Category: Mindset

How to Stop Being AVERAGE – Develop YOUR own Potential

By , June 6, 2013 2:32 am

Road to Nowhere“If you plan on being anything less than you are capable of being, you will probably be unhappy all the days of your life.”

~ Abraham Maslow, psychologist

Did you know that most of us only use a small percentage of our ability and never reach our full potential? We settle for an average life, take average jobs with little desire to stretch out of our comfort zones to explore our own potential beyond our default position. We often fall into our careers and wait for things to happen to us rather than shaping and making it happen for ourselves.

We make excuses to justify why we didn’t make more of ourselves: The time wasn’t right, I didn’t have the money or the opportunity never presented itself. We believe our story and settle into patterns and habits, doing the same things with the same people and the years roll by. Rinse and repeat. Until one day you’re looking in the mirror at an old, tired person and saying to yourself: “What the hell am I doing with my life?!”

We are taught to blend in and follow the path of least resistance. While average feels safe it can also create a sense of unfulfillment – is this all there is? You are dissatisfied with your life or work, but can’t really articulate why.

Have you ever felt dissatisfied and wondered why things haven’t worked out the way you’d hoped? There’s a lot of pressure to follow the status quo. It’s easier to blend in with those around us, using them as pacesetters for our own life.

Here’s how my clients describe what average feels like to them:

  • Plodding along
  • Just getting on with it
  • Mediocre
  • Numb and dull
  • No balls (sorry!) to stand up and do something different
  • Passing the time away
  • Waiting for something to happen
  • Checking out and being lazy
  • Stuck in a rut
  • I should do something about it
  • Maybe next year when… (Insert your own excuse here)

Personally, I’ve never wanted to be average at anything. When I worked in a bank NO ONE wanted an average appraisal. Average meant that you were written off; you had limited value and potential.

My own life continues to be full of stretching and reaching for a new normal, both in my professional and personal life. You have to create some tension to move out of your comfort zone and into uncharted territory if you want to create a new experience and a new normal for yourself. Sometimes it’s scary too.

Creating tension is what gets you going!

Here’s how…

It’s easy to stay where you are rather than to change and take a risk to become something different. The gap between the two seems wide and scary.

It’s a bit like having a back massage, when the masseur finds a knot… they have to apply some tension to increase the flow and flexibility of soft tissues and joints (…and getting rid of all those ‘knotty bits’). You have to do the same if you want to change.

It’s ALL about choice…

Here’s how to step away from average…

Where do you want to stretch? What areas of your life would you like to stretch and create some growth tension just now? How is NOT doing this making you feel? Where are you falling short of your potential?

What’s stopping you? Write down all the reasons WHY you’ve settled for the status quo. What excuses are you using to stay stuck? How are you getting in your own way? What is the story you are currently telling yourself? Re-write your story looking for a positive place to start.

Find the courage. Build your fire within and find the courage to push through your comfort zone – to break through your current mediocre mindset. Let go of things that no longer serve you, step away from the familiar and leave it behind. Explore the unknown and take a few risks if you want to change and grow. This is what life is all about (get a coach to help you)!

Embrace the tension. Lean into feeling uncomfortable. Recognize your growing pains and become your own masseur! It’s challenging to change and you will feel some resistance. Keep growing through it. Remember that any obstacles are the raw materials for your solutions. Create forward motion – don’t cling to the past. Take action in the present and begin to shape your own future today.

Keep growing! If you stop learning, you stop living. You become mentally and spiritually inactive. It’s like you die on the inside. Be curious! Looking forward and taking consistent action will fill you with energy. Create a strategy. It’s the small incremental things that you do each day that make a difference. Don’t take the foot off the gas when you’ve tasted success… Dream Big and go deep!

It’s your life!

Keep Going…Keep Flowing…Keep Growing!

 

 

How to Manage (and Grow Through) Bad Experiences

By , May 22, 2013 5:41 pm

iStock_000006322263Small“Life is not the way it’s supposed to be. It’s the way it is. The way you cope with it is what makes the difference.”

