Category: Personal Growth

What are you waiting for?!

By , March 20, 2013 7:01 pm

iStock_000015337955Small“How much of human life is lost in waiting”.

—Ralph Waldo Emerson, Lecturer and Poet

What are you waiting for just now?

  • The perfect client to walk through the door
  • That promotion I was promised
  • The right person to come into my life
  • The right time to leave my current job
  • For someone to notice the great work I’m doing
  • One more course or workshop that will teach me how to be a ……….

…These are just a few examples.

When you think about it we are ALL waiting for something…

I remember walking Belle the black labrador with my Dad on the beach at Alborough as if it were only yesterday (The reality is it was probably 25 years ago!).

We’d often talk about the children stories he was writing and how all the characters (The Camblesforth Bunnies) were getting into mischief! He talked about how One day he’d publish these books. One day he’d find out what needed to be done. One day he’d share them with the world.

My Dad was in a waiting room that lasted the rest of his lifetime.

These stories are still in a folder waiting…

He’d written and illustrated a series of short stories. One day as we were walking he told me that he was waiting for the right person to come along to give him the nudge and make things happen.

That person never showed up.

Sometimes the person you’re waiting isn’t going to show (they might not even exist) because the only person you are really waiting for is YOU.

I was coaching an executive this week whose long-term dream was possibly coming true: Her boss had been preparing her to step into his shoes. Suddenly he had decided to leave. This was the director’s role she’d always wanted. She now needed to step out and demonstrate that she was ready to secure the  secondment as a director. It was everything she’s been working towards.

You’d think she’d be excited and buzzing…

Now, she faced her own resistance of self worth and self-doubt and her confidence dipped. As the fear of stepping up became real, she started to push the role away…

Sometimes we create a false ceiling to hold us back because we just might actually pull it off! Fear kicks in and we create limiting beliefs that get in our own way of success. Gay Hendricks in his book called the Big Leap – calls this an Upper Limit Problem. We sabotage our own success because of our discomfort of a hidden fear inside that wants to keep up playing small. Our Lizard Brain is working overtime to protect us!  This is the last obstacle between you and success.

I believe that my Dad had an upper limit problem with his books. He’d got so far, then he got scared. The fear was enough for him to put the idea a side and allow himself to be distracted by something else.

What are you waiting for just now?

What would it be like if you decided to stop waiting and take a step towards what you want to create or have in your life?

I see opportunities as grains of sand in an hourglass… The hourglass turned when you were born and the grains of sand are falling through and slipping away.

Life is short and it’s easy to put things off because we believe that we have all the time in the world and we can come back to it and do it later.

…All you have is NOW… Now is where you can make things happen.

Here are a few questions to ask yourself:

  1. What are you waiting for just now?
  2. Why are you waiting?
  3. What is holding you back (is it real or perceived)?
  4. What would it be like if you decided to stop waiting and take a step towards what you want to to achieve in your life?
  5. What is the very first step you could take today?

You can choose to leave your waiting room – Reach through your fear to find the courage to take your very next step.

Remember… Courage is ALWAYS waiting at the other side of fear.

Don’t waste your life waiting…

Take a moment to think about this today…

 

 

How to be YOURSELF – Even when talking to important people!

By , February 27, 2013 2:34 am

Be Yourself“Leadership is not about holding on to territory, it’s about letting go of ego, bringing your spirit to work, being your best and most authentic self.”

~ James A Autry, The Servant Leader

Why are people sometimes so afraid to be themselves?

One of the key principles of self-leadership is the importance of being you.

However, some of us hide who we really are and instead present an image of how we think the other person wants us to behave in the hope that we will be accepted or liked.

I see this happen a lot in business, especially when leaders are stepping out of their comfort zones to play a bigger game. In corporate you might be attending a meeting with senior managers. As a business owner, you might be meeting an influential client or someone who is a role model and you feel star-struck to work with them.

Whoever the person, it’s easy for us to feel small, unworthy, inferior, or of lesser value. We perceive them as being so much more important and fall to pieces in these situations instead of being our normal, confident and articulate self…

Our internal thinking has a huge impact on our confidence and self worth. Our social and parental conditioning is against us being authentic and over time we have created rules, such as:

  • It is disrespectful to disagree with our elders, seniors or those more important than us.
  • Only speak when you are spoken to: We are taught what to say, when to say it.
  • Who you are is shaped by those who have influence over you. (You hand over your power to them.)
  • Don’t brag about what you’re good at as it might make other people feel uncomfortable. Push it down… (This is why most of us struggle to talk about our own successes.)
  • You have to be submissive with people more important that you.

