.

We all burn through time so quickly. Before you know it most of your life is behind you. Reality sets in that you should have been more proactive and strategic, rather than waiting and putting things off.

I think it was Charles Handy who wrote that we live life backwards: the longer we live the more we learn and experience, by the time we have it all figured out we’re too old to do anything about it!

…But it doesn’t have to be that way.

You can DECIDE TODAY to stop waiting and reacting!

As a career strategist, I sometimes work with people who are confused because they have no idea what to do with their life, career or business…

It’s a bit like they are lost in a foreign city without a map. They don’t have a sense of purpose or direction. Their growth is random and chaotic. They drift from one idea to another and have no clue to where they want to go. In this confusion they collapse into a coach for the answer.

Here’s how I see it…

You have to develop your own sense of direction by creating two reference points:

1. ‘You are here’ – In other words, you need to know where you are now. Unfortunately this doesn’t appear on a notice board with a big arrow on it (like in a big city or shopping mall!). You have to sit down work it out for yourself. But there are some clues…

Your direction in life begins with SELF-AWARENESS. As John C Maxwell says: “You must know yourself to grow yourself!”

You have to get to know:

  • Your strengths
  • Your weaknesses
  • Your passion
  • Your opportunities

From my experience, most people lack self-awareness, don’t know their strengths or the value they bring to their daily lives. Start by focusing your attention here, because your natural strengths and passions are where you have the most potential for growth.

Do things that you are passionate about, not just interested in. There is a difference in the energy of these two words! Pay attention to:

  • What do you enjoy doing?
  • What would you like to do?
  • What are you good at (other people will tell you this)?
  • What would you like to do more of?
  • Why would you like to do this?
  • How can you get to do more of this?
  • Who can help you?
  • What is your investment to make this happen (time, resources, money, sacrifice)?
  • What’s your first step beginning today?

Get to know yourself and accept who you are in this moment.  This can take time.

Okay… Our second reference point is…

2. Where you want to go –Your strengths hold the key for where you have the most potential for growth. So start here. If you focus on growing your strengths, you will build confidence in your abilities and these can help you to set a course for where you want to go. Look for opportunities to use your strengths along the way.

Knowing yourself and growing yourself are intertwined. The path might not be clear at first, but you’ll get momentum on your journey by learning new things and applying them as you go.

Here are a few things to consider:

  • DECIDE to be proactive and take it seriously.
  • COMMIT to action and be consistent.
  • GET SUPPORT – You can’t get to reach your destination on your own. You’ll need the help and guidance of others who can teach you.
  • TAKE DELIBERATE ACTION even when you don’t feel like it.

Life is short and we don’t get any rehearsal time so I encourage you to develop a strong sense of urgency and proactivity.

How’s your sense of direction? Do you know where you are growing to?!

 

Why are you constantly working long hours and feeling exhausted?

By , August 28, 2013 2:31 pm

Man chained with office table (workplace) 2“Remember this: Burnout is not a crisis of time, it is a crisis of spirit.”

James Autry – Author.

In my role as a coach I notice the working habits of my clients as they share their working world with me. There is no difference between the habits of a corporate employee or a business owner: the patterns are the same. Most people are working too hard and the balance between work and personal time is sometimes non-existent.

There’s too much to do, not enough hours in the day and you’re unfocused because you’re getting splattered and distracted too easily.

You know you need to prioritize, etc. Most of us know what we should be doing. The main issue is actually a deeper one and while time management principles might help it’s important to also address the cause.

Let me explain…

If you don’t have some balance in your personal time and your work, then I can guarantee that you won’t remain productive for very long. I’m sure you have proven this to yourself in the past (I have for sure!). Overwhelm or burnout is waiting around the corner. You’ll soon start to make mistakes and become exhausted.

I’ve noticed that a lack of balance causes burnout in a couple of ways:

1. Obsessed with work – Nothing else in your life matters. Everything revolves around this. Work becomes the priority and you find reasons to work and excuses for avoiding any other activity such as creating personal time or family time. You become addicted to work and you feed off this stimulus. Burnout is when your relationships fail and your health becomes a problem because you’re not paying attention to the basics.

2. Overwhelmed by work – Workloads become so much of a burden that you lose all sense of any meaning or value in your work. You become disillusioned both on a psychological and emotional level, that you feel trapped and stuck. “Is this all there is?” You feel pretty miserable and exhausted.

Most successful people are dedicated, hard working and conscientious and there are times where you have to burn the mid-night oil or work through the weekend to get something done. This is perfectly okay and normal. There is a significant difference, though, if this is happening all the time and it is relentless.

No one is productive for 7 hours a day. So you’ll be even less productive if you consistently work 12, 13 or 15 hours a day (Research has proven this)!

So if this is happening there is a problem that needs addressing.

Here are some questions to ask your self:

  • Why are you constantly working long hours and feeling exhausted?
  • Are you really being productive in all these hours you are working?

If the answer is…

NO - You may be working long hours and staying late at the office, but without any real focused activity. This is a self-related issue.

  • You may be using your work as an excuse to hide from other activities such as an unhappy (or no) personal life.
  • You might not know what to do with yourself when you are not working because you’ve gotten out of the habit of relaxing and enjoying hobbies, interests, family and friends.
  • You have become addicted to work.
  • You may be dis-organized and need to practice some self-management principles consistently.