~ Virginia Satir

Life is messy and uncomfortable at times. Things don’t always go to plan. We encounter bad experiences as well as good ones.

For example, you might get criticism from someone that makes you feel raw and vulnerable. The pain feels so real it hurts you to the core. Perhaps you can’t let go of it in your mind, you keep replaying it over and over.

When you’re stuck in the middle of a problem it’s hard to see it as an opportunity. It’s easy to wallow, say woe is me and keep replaying the story of just how bad things really are. You may react to the situation in one of the following ways:

  • Explode with anger
  • Get frustrated
  • Shrink inside yourself
  • Get caught in the drama (…and jump on the pity bus!)
  • Ignore it
  • Cry
  • Blame someone else
  • Freak out and panic
  • Become anxious and obsessed with worry
  • Fear (of failure or being exposed)
  • Discouraged and want to quit
  • Want to run away, change your name and start again!

Why do we react this way?

…Because the pain feels so real, it makes you feel uncomfortable and vulnerable, and if you give it power then it will stop you dead in your tracks.

I came across this quote recently:

“Every problem introduces a person to himself.” ~ John McDonnell.

I LOVE this because I believe whatever you are going through in your life you ALWAYS have the opportunity to grow through it and from it. Every experience unlocks a little more about who you are and how you show up in the world.

Here’s how I see it…

It’s ALL about your attitude towards the situation and how you manage it and pain it creates.

Let me explain some more…

Pain is a great teacher – The pain that you feel when something goes wrong teaches you about where you are just now and who you are in that moment. It’s like looking at yourself through a mirror – It’s a gateway to a deeper level of self-awareness.  If you can hold up a mirror (or have a coach hold it up for you) there are some great lessons to be learned. How you handle the experience you are having defines whom you become and influences the ultimate outcome.

You are NOT alone – The truth is that life is messy! Yes! Shit happens! Life is full of ups and downs. We all experience both negative and positive times. You can’t avoid it – It’s just a natural part of life and an essential part of being human. No one enjoys or wants to have a bad experience. Know that this moment will pass and you will move through it and beyond it.

Lead your way through – How we handle the problem defines us and determines whether we settle and survive or create and thrive in our lives. You have two choices here: 1) Allow it to hold you back and limit you OR 2) Allow yourself to learn through it and grow. People who are successful often talk about a difficult time and how this was the pivotal moment on their development.

Own it don’t deflect it – Don’t become the victim: woe is me! Take responsibility for moving through and making change. Some people cling on to their story replaying it for everyone to hear. It becomes their excuse for staying stuck. Look for the opportunity in every situation.

Reframe the situation – As a coach, I constantly work with clients who have setbacks and negative experiences. My role is to help them reframe their problems and transition through their pain using it as a catalyst for success. How can you use this situation to unlock your creativity and find a solution? Here are a few prompts:

  • What is the problem?
  • What am I currently thinking about it?
  • How does it make me feel (what emotions are associated with it?)?
  • What am I learning?
  • What do I want the outcome to be?
  • What options are available to me?
  • What support do I need from others?
  • What’s your first step?

Remember there is no destination. Start from where you are right now and see every experience (good or bad) as a place where you can make positive change and growth.

“Keep Going – Keep Flowing – Keep Growing!”

5 Reasons WHY You Can’t Get Things Done…(…And how to deal with them!)

By , March 13, 2013 3:36 pm

iStock_000012995878SmallThe No. 1 common challenge for many of my coaching clients is the problem of getting things done!

Most of us have been on numerous time management workshops and read books on the subject. We know what we should do, but we still can’t seem to apply the strategy consistently.

Having the tools, processes or strategy is one thing…Setting your thinking and programming your inner dialogue for success is another!