Society creates ‘norms’ and we measure ourselves to them. We are under pressure to fit in. So here’s how we respond:

  • You want to keep the peace and hope they like you. So you say what you think they want to hear in order to become a people-pleaser.
  • You believe that your opinion is of lesser value and doesn’t count or it doesn’t matter. You perceive the other person’s opinion is of far greater value.
  • If you challenge or disagree with something, then you’ll be shot down or seen as difficult or negative.
  • You should keep your head below the parapet and blend in.

We live up in our heads most of the time, believing our thoughts to be the truth (you literally are what you think!).

Most of us go through life not knowing who we are or what we want. We settle, survive and keep our heads down. This is easier than trying to be yourself. Being real exposes you to vulnerability and judgment – this is scary.

The perception that someone is more important than you is often based on old concepts of power, especially in business. We try to work out where we fit in in the hierarchy.

True power comes from your personal power as a human being. By building trust and support you naturally attract other people.

Here are some tips on how to be you:

1. STOP WORRYING about what other people are thinking about you. You have no idea what they are thinking. These assumptions aren’t real. They are probably not thinking about you at all! This distraction only makes you get your own way of success. Instead of worrying about what to say, or how you look, focus on your intention for the meeting. Be 100% present for the person who is talking.

2. KNOW YOUR VALUE – Be useful as a leader to those you serve. Know WHY you’re attending the meeting.  Understand the value that you bring. You are there to provide information or  expertise so that others can make an informed decision. You are helping them to understand and make sense of things and prevent them making mistakes: Here’s how I can help you…

3. BE AN EQUAL –As human beings we all have the same worth and dignity. We are all equals no matter what role we play. See yourself as a consultant, not as a sub-ordinate. Let go of ego (theirs and yours) – it’s a distraction. Understand that some personality styles are different to yours. They package their language in a different way. It’s normal, not personal.

4. ALWAYS BE YOUR REAL SELF – Be the same person at home as you are at work… because you are! Be your authentic self – It’s who you really are. You have the same values whatever role you are playing. You already know how to interact with people at other levels – This is no different – Just be YOU. Find the language to help you say what you want to say.

5. FIND THE COURAGE to be you. Learn to listen to your heart as well as your head. People want an honest opinion, not ‘lip service.’ Be authentic and respond assertively, even if it is a difficult message. Remember, you are just talking to another person – we are all the same.

Be the person YOU want to be… from today!

It’s really okay to be YOU – Take yourself to work!

 

How to Stop Yourself Going the Wrong Way…

By , February 13, 2013 11:46 pm

“The best thing about the past is that it’s over. When people don’t deal with the past as if it’s over, then they’re not free to go into the future.”

~ Richard Bandler – Make Your Life Great

Throughout our day we are constantly talking to ourselves – Yes, THAT voice in our head, the one who seems to be sat pulling all the levers in the control tower of you!

I’m constantly reminded about the awesome power of language and how it influences who we are, what we believe and how we show up in our lives.

One of the great masters, who I once had the honour of learning from, is Richard Bandler. I was reminded of his work this week as I was coaching a client who was struggling in her mind to move away from the past and towards a new future that she was defining for herself.

She’d decided on a direction of where she wanted to go, but the voice in her head kept subconsciously sabotaging her thinking and taking her on a road trip back to her past, rather than to the future where she wanted things to go. Also, the close family around her was saying: “You’ll never change, you’re set in your ways!”

When we set a goal and decide to make a change in our lives our conditioning and internal language is still set on the old default pattern that got us stuck in the first place. As our unconscious thoughts travel down the neural highway, we find ourselves suddenly back in that old place where we used to be and we’re stuck once again in the past:

“History is repeating itself…”

“Here we go again…”

“It must just be the way I am, I’ll never change…”

I love using the metaphor of our neural highway being like a busy motorway or freeway. You can almost see the blur of taillights flowing past you at great speed. It feels overwhelming and fast… Before you know it, you’re in the wrong lane and you’re turning down that old piece of road again:  All routes lead back to the past – your old behaviour and patterns of language and beliefs.

We get caught up in old thoughts and loops that no longer serve us.

As my client spoke, her words made me realize that she was going into a behavioural loop; she was becoming anxious and started to become self-deprecating. She became once again, the person in her past rather than the person she now wanted to be.

