Category: fear

Daring to Change? Here’s How to Make the Leap…

By , February 5, 2014 10:21 pm

“Make decisions from where you want to be. Not where you are now.”

~ Christine Kane, Mentor to women who are changing the world.

I remember so clearly the day I handed my notice in to leave my corporate job and begin life as an entrepreneur…

Even though I knew this was what I wanted, I was really scared to hand over my resignation letter because it made it REAL. There would be no going back after I uttered those words: I’m resigning…

I held on to the letter with a vice-like grip before handing it over. It was almost like I was trying to delay the moment… This was the stepping off point for me… The transition point from where I was at that point in time to where I wanted to be.

…And it was all down to handing over one significant letter.

This was the game changer. Everything changed in that moment. I had to start taking myself seriously as an entrepreneur and show up fully as the leader in my life.

It was HUGE and SCARY…

…But it was the BEST decision I’ve ever made!

People who are thinking of making this transition often ask me about my decision to go on my own: Did you worry that it might not work? Were you scared that you might not get any clients? What if you failed?

And yes… I worried!

I actually woke up bolt upright the morning after I had given my notice in with the voices in my head screaming: “WTF have you done? Are you completely out of your mind?! You have a great job here!”  

Any change can be scary because it involves letting go, finding courage, and taking forward motion. You have to take a risk because you don’t know the outcome.

As a frequent traveller on the London Underground, I’m constantly reminded to mind the gap! It’s painted on every platform and there’s an audio reminder before the train doors open and you step off the safety of the platform.

Why the reminder?

Because energy flows where attentions goes! So if I’m reminded to pay attention to the space between the platform and the train and I’ll take conscious action to make sure that I avoid the potential danger of the gap.

I often use the metaphor of Mind the Gap to explain how I bridged the gap and navigate through transition.

Learning and growing into the gap helps you to be the person you want to be NOW. The term Mind the Gap reminds me that if I want to successfully change I have to be mindful of the gap between where I currently am and where I want to be… knowing this and growing into it makes the transition real…

Before I stepped off the platform and onto my train of becoming a business owner, I recognized that I needed to develop a plan of action to enable me to successfully transition from where I was to where I wanted to be.

I call this my Gap Strategy…

Where are you now? Before making any change you need to look at your starting point – Even if feels uncomfortable. GPS can’t work if you’re typing in your destination but it doesn’t know your beginning point!

This involves self-assessment so you can have a clear picture of where you are currently: what you want and don’t want moving forward. What are your strengths, skills and passions? Do you know your value and how to leverage it (not monetary!)?

Where do you want to be? Continuing our Mind the Gap metaphor: it’s also important to understand what train you’re looking to step onto… (and that it’s in the station when you take that step!)This is all about getting clear, developing a vision and daring to dream. What does it look , sound and feel like? You have to become an investigator and do the work to explore your idea and where you want to go with it. Try it on for size! Generate some options.

How do you get there? Well, you have to buy a ticket! In other words: You need to invest time, energy and money in making it happen! An idea remains an idea unless you  ground it by setting a deadline and start moving towards it. You have to pay attention to any gaps in your knowledge, skills and behavior and develop a gap strategy to help you leap over and take conscious deliberate action. What do you need to learn? Who is doing this already? How are you getting in your own way of success?

I’d decided on a clear plan of action and had been implementing my strategy over the previous twelve months. I worked with an awesome coach. Slowly I’d been building my marketability and leverage, learning about being an entrepreneur and living from that place. I was building my list and a client base, while I was still in my day job. I wasn’t perfect but I was fully engaged, committed and aligned my action with my values. I was prepared for my leap across the gap.

The gap finally appeared before me in the moment that I handed my notice in, and I was ready. I was already an entrepreneur. I’d claimed my power and shown up as leader for the last 12 months. I’d already prepared the way, I was now executing my strategy. I stepped over the gap to where I wanted to be.

That final step is often the hardest…because it’s scary to watch as your old life falls away. This final act was the last thing that held me back from the realization of my dream… Yes it was a scary moment but it was exhilarating at the same time!

I knew what I needed to do, I leaned in and made it happen…

I am the “after” of many of my client’s before… If you’d like some help minding and transitioning YOUR gap, drop me an email at info@elainebaileyinternational.com.

 

What Assumptions are YOU Making About Others?

By , December 4, 2013 6:58 pm

What assumptions are YOU making?Don’t Make Assumptions. Find the courage to ask questions and to express what you really want. Communicate with others as clearly as you can to avoid misunderstandings, sadness and drama. With just this one agreement, you can completely transform your life.