Here are the top five reasons for not getting things done that I’ve experienced when coaching and training my clients (Oh! And I’ve observed a few of them in myself too!):

Overcomplicating things – It’s easy to become overwhelmed and create a complex strategy for something that is relatively simple. If you have too much to remember: doing this, not doing that and worrying about the other, then you become anxious and worn out and nothing gets done. You’ll look for other distractions.

You keep a complex plan in your head – You add to the problem by trying to keep a complex plan in your head. Relying on your brain as a storage device to remember EVERYTHING doesn’t work! Have you ever thought you’d remember stuff, then when you’ve gone back to it later, you can’t remember the detail and have to start all over again?

“I’m just not very organized…” This label is an excuse to give you permission to stay stuck. The reality is that you are VERY organized at being UNORGANIZED: You are following entrenched old habits and patterns. They just take you to a negative outcome. You’re just organizing the wrong things! See the pattern here? You may feel out of control, perhaps your emotions have taken over.

Quality of your inner dialogue – If I say to you: ‘Don’t think of the colour blue…’ What do you do first? You think of blue before you decide not to think about it! So if you’re saying to yourself: ‘I mustn’t forget to…’ you are programming yourself to forget! This is known as a bad command in NLP (Neuro Linguistic Programming) terms. If you repeat this to yourself, you are likely to forget! You are focusing on forgetting rather than remembering!

You are too busy to think about it – You are stuck in the ‘do-do’ of doing and don’t take time to think something through to decide how you might do it differently. You wallow in procrastination. Thinking seems too easy to do so you resist or you perceive that it’s not a valuable use of time.

Here are some potential solutions:

1. Clear out the mental clutter – You can over-plan and over-strategize. So step back and get rid of the clutter. You might have far too many steps in the process, or you’re going into too much detail.

  • Lighten the load by simplifying your process.
  • Place high value on simplicity!
  • Look for an easier route. You have to choose the right strategy for the situation.

2. Get out of your own way – Are you fighting with yourself, getting caught up in drama and creating feelings that are sabotaging your progress? Notice what is going on inside – write it down. You don’t have to put so much pressure on yourself.

  • Become organized at being organized!
  • What needs to change?
  • What would being organized look like for you?
  • Lose the label and dump the excuse of being unorganized.

You can do this!

3. Change your language – Listen to your inner dialogue. Are you giving yourself bad commands? Remember if you’re saying to yourself: ‘Don’t forget to call Jenny.’ You are actually saying: ‘Forget to call Jenny.’ You are more likely to forget! Change the quality of your inner dialogue by turning it around to something like: ‘I will remember to phone Jenny today.’ Give yourself commands in a positive way.

4. Make time to think it through – Allow thinking time! Use visualization as a tool to set your mind for success. See yourself making the call to Jenny:

  • What are you saying?
  • When are you calling her?
  • Walk this through in your mind several times.
  • Then take action straight away to make it happen.
  • Make a post-it note and keep it in sight so this call is your mental radar today.

You are re-training your brain to get things done. Simple strategies work well. Think simple!

5. Attitude changes everything – To change your thinking you need to change your perspective towards the situation. The situation IS the situation, it doesn’t change – you are wherever you are right now. If you know that this is something you should do, then change your attitude towards it. This is what is holding you back.

  • What would it be like to be in control or on top of this situation?
  • What are you doing?
  • What are you saying?
  • How are you acting?
  • How will you feel when you’ve completed it?
  • What difference will it make?

Having a coach can help take responsibility for getting things done.

Clear out the rubbish in your current strategies for getting things done, stop fighting yourself, listening to your negative inner dialogue, and getting lost in the mountain of steps in your process.

Simplicity is everything! Look for a more effortless path and don’t be so hard on yourself!

 

 

 

 

 

How to be YOURSELF – Even when talking to important people!

By , February 27, 2013 2:34 am

Be Yourself“Leadership is not about holding on to territory, it’s about letting go of ego, bringing your spirit to work, being your best and most authentic self.”

~ James A Autry, The Servant Leader

Why are people sometimes so afraid to be themselves?