I asked her to STOP and BACK UP…

This broke the chain… These words opened her to a deeper level of thinking.

We explored her thinking and how it was making her feel. She was frustrated that she was still going down the old road and not catching herself in time. She then described where she wanted to be with passion and enthusiasm.

Then she got clear – She knew exactly what to do…

She decided that this was the last time she was going to take this route. So she mentally installed a ‘Wrong Way – Go Back’ sign on her neural highway slip road (on-ramp) before the entrance of the old highway she was unconsciously turning onto.

She is now watching her language and paying attention so when that old thinking comes along, she has a conscious system to STOP and BACK UP so she doesn’t go the wrong way. She’s now able to follow the new signage of where she wants to go:  Happiness ahead. Better relationships – next exit, new career coming – 800 yards!

I helped her create some strategies to back up and reframe the situation, and replace her negative language with positive using the power of her intention.

My client reconfigured her brain with some new language patterns that serve her future and not her past. This shifted her state of mind and made things different so she can keep an eye on where she wants to be. She’s moving forward once again.

The past is what we know and we use it as a compass point, a frame of reference for comparison, whereas the future is unknown. It’s uncertain and we’ve no tangible evidence to support that anything could actually be different or better out there. It’s risky and uncomfortable. But you have two great advocates:  faith and courage, if you choose to take them along on the journey with you.

Creating and following a new route takes time and sometimes a little extra support and direction. It’s hard to do it all on your own. The last thing you need is someone with a clipboard standing over you telling you “you’ll never change or it won’t last long – look what happened last time!”

Dwelling on the past keeps you stuck – You’re going the wrong way!

Some people spend years and loads of money in therapy trying to understand WHY the past happened. My philosophy is that learning and growing (and healing) is all about letting go and taking forward motion. Life is fluid and too short to keep using the past as your navigation tool for the future. Create something new; you’ll be surprised how refreshing and exciting the new feelings are that come your way. It sets you free to go into your future!

Sometimes you need a little coaching support to get you started and change the language in your head. This opens you up to a world of infinite possibility.

What do you want behind you and want do you want in front of you?

Watch your language! How is it serving you right now?

 

 

Stop Hoping to be Successful and DECIDE to BE Successful

By , January 2, 2013 9:16 pm

Here’s something I have observed in others and myself…

Sometimes we can get in the way of our own success and block the flow.

We race after success without really knowing what it means for us; as a result, we are rarely successful because we are trying to live someone else’s dream of what success looks like. Instead, we contort ourselves in an attempt to align to their vision. This takes loads of effort and energy and the results are often disappointing.

A maze of social pressures pulls us off course and distracts us from our true direction.

The organization I used to work for defined success as: The harder and longer hours you work, the more successful you will be.

Success = Effort

I bought into it and this became my unconscious belief. Unwittingly it also became my work ethic for at least three years!

I regularly threw myself on the altar of personal sacrifice for work. I worked extremely long hours in the belief that my superiors would recognize my sacrifice. They would value my effort and promote me. It didn’t happen; instead I became exhausted and unhappy. The harder I tried – the further I pushed success away.

Looking back, I am so grateful for this happening because I realized I had been running around trying to GET promoted, but I had no idea why. It was something that I thought successful people supposed to want, and I wanted to be successful!

In this crazy, reactive world, people run around grabbing at a chance of success: ‘Yes, success… I want that! What do I need to do… How can I be like them?!’Sometimes, when we try to get something, we don’t consider why we want it, and therefore, we only work on external factors to make it happen.

I believe that success is a very personal thing.

Everyone defines success a little differently.

We are too busy comparing and competing with other people’s versions of success rather than carving and defining it for ourselves: ‘Why am I not as successful as them? I must try harder!’ It’s easy to become frustrated and disappointed when you perceive that THEY can do it much better than you!

But here’s the thing…Of course they can! It’s THEIR definition…not yours!

Once I realized this, my life changed completely.

I was done constantly comparing and competing with EVERYONE ELSE around me. I got down to the serious business of defining success for myself. This was such a liberating moment because everyone else’s story that I’d been carrying around just fell away.

The truth is that I started to become successful once I let go of following other people’s dreams of success and started to create and mold my dream for myself.

Remember, success is very personal – it comes from the inside-out. Following someone else’s definition is like starving your soul of light.

