~Martha Beck, Author and Coach – Finding your Own North Star
We all have moments when we feel like quitting… I’ve certainly had my moments when I’ve felt like giving it all up, throwing my laptop away, and getting a job in a tea shop (I could happily spend my days serving cups of tea and chatting to customers. Blissfully avoiding any responsibility!).
How many times have you felt like giving up, throwing the towel in and running away to start a new life or career?
Who said life was easy?!
Things that we are learning can take longer than we’d anticipated and we get frustrated because we’re not seeing the pay off for all our hard work and investment. There are times when things get difficult and we struggle with loss, uncertainty and doubt.
Quitting is always an option, especially you’re faced with what seem like impossible challenges.
Here’s the thing…
There is a difference between TALKING about quitting and ACTUALLY quitting…
One involves THOUGHT, the other ACTION.
The truth is that EVERYONE FEELS like giving up at some point. We all hit roadblocks that are hard to get around:
- You’re scared to begin because you might fail.
- You’re riddled with uncertainty and doubt – especially when things become murky or unclear.
- You’re questioning whether you were really cut out for this after all?
- You’re feeling like a dumb-ass for giving up your well-paid job to go it alone and now no one’s knocking at your door for your services!
- You’re repeatedly asking yourself WTF am I doing?!
- You have more excuses for not carrying on than reasons for carrying on
- You’re questioning the answers the Universe appears to be showing you just now!
Fear and doubt are dream killers and in moments of uncertainty, it’s easy to allow them to erode our confidence and win-out. We want assurances on how things are going to turn out, and when these aren’t available we become uncomfortable with taking action. We hesitate, our energy drains away, and up pop the excuses. Avoidance strategies kick in and we skulk back to hide in our comfort zone, waiting for either divine intervention or for someone else to save us!
We stop being successful…
This lack of energy towards your goal reinforces the limiting beliefs that “I’m not cut out for this…” and you become locked into a lack-mindset.
These are the defining moments that make us question and challenge ourselves. You have a choice between Getting Out and Going Deeper in.
Here’s what to do when you feel like quitting:
1. Take responsibility. Let go of any excuses and accept where you are right now. You might not be able to influence what has happened in the past, but you can influence the present and shape future outcomes. Stop blaming others, the recession or the moon being in retrograde! Dust yourself off and get back in the saddle.
2. Get in touch with your passion. Re-align to your dream. WHY do you want to do this? Re-ignite the flame burning deep within you. You CAN do this, but ONLY if you REALLY WANT to. Take time to re-connect and renew your energy. Get giddy about your intention!
3. Get out of your own way. Recognise the voices in your head as naysayers who are not real! Change your thinking because it will change your results. Check the quality of your inner dialogue and only allow space for positive language. Create goal cards or affirmation statements to re-focus your attention. Use the problem as raw materials for the solution. Instead of asking: Can I really do this? Ask “How can I do this?”
4. Be disciplined. An idea will ALWAYS remain just an idea unless you create systems and habits that enable you to take deliberate action. Plan your next step and take conscious step by step action to make it happen. Create systems to help you show up and be 100% present and committed.
5. Get some help. Having a coach as a sounding board and mirror to reflect back your behaviour really helps you to blast through any roadblocks and challenges. Having someone on your side makes ALL the difference and stops you feeling isolated and alone.
Feeling like quitting isn’t a mistake, you are usually on the verge of huge transformation. Grief, silence, emptiness is a gift AND it’s the hardest thing to go through, especially when you just want to run away. It is possible that you are working through your deepest fear right now.
Just so you know, feeling like giving up is a common theme that I come across as a coach, and it’s a great lesson for anyone (especially if you are in business start up).
The danger is that you think it’s easier to go back to what you had before, even if you don’t really want it. Quitting is like giving up on yourself on so many levels, the temptation is to go out and get a job or not go for that promotion.
What I’ve come to realize is that there is NO GETTING OUT; when I feel like this I have to walk DEEPER IN. These feelings aren’t the enemy. I am usually being broken open for transformation (Upleveling).
In these situations I always feel vulnerable and uncomfortable, but getting out is never an option. Vulnerability and fear has a way of peeling back the bullshit and getting you closer to the core of who you are. As you let go and things fall away, a new deeper level emerges.
Grow into your challenges by Going Deeper into the uncertainly and the unknown. The solutions for success are waiting to be found as you to connect deeper to your authentic self.