One of the key principles of self-leadership is the importance of being you.

However, some of us hide who we really are and instead present an image of how we think the other person wants us to behave in the hope that we will be accepted or liked.

I see this happen a lot in business, especially when leaders are stepping out of their comfort zones to play a bigger game. In corporate you might be attending a meeting with senior managers. As a business owner, you might be meeting an influential client or someone who is a role model and you feel star-struck to work with them.

Whoever the person, it’s easy for us to feel small, unworthy, inferior, or of lesser value. We perceive them as being so much more important and fall to pieces in these situations instead of being our normal, confident and articulate self…

Our internal thinking has a huge impact on our confidence and self worth. Our social and parental conditioning is against us being authentic and over time we have created rules, such as:

  • It is disrespectful to disagree with our elders, seniors or those more important than us.
  • Only speak when you are spoken to: We are taught what to say, when to say it.
  • Who you are is shaped by those who have influence over you. (You hand over your power to them.)
  • Don’t brag about what you’re good at as it might make other people feel uncomfortable. Push it down… (This is why most of us struggle to talk about our own successes.)
  • You have to be submissive with people more important that you.

Society creates ‘norms’ and we measure ourselves to them. We are under pressure to fit in. So here’s how we respond:

  • You want to keep the peace and hope they like you. So you say what you think they want to hear in order to become a people-pleaser.
  • You believe that your opinion is of lesser value and doesn’t count or it doesn’t matter. You perceive the other person’s opinion is of far greater value.
  • If you challenge or disagree with something, then you’ll be shot down or seen as difficult or negative.
  • You should keep your head below the parapet and blend in.

We live up in our heads most of the time, believing our thoughts to be the truth (you literally are what you think!).

Most of us go through life not knowing who we are or what we want. We settle, survive and keep our heads down. This is easier than trying to be yourself. Being real exposes you to vulnerability and judgment – this is scary.

The perception that someone is more important than you is often based on old concepts of power, especially in business. We try to work out where we fit in in the hierarchy.

True power comes from your personal power as a human being. By building trust and support you naturally attract other people.

Here are some tips on how to be you:

1. STOP WORRYING about what other people are thinking about you. You have no idea what they are thinking. These assumptions aren’t real. They are probably not thinking about you at all! This distraction only makes you get your own way of success. Instead of worrying about what to say, or how you look, focus on your intention for the meeting. Be 100% present for the person who is talking.

2. KNOW YOUR VALUE – Be useful as a leader to those you serve. Know WHY you’re attending the meeting.  Understand the value that you bring. You are there to provide information or  expertise so that others can make an informed decision. You are helping them to understand and make sense of things and prevent them making mistakes: Here’s how I can help you…

3. BE AN EQUAL –As human beings we all have the same worth and dignity. We are all equals no matter what role we play. See yourself as a consultant, not as a sub-ordinate. Let go of ego (theirs and yours) – it’s a distraction. Understand that some personality styles are different to yours. They package their language in a different way. It’s normal, not personal.

4. ALWAYS BE YOUR REAL SELF – Be the same person at home as you are at work… because you are! Be your authentic self – It’s who you really are. You have the same values whatever role you are playing. You already know how to interact with people at other levels – This is no different – Just be YOU. Find the language to help you say what you want to say.

5. FIND THE COURAGE to be you. Learn to listen to your heart as well as your head. People want an honest opinion, not ‘lip service.’ Be authentic and respond assertively, even if it is a difficult message. Remember, you are just talking to another person – we are all the same.

Be the person YOU want to be… from today!

It’s really okay to be YOU – Take yourself to work!

 

How to Stop Yourself Going the Wrong Way…

By , February 13, 2013 11:46 pm

“The best thing about the past is that it’s over. When people don’t deal with the past as if it’s over, then they’re not free to go into the future.”

~ Richard Bandler – Make Your Life Great

Throughout our day we are constantly talking to ourselves – Yes, THAT voice in our head, the one who seems to be sat pulling all the levers in the control tower of you!