Here’s how to claim success for you:

1. Define YOUR OWN definition of success – Screw everyone else’s definition – we’re talking about you! You are a unique being on this planet. Stop trying to wear someone else’s shoes and ‘make them fit.’ What does success… look like, sound like and feel like for you? Maybe it’s flying 1st class to business meetings! Maybe it’s having a better balance of home and work life.

2. Claim success for yourself – Be the pioneer in your life. No one else does it like you. Become the leader. You can only do this by following your intuition and stepping out of the footprints of someone else, to create your own in the virgin snow. Intuition NEVER goes away – it’s always there guiding you to your higher self – if you’re prepared to listen to it. Be the role model for others.

3. Identify what you need – You grow into your success… (trust me on this one!) You don’t just walk around the corner and it is there, waiting for you. You have to nurture it. This requires self-awareness, vulnerability, openness, and a willingness to do things imperfectly. Also you need to stay true to you!

4. Stop being so scared! Being frightened is a natural reaction when you’re stepping up and trying something new. Recognize your fear and decide not to be paralyzed by it (life is too short!). Work through it by reaching through to find your courage instead. The most amazing things I have ever achieved have scared the crap out of me! But, here’s the thing about being scared: It’s when:

  • I feel the most alive – it’s exhilarating!
  • I grow to a whole new level of transformation.
  • I get awesome results.

5. Find someone to support and challenge you – There are so many coaches out there that are just focused on being supportive and helpful. While this is good, it doesn’t stretch you and help you to become the best you possibly can be. You want someone on your side that can support and challenge you… To claim your success – you need both!

STOP racing after someone else’s definition of success and give yourself permission to create your own!

Your successful life is waiting for you – Go deeper and start claiming it for yourself.

Who’s definition of success are you working to right now?!

 

 

7 Ways to Improve Your Personal Power and Influence as a Leader…

By , October 24, 2012 3:53 pm

“One word expresses the pathway to greatness: voice. Those on this path find their voice and inspire others to find theirs. The rest never do.”

 ~ Stephen R Covey, Author.

Many of us struggle when trying to influence others (sometimes we can’t even influence ourselves!)

One of the key elements of influencing is credibility.

You may have heard the saying: perception is reality – Other people judge you by your actions (what you do, what you say or how you act) and NOT by your intentions. Your behavior has a huge impact on your credibility.

You are your demonstrated behavior…

I’m often asked the question: How can I build my personal credibility?

Just because you’re CEO of your company or a manager/team leader in your department, this doesn’t mean that others will listen to you. Credibility isn’t guaranteed – you have to create it.

Sometimes you can leverage your expertise or use your status to influence others. You also may have witnessed where this power is over used (usually when someone’s ego kicks in and they become power-crazed!).

One often overlooked power-base is integral to your credibility (and authenticity): your personal power. It can be very effective.

I believe that we all are all born with unlimited personal power. Life bestows this gift upon us. As kids, we test it out in its purest form. Over time our personal power is shaped by cultural, social and parental influences around us.

These create layers of structure and conditioning that teach us how to blend and fit in. We unconsciously follow what is ‘acceptable’ behavior for someone in that role being influenced by those who we perceive to have authority around us.

 We are taught to keep our head down, be a ‘good employee’ and we blend into to our surroundings. Our own personal power is pushed down and subdued.

Sometimes we play small, perhaps over-awed by the perceived power of others. We become de-sensitized and numb to our own personal power, falsely believing that others have higher value and worth.

Your own personal power is ALWAYS available to you… You just have to choose to use it by becoming the power point in your life.

Here’s how to develop your Personal Power…

Clarity - People with high levels of personal power are clear and focused on what is important. They know what they want to achieve and can describe it to others. They have clear goals and take deliberate action.

Self-awareness – Most people struggle to allow their own voice to speak out. Finding your voice allows you to contribute, lead and make a difference. It is an evolving process: You don’t just wake up one morning and it’s lying next to you! You have to become a Student of YOU and go in search of it.

There are untapped talents lying dormant inside all of us. Tap into your strengths: What are you good at? What do you enjoy doing? What are you passionate about? Build on your strengths by looking for opportunities to use them in your daily work. Share them with others: I have value…Here’s how I can help.

Energy and Enthusiasm - Energy and enthusiasm are linked. They feed off each other and are key components of personal power. Successful, positive people have an abundance of energy. Enthusiasm is infectious: What are you infecting the people around you with??