~ Miguel Angel Ruiz

As human beings, we all make assumptions and believe them to be true. We can’t help ourselves! We are barely conscious of most of the assumptions we carry with us because they feel so real.

We make assumptions based on our (sometimes limited) observations of the behavior of others, past experience and what we perceive they might be thinking. Through our filters we distort the messages and create labels for the other person such as he or she is no good at…. (sales, managing projects, etc).

You believe this label to be real and start to develop a fixed mindset around it. Sub-consciously you will look for evidence to support your original assumption. In other words, we see what we want to see and hear what we want to hear, filtering out anything that is contrary to our assumption.

Assumptions can lead to misunderstandings and a lack of communication, because you think you already KNOW the answer or understand what is going on. You can also take things personally and feel awkward about a situation so you ignore it, or gossip about it to others while avoiding contact with the person concerned. You are frightened to ask for direct clarification by having a conversation.

Many of our assumptions remain untested, yet we believe them to be true and use them as a benchmark to discount people. This limits their future potential and any possibilities because we’ve already labeled them.

In other words, it’s easy to write someone off, not include them in something, and ignore their potential for learning and growth.

Assumptions are dangerous!

In a business context, one thing that greatly reduces the creativity, performance and growth of your team are the assumptions that you make.

Here are just a few of them:

  • He/she is not good at xxx.
  • It can’t be done.
  • I don’t have the time.
  • He/she is not a sales person.
  • It’ll cost too much.
  • It would take too long to develop.

Believing your assumptions means that you will write people off, often without even having a conversation with them. Your imagination makes things up when you don’t understand something and an assumption is created about its meaning. Finally, when the truth is revealed, you may find you’ve totally misunderstood the whole situation and gotten it horribly wrong.

Here are some of the potential outcomes of making assumptions. You will:

  • Lose trust in others.
  • Become more reactive.
  • Stop the growth and development of others.
  • Miss opportunities.
  • Limit the potential of the team.

We tend to look for mirror images of ourselves in others. We assume that others think and feel the same way as we do and make the same judgments. We imagine the truth and don’t see the reality of how things are or the potential for what could be.

If we take time to understand WHY people behave the way they do, then we can make better judgments of their behavior and possibly prevent ourselves from making some errors of judgment.

Here are a few ways to avoid making assumptions…

Have the courage to communicate when things feel uncomfortable – Instead of avoiding a conversation and sharing your fears with others, have a conversation with the person directly. You may be pleasantly surprised by the outcome! Have the courage to ask the questions and listen to the response with the intent to understand. Suspend your own pre-judgment of the situation.

Look for the potential in others – Don’t write people off too quickly with sweeping statements. People’s potential is unlimited. They may not be good at sales today, but if you give them the tools, opportunity and encouragement to learn, you could help them transform their performance (and your business). Invest time with your people; be open to them growing.

Test your assumptions – How do you know that what you are thinking is real? What evidence do you have? You might be wrong! You could be creating a bottleneck in your business because of your own lack of trust. Help others grow and move forward. Check in on your own thinking and turn it around. For example:

  • What if he/she was good at xxx?
  • I wonder if it’s possible to…
  • What if I created the time to…
  • What if I developed their sales skills?

Be extra vigilant when the relationship is one you know well Most people aren’t telepathic… they don’t know what they don’t know! You might shutdown when things feel uncomfortable, especially around people that you know well. You might assume you know what the other person is thinking so you don’t say anything. Honestly, you have no idea what the other person might be thinking or feeling! If you don’t have the conversation, you might create discomfort and tension and give out the wrong message one that says that you don’t care. The other person can’t read your mind and won’t always understand just because you think you know them well. Find your voice and always establish the truth.

What assumptions are YOU making about others?

 

Lighten Up and Let Go – How to get in the flow of what you WANT…

By , October 2, 2013 7:15 pm

iStock_000012339432Large“Struggle and efforting always means that you are in resistance. As you relax, lighten up and let go, everything begins to flow.”

 ~ Gill Edwards, clinical psychologist and author.

A few years ago, I took a HUGE leap of faith and completely changed my life. I resigned from being an International Learning and Development Consultant and Head of Coaching in a very reputable training consultancy, so that I could develop my own coaching and learning consultancy business full time.

Back then, I had no real idea of how to run a business or market my services, as I’d been an employee ALL of my working life. I had some jumbled ideas on how I could earn a living and grow my business AND I had the support of an awesome business mentor.

Step by step I did it scared, took risks and lived through fear of uncertainty, ignoring the negative voices in my head, who were constantly poking holes in my confidence and offering up daily serving of self-doubt. Where are you going to get clients? Who do you think you are? What if you don’t make any money? What if no one wants to work with you?

Having being used to a regular income and the security of a J-O-B, I remember moments of terror in those early days. I regularly questioned my sanity! Work was a little patchy at the very beginning: I’d get a few clients, then a gap (the gap scared me the most!).

Taking one step at a time with guidance and support I started to move in the right direction. Former colleagues or clients asked me to run workshops or coach their leaders. I knew deep down that I was on the right path. One thing led to another and opportunities started to manifest. As soon as I stopped struggling and efforting to get clients, everything started to flow.

Something had shifted…

I stopped wasting energy on worrying and feeling desperate. I changed my inner dialogue from: But what if it doesn’t… to: How can I… and got to work on making things happen.

This created a profound shift in my energy. Instead of being focused on moving away from what I didn’t want to happen, I focused my energy and thinking on moving towards more of what I wanted.

In other words… I focused on being a successful business owner and NOT being a bag lady living on the streets!

What you focus your attention on grows!

If you start to focus on the things you love doing: what makes you feel good, looking after and appreciating yourself (and others), filling your day with activities that you enjoy and being surrounded by people that you love, you can’t help but attract gifts and coincidences. Opportunities will start to open before you because you are aligning with your soul and your purpose.

Does this mean that you should resign from your job tomorrow if you hate it?!

Absolutely NOT!

…Especially, if you don’t have any other source of income just now!

I didn’t hate my job when I resigned, I’d just simply out grown it. I got tactical and created a plan so I could transition and step into a growing business.

Whatever you want to create… Lighten Up and Let Go – Here’s how to get in the flow of what you WANT…

Set a clear intention – Start getting clear on what you want. What do you want to change? Clarify what makes your heart sing! Examine your beliefs about work, wealth and money.

Relax into what you do now – Most people don’t get clear and then give their job up the next day. There is a transition. So while you’re still in your current role, re-align to what you like about what you do already. Relax into your work rather than resisting it. Your current role is a key stepping stone to whatever you want to do next. Engaging with it will open doors to new opportunities. It helped me to reframe my existing job to become part of the transition.

Watch your language MOVE TOWARDS what you want, NEVER focus on moving AWAY FROM what you don’t want . Re-align your thinking to what you want to achieve. Create a positive focus. Check your language. How do you talk to yourself about it every single day. Shift your energy before taking action!

Don’t worry about HOW it’s going to happen – Trying to FORCE something to happen can actually push it away because you create resistance! Once you put it out there, the Universe handles the details: the when, where and how! You’ll figure it all out as you go along and everything will happen at the right time. You don’t need to know ALL the details before you begin. Timing is all about aligning with your higher self.

Things start to flow – As you grow, you’ll start to notice opportunities open up for you. You’ll meet an old friend out of the blue who can help you. You’ll hear valuable information on the radio. Things start to happen around you and you’ll attract the right people to help you. You’ll get some traction and motivation as things begin to feel lighter and you feel more on purpose.

Lighten up, let go to get in the flow of what you WANT…

 

How to Handle Resistance to Change

By , September 18, 2013 5:59 pm

iStock_000003537689Large

Handling resistance to change is a common challenge for many of us.

As a coach, resistance is something that often comes up for people.

The uncertainty of learning something new can make us feel vulnerable, because taking action tests the boundaries of our own beliefs and can push up against the beliefs of others. You’re leaving behind what you already know to make a transition in a different direction – This takes courage.

Whenever we feel threatened or judged our cells go on red alert and the body floods with adrenaline. All your senses are heightened, you feel mistrustful and on guard. You become defensive and you seek control and security.

It creates self-doubt, procrastination, fear, low self-esteem and even self-sabotage in any aspect of your life. You become defensive and self-protective – seeing the problem as ‘out there’ (external).

Your Lizard brain kicks in for self-preservation. You shrink into fear-mode. Your negative emotion warns you that you are self-sabotaging your goals and desires. You might become the victim and replay stories from the past to reinforce just how much of a loser you really are. You’re like a deer in headlights. You may withdraw or exclude yourself from anything that feels dangerous or bad.

I imagine resistance as a creature like Gollum in Lord of the Rings! He has long gnarled fingers and lurks around in the corners of your mind feeding off your Lizard brain – that niggling