I’m constantly reminded about the awesome power of language and how it influences who we are, what we believe and how we show up in our lives.

One of the great masters, who I once had the honour of learning from, is Richard Bandler. I was reminded of his work this week as I was coaching a client who was struggling in her mind to move away from the past and towards a new future that she was defining for herself.

She’d decided on a direction of where she wanted to go, but the voice in her head kept subconsciously sabotaging her thinking and taking her on a road trip back to her past, rather than to the future where she wanted things to go. Also, the close family around her was saying: “You’ll never change, you’re set in your ways!”

When we set a goal and decide to make a change in our lives our conditioning and internal language is still set on the old default pattern that got us stuck in the first place. As our unconscious thoughts travel down the neural highway, we find ourselves suddenly back in that old place where we used to be and we’re stuck once again in the past:

“History is repeating itself…”

“Here we go again…”

“It must just be the way I am, I’ll never change…”

I love using the metaphor of our neural highway being like a busy motorway or freeway. You can almost see the blur of taillights flowing past you at great speed. It feels overwhelming and fast… Before you know it, you’re in the wrong lane and you’re turning down that old piece of road again:  All routes lead back to the past – your old behaviour and patterns of language and beliefs.

We get caught up in old thoughts and loops that no longer serve us.

As my client spoke, her words made me realize that she was going into a behavioural loop; she was becoming anxious and started to become self-deprecating. She became once again, the person in her past rather than the person she now wanted to be.

I asked her to STOP and BACK UP…

This broke the chain… These words opened her to a deeper level of thinking.

We explored her thinking and how it was making her feel. She was frustrated that she was still going down the old road and not catching herself in time. She then described where she wanted to be with passion and enthusiasm.

Then she got clear – She knew exactly what to do…

She decided that this was the last time she was going to take this route. So she mentally installed a ‘Wrong Way – Go Back’ sign on her neural highway slip road (on-ramp) before the entrance of the old highway she was unconsciously turning onto.

She is now watching her language and paying attention so when that old thinking comes along, she has a conscious system to STOP and BACK UP so she doesn’t go the wrong way. She’s now able to follow the new signage of where she wants to go:  Happiness ahead. Better relationships – next exit, new career coming – 800 yards!

I helped her create some strategies to back up and reframe the situation, and replace her negative language with positive using the power of her intention.

My client reconfigured her brain with some new language patterns that serve her future and not her past. This shifted her state of mind and made things different so she can keep an eye on where she wants to be. She’s moving forward once again.

The past is what we know and we use it as a compass point, a frame of reference for comparison, whereas the future is unknown. It’s uncertain and we’ve no tangible evidence to support that anything could actually be different or better out there. It’s risky and uncomfortable. But you have two great advocates:  faith and courage, if you choose to take them along on the journey with you.

Creating and following a new route takes time and sometimes a little extra support and direction. It’s hard to do it all on your own. The last thing you need is someone with a clipboard standing over you telling you “you’ll never change or it won’t last long – look what happened last time!”

Dwelling on the past keeps you stuck – You’re going the wrong way!

Some people spend years and loads of money in therapy trying to understand WHY the past happened. My philosophy is that learning and growing (and healing) is all about letting go and taking forward motion. Life is fluid and too short to keep using the past as your navigation tool for the future. Create something new; you’ll be surprised how refreshing and exciting the new feelings are that come your way. It sets you free to go into your future!

Sometimes you need a little coaching support to get you started and change the language in your head. This opens you up to a world of infinite possibility.

What do you want behind you and want do you want in front of you?

Watch your language! How is it serving you right now?

 

 

Do You Know Your Own Value?

By , February 6, 2013 8:33 pm

“Many entrepreneurs make the mistake of thinking that their price is too high when, in reality, the value communicated is too low.”

 ~ Seth Godin, The Bootstrapper’s Bible.

While this quotation focuses on entrepreneurs, I think it’s safe to say that most of us aren’t good at knowing or promoting our own value at work or in our lives.