Empathy - Understanding the other person’s map of the world, as they see it, is hugely important if you want to influence them effectively. If I believe that you understand me I will be more open and honest with you. Listening and understanding is important because people buy off people they know, like and trust. Genuinely show that you care. This isn’t about YOU… It’s ALL ABOUT THEM. Tune in to the people you are serving – Get to know them.

By being empathic you are demonstrating that you understand and respect their point of view (Even if you disagree). You are giving them value, showing you care by being authentic.

Self-belief - You are what you believe. Your thinking is YOUR reality. People with high levels of personal power believe in their vision and take deliberate action to make things happen. Learn how to reframe your limiting beliefs and change your thinking. Become the power point in your life. Believing in yourself makes you credible to others.

Lead the way – You don’t need formal authority to lead – Our conditioning just makes us falsely believe this. Stop waiting to be one of the ‘chosen few.’ Decide to step into your power and be proactive rather than reactive. Stop waiting for someone to give you permission to lead. Self-leadership begins from the inside out. Lead yourself and others will follow… Just be YOU!

Look for support  – A coach can help you develop and leverage your personal power. This can make a huge difference to your confidence and success.

Re-connect to your personal power.

How to be Imperfectly Perfect!

By , October 18, 2012 2:46 am

“The thing that is really hard, and really amazing, is giving up on being perfect and beginning the work of becoming yourself.” 

~Anna Quindlen, Author.

Hands up all the perfectionists out there!

Some of us struggle with perfectionism.

I’ll admit it I’m a reformed perfectionist. The core of my perfectionism was around earning approval and acceptance. This relates back to my childhood and going to the same school where my Dad was employed as a teacher.

My perfectionism was a shield that I could hide behind. I could prove that I was good through my results and NOT because I was getting special treatment from the other teachers. I was the perfect pupil at school. I demonstrated all the right behaviours: polite, good mannered, followed the rules, helped out and was friendly. It was here that I also developed and honed my people pleasing skills.

I was quite the model pupil – lots of ‘A’ grades on my school reports. My attention focused on protection as I craved praise for my performance and achievement. Perfectionism was quite addictive because I wanted to do everything just right. Looking back I realise that this strive for perfection was a protection mechanism to shield me from the pain of others saying that really I wasn’t good enough and for judging me as getting good grades only because my Dad was a teacher. I became focused on what will they think of me? I had to prove to everyone that I was a high achiever.

Of course, this transcended into my adult life, work and relationships.

My perfectionism wasn’t healthy, it wasn’t about self-improvement or striving to be my best. It was about self-protection. This defense mechanism actually held me back by creating a negative belief system around what will they think of me? I created this to maintain my self-worth and avoid judgment, self-blame and shame associated with being the daughter of a teacher at my school.

Research shows that perfectionism hampers success and can create depression, anxiety, addiction and leads to missed opportunities because of being afraid to step out and be anything less than perfect.

Here’s the truth…

There is no such thing as perfect.

It’s a myth!

From my experience perfectionism didn’t lead to results. Instead it sabotaged my efforts and reduced my self-worth. I got exhausted always trying so hard.

I believe that perfectionism is more about perception. You only have to look at how today’s media influences us: How we should look, what we should wear, what we should buy. The influences around us filter through and reinforce our limiting beliefs that we are not perfect enough.

The truth is about having the humility to step back and look at yourself as vulnerable and beautiful and a WORK-IN-PROGRESS. Acknowledge your vulnerabilities and cultivate self-compassion by becoming your own best friend, loving yourself for who you are and begin to embrace your imperfections. Begin with empathy for yourself.

“It is in the process of embracing our imperfections that we find our truest gifts: courage, compassion, and connection.”

~Brené Brown, Author

Being Imperfectly Perfect is liberating for me every day. Having permission to not have to get it 100% right all the time is hugely important for any human being. Most of us would never start anything.

I‘ve learnt how to let go of what I perceive other people think of me and today life is much more effortless…

I’m proud to say authentically that I am Imperfectly Perfect. I’m doing the best that I can and this is ALWAYS good enough.

Give yourself permission to acknowledge your vulnerabilities and embrace your imperfections.

Cultivate the courage to be Imperfectly Perfect.

 

How to Handle Criticism to Change

By , September 26, 2012 12:55 pm

How to Handle Criticism to Change 

“Staying REAL is one of the most courageous battles that we’ll ever fight. When we choose to be our true selves, the people around us will struggle to make sense of how and why we are changing.” 