Get some support to help you learn and consistently implement some self-management principles, get focused, set some boundaries and begin to create a personal life for yourself outside of work.

If the answer is…

YES - If you are being productive in all the hours you’re working, then this is telling you a different story because this is a job-related issue. Here are some things to consider:

  • You have too much to do!
  • The structure of the job itself needs to be reviewed because it’s impossible to achieve everything in regular hours.
  • You may have become a people pleaser saying yes to everyone else and no to you.
  • You’re trying to do everything!
  • You think that saying no to extra work is a weakness.
  • You are not realistic about what you can achieve.

You might need some support to help you learn how to delegate or outsource aspects of your role, get some hired help, set some boundaries and learn to be more assertive and say no. Review the role it’s not realistic.

I used to work in an organization where the managers defined dedicated hard workers as people who worked consistently long hours. This is a false delusion because you won’t accomplish more because you’re not able to be as productive. The quality suffers and you’ll make mistakes.

If you manage people, then role model balance to your team if you want them to be more productive and focused. You can’t expect them to do one thing, but you demonstrate another.

Check in on your working habits and do one thing today that helps you to create a healthier balance between your work and business life.

 

Big Boys (and Girls) DO Cry! How Your Emotions Can Make You Smarter…

By , August 21, 2013 10:13 am

Big Boys don't cry“Crying can make you smarter.”

Nancy Kline – Author

I was talking with a manager who admitted that he struggled when one of his team started to get emotional and cried. He wasn’t sure how to react; it made him feel uncomfortable, and he just wanted them to ‘get over it’ and get their control back. He’d find himself over talking and saying anything to try to stop their reaction. This didn’t make him feel good.

It’s funny how we label crying, anger, and even fear, as being out of control.

If you watch other people’s reaction to someone crying at work they might panic, look uncomfortable, or start talking and smother them with their own concern. This reaction is more about them and wanting the other person to stop, rather than about the person crying.

Our society is scared of tears, anger and fear. We just want it to stop. We think that the pain will go away if you just stop it!

Here’s a recent real life example…

I was watching a Mother at Tescos supermarket yelling at her 3-year old child who was crying because she couldn’t sit in the cart. The Mum grabbed her child by the arm and shouted: “Big girls don’t cry – Just grow up! Stop it! You’re a bad girl and you’re embarrassing me in front of all these people!”

I had to walk away from this…

The Mother was teaching her child to repress her emotions and push them down. The child was learning how to become acceptable. Of course, the little girl sobbed even more because of her Mother’s reaction.

We have been taught to pull ourselves together, not show our weaknesses, and we are encouraged to stop showing our emotions.

Here’s the thing, though… Our emotions are there for a reason.

When we get upset (angry, scared or tearful) our thinking stops. Human beings minds are designed to get logic and thinking back if an emotional circuit breaker kicks in. Expressing your feelings, e.g. talking your anger out with a friend on the phone, can be enough to restart your thinking.

Crying is a natural process to rid the body of pain and upset. It’s completely natural and a healthy way to release toxic energy that has built up inside us.

Myths and bad advice that our parents and teachers have taught us:

  1. Crying increases the pain – So if you want it to stop – STOP crying!
  2. Being angry means that you’re out of control – You need to control your anger. Anger is a bad thing – no one should be angry EVER! Stop being angry and your anger will go away.
  3. Being scared is a weakness – You need to toughen up and be more confident. Just stop shaking and you’ll not feel scared.

Stopping this natural release makes the pain find another route to flow. It is absorbed inside you, where it goes underground. Holding this in can cause pressure, anxiety and even physical illness if the issue is held down long enough. These built up feelings churn around inside you and block your thinking.

Here’s my response to the manager who was struggling…

If someone is crying at work it could be for many reasons: frustration, sadness or even because of a paradigm shift in their thinking that has had a profound impact on them.

In that moment, their emotions trigger in to release the energy; they need to cry because in that moment they can’t think. It’s the same with being angry or scared…

Allow and hold space for this to happen for a few minutes.

In those few minutes, they don’t need your platitudes or smothering with words.

  • If they are angry – Let them just talk it out. ALL you have to do is LISTEN. Don’t try to reason with them. Don’t jump in there and agree – you’ll make things worse! Ask them: what is it that is making you angry about this?
  • If they are crying – Let them cry and just sit with them (don’t do anything!). They may cry because they are frustrated and unable to think. This will pass sooner rather than later, if you don’t stop them.
  • If they are scared – Let them talk through their fear. Sometimes just articulating their fear and sharing it reduces its power. Again, all you have to do is LISTEN.

Hold space for them and act as if it’s perfectly okay and normal (because it is!). Give them your respectful attention.

Observe what happens…

They will recover in a short space of time and their thinking will re-engage. You don’t need to over compensate by thinking for them and rambling out loud!

It’s natural for people to occasionally get angry, cry or say that they are frightened. Allow safe space for this to happen and you’ll observe how quickly people can recover from their emotion and think more clearly afterwards.

Next time you’re feeling angry, sad or frightened, give yourself permission to allow your emotions out rather than keeping it all inside and pushing it down.

BIG Boys (and Girls) DO Cry!

 

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