Most of us don’t know how to market ourselves to others and it’s easy for our strengths and talents to become the best-kept secret in the organization we work for or the business that we’re trying to create. If you’re a business owner, you’re charging less than you should. If you work in corporate, you might be waiting in the shadows hoping that your boss (or someone else) will notice you.

I’ve met leaders and business owners who have amazing talent doing the work that they love. I’ve listened to them play down their own value and dismiss their work almost trying to convince me that they’re not really THAT good or they are just ‘lucky.’

Because what you do is easy to you, doesn’t mean that it’s easy for others. I’ve worked with clients who have felt guilty about doing work that they love and are passionate about. Isn’t work supposed to be hard?

There’s no guilt associated with being on purpose and sharing your brilliance with the world. I see it as your true purpose for being here!

I think some of the challenges around knowing and leveraging our value is cultural. We are taught to play things down because we’re frightened to appear pushy, sound desperate or ‘full of ourselves.’ Our early conditioning might teach us: Don’t stand out – Blend in. So instead, we learn to hide our light and keep our true value a secret locked inside.

Here’s how I see it…

To be successful you have to own your value and brilliance and learn how to communicate it authentically to others.

The most important part of knowing your value is getting out of your own way!

The voice in our head warns us against promoting our value with others because we feel like we are selling ourselves!

This is not true…

You are selling a solution, a different approach, an experience or your expertise and advice. You are providing benefit to others to help them move forward, make change or achieve a successful outcome.

People perceive the value of others directly from the benefits that they can receive from working with them. Think about someone you admire or perceive to have value. What difference have they made to you? For example, they helped you to see something that helped you to be more successful in a situation.

It’s true that you often see a glimpse of your value mirrored back in the gratitude from the people you are helping or serving. I know that over the years my clients have taught me my value, through feedback and gratitude. This is a gift and not something to be pushed aside quickly because we’re too embarrassed to hear it.

My mentor taught me to listen to this feedback and TAKE IT IN…

This helps you to see your value through the lens of others. You start to believe in yourself and get out of your own (Ego’s) way! This is a great gift from those who we serve.

Sometimes it’s hard to know how to value our work, or how to charge people.

Here are a few places to start…

Know your strengths – What are you good at? What do you enjoy doing? Take time to get to really know yourself. Make a list of things that you’re good at – Don’t hold back now! Ask other people to share their observations of your strengths. Start to see yourself in the feedback and gratitude that people share with you. Own it! A great book to get you thinking about your strengths is StrengthFinder 2.0 

You bring more than your credentials – Qualifications can sometimes be important in your work. But it’s not just having the qualification – It’s the application of it! You also bring a combination of your unique experience in the world. In other words, you bring everything you are to your work. One of the best coaches I’ve ever worked with has no coaching credentials. She brings an abundance of experience, intuition, authenticity, passion, and results. She lives what she teaches. This cannot be learned in a classroom. This is life experience!

Share your strengths with others – Walk in your power and own your brilliance. It’s a waste NOT to use the unique gifts you have been given. Through using them you are helping others to be more successful. If they don’t know about your strengths, they won’t be able to find you. You are providing a valuable service by letting others know what you have to offer. You’re helping them get clear and make a decision.  People who stand in their power share why they love what they do… they don’t try to tell you why YOU should love it!

Set your thinking for success – You are what you think and your value and your pricing reflects this to the outside world. So others pay you a reflection of what you think of yourself. Your playing small could be limiting your beliefs and holding you back from promotion or diminishing your value and stopping you charging what you are worth. People who admire you (and a great coach) can help you to see your value in yourself.

I have value do you want some? Remember that you are providing solutions for others, giving them hope, so they can be more successful. You’re helping them achieve more by communicating what you do and offering to help. Validate your gifts and stop playing small. Practice how you communicate this and your message will become stronger and clearer. You are doing a dis-service to others by not sharing what you can help them with.

What value are you sharing with the world?

Doing it Scared!

By , November 15, 2012 2:25 am

“Do you want to be safe and good, or do you want to take a chance and be great?”

~ Jimmy Johnson, Coach – Dallas Cowboys

Fear is a natural element of forward motion.

It’s easy to attend an inspirational event, be surrounded by hundreds of like-minded people and set some challenging and exciting goals. With such inspiration around you how could you fail?

On returning home your goal becomes more challenging because you’re on your own again. The voices of inspiration have been replaced with that one internal solitary voice of fear: ‘Yea…But…’ Your goal suddenly seems bigger and scarier than ever. The mountain is suddenly much steeper to climb and fraught with danger because:

• You’re opening yourself to cynicism and criticism
• You’re putting yourself out there BIG time
• You’re leaping outside of your comfort zone and exposing yourself
• You’re taking some risks that go against your natural instincts to be safe
• You’re going to face roadblocks and challenges along the way

Here’s how one of my clients described their fear of success. She starts with the Possibility of Success:

[Possibility of Success>>Fear>>Procrastination>>Suffocation>>
Reset myself>>Possibility of Success]

Fear is such a powerful emotion and causes us to back track and question our original decision. We begin to wallow in procrastination and we are suffocated by self-doubt and excuses NOT to get started. Hesitancy creeps in as we loop around in our circle of fear making worry and anxiety more intense. Each cycle youreset yourself smaller as your power is dissolved away.

This is where most people stop…Road closed!

They divert to take an easier route, a half-way compromise, or they put their goal (and dreams) back on the shelf. They back down and tread carefully through life avoiding any dis-comfort.

You can break out of this cycle.

Here are some things we know about fear…

Fear is Biological and linked to our fight and flight mechanisms controlled by our Lizard Brain. Our Lizard warning alarm will sound when we step out of our comfort zone, feel uncomfortable or perceive danger ahead. Our brain cannot differentiate whether the threat is physical or mental. This legacy still remains as part of our make-up when our bodies go into red alert.

Fear Exists – Acknowledge this and recognise it as just a natural part of the process of forward motion. Most of the good stuff in life involves taking some risk. Risk brings opportunity to learn and grow. Fear doesn’t mean give up! It’s part of the process of success. Make your unconscious roadblocks conscious and begin to recognise what is coming up for you. You can then develop strategies for dealing with it.

Fear Creates Objections Why You Shouldn’t Do It – “I don’t know how I’m going to get new clients!”Or the voice in your head reminds you only about what you’re giving up: “It means that I’ll not have a company car anymore!” or “I might lose all my savings.” Writing these down and consciously knowing your objections allow you to deal with them. These concerns are usually the triggers of your procrastination. You can challenge these and overcome them.

Fear Creates Memories of the Future – Humans have the amazing ability to create memories of the future in our head that feel real. These are a combination of pictures, sounds or feelings. We imagine what the future outcome is going to be like. You create fantasy of becoming a bag lady on the street and create your own internal movie of your self-fulfilling prophecy of doom of how things might play out. As kids we used to use our imagination to pretend we were a super hero or our favourite characters on TV. We’d act out scenarios believing to be these people. Hmm… Interesting how the adult mind uses this same ability to project so much negativity! The movie in our head isn’t real. Replace those memories of the future with your vision and dreams. Re-align to your goal and view things differently.

Fear Makes the Wall Look Bigger – When we hit a roadblock it’s easy to become mis-aligned. You step out of congruency with your goal. After all it’s scary doing something bigger. So it’s important to check in with your intention every single day. Claim back your power to make things happen. Get back up and re-align to your WHY. Ask yourself: “What have I learnt here?” Then step back in fully – over and over again. Keep going tweaking things that don’t work along the way.

To overcome fear you firstly need to be able to recognise and name it. Remember, fear is just a natural part of the process to success.

“Progress always involves risk; you can’t steal second base and keep your foot on first.”

Frederick Wilcox

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