Brené Brown, writer and research professor.

 

Criticism is a natural part of life.

At some point someone is bound to criticise you because you’re stepping out and trying something new. As we grow, the people around us struggle to make sense of how and why we are changing and worry about the impact on them.

Criticism is different than feedback because it feels painful, raw and personal.

Ridicule hurts because it makes us feel embarrassed and uncomfortable. We question the original decision to step up and be different.

Arthur Schopenhauser, German Philosopher and Author, reminds us that all change goes through three steps:

  1. Ridicule
  2. Violent opposition
  3. Acceptance as self-evident

I’ve coached people through all three stages when they decide to show up bigger in their life.

Here’s a real example to demonstrate these stages:

Jenny started working with a coach to help her stop being a people-pleaser and sacrificing who she was for the sake of what other people thought.

She set boundaries and started saying no to things that no longer served her.

Her husband started to notice a difference…

 

 Ridicule

“Look at you! You’ve been talking to that coach of yours again haven’t you?”

 He made fun of what she was trying to do.

This ridicule could be enough for Jenny to give in and go back to how she used to be, just to keep her husband happy. Our natural instincts are to be socially accepted. It’s tempting to go back to how she used to be, even though the new way is far more authentic and real.

 

 Violent opposition

“I hate these damned coaching sessions! I don’t like what is happening to you. You’re different! The ‘old’ Jenny was much nicer than the ‘new one’. You are being selfish these days. This coach is brainwashing you – Have you joined some sort of cult?!”

 Her husband felt fearful and unsure about the change he was seeing. His life was much easier before. He was worried about how it would affect him and their relationship. She had held a mirror up to him and this made him feel uncomfortable. He felt threatened by the ‘new’ way.

Verbal aggression is cruel and painful and can stop us in our tracks. We question our judgment and ability to move forward and achieve our goal. Again, it’s easier to go back to the old way so the hurt will go away.

It’s easier to criticize someone when they are taking risks, being brave or speaking out, especially when they are doing it imperfectly because they are trying something new.

 

Acceptance as self-evident

“I’ve learned so much about our relationship and we’ve grown closer together. We understand each other at a deeper level.”

Over time the new way of doing things becomes the new normal. Jenny stayed true to herself remaining consistent in her approach, despite the opposition. She let go of trying to be everything to everyone else and was able to step up to become an equal partner in her relationship.

Most of us don’t naturally look inside ourselves to find the source of our discomfort and we tend to look externally for someone else to blame. We become cynical or critical in reaction to this difference and it is often shows up as sarcasm, ridicule or criticism of someone else’s attempt to try something new.

Criticism is often a reflection of the other person’s own discomfort to stay stuck in their comfort zone. They might be feeling jealous and envious of the other person’s decision to create some changes in their life.

Here are some tips for handling criticism:

1. Take personal responsibility for your thinking. Stay in your power and stand your ground. Step back and remind yourself that you don’t have to shrink so that others can feel comfortable around you. Choose to be courageous. Don’t let outside noise cause internal interference. Remember, we all have equal value, worth and dignity. No one is better, bigger or superior to anyone else. It’s just ego that makes it so. Focus on your truth and what is important for you. Have faith in your intuition and believe in YOU. Leave the emotional stuff behind as this energy will keep you blocked.

2. It’s NEVER about you – Criticism is always about the person who is delivering it. The source of the criticism is with the person making that criticism – You are not the source. Opinion is just information based from the other person’s map of the world and not from your map. As you step up to do things differently others will criticise you. It’s going to happen. It’s okay. Those who are closest to you may have stronger opinions. Opinions can be driven by the other person’s fear, envy or worry. These feelings from loved ones can feel very personal if we let them in.

3. Re-decide – remind yourself of your WHY and in the face of criticism, get clear again. Learn how to teach other people how to treat you. Make being authentic your number one goal. Stick with it and allow your courage to overcome any fear. Don’t let fear rule you and your decisions, just because somebody has challenged you. People WILL push up against you – especially when you’re doing something different. Make decisions from where YOU want to be. Learn to rescue yourself and step back in alignment with your vision every day.

4. Accept that everyone won’t like you – Some people will like you some won’t. We can’t please everyone all of the time.

5. Set a time limit – Allow yourself space to work through the pain and dis-comfort. Talk it through with someone you trust. Set a time limit to dwell on it then, reframe the situation, focus on what you’ve learned, remember that it’s NOT about you, and let it go.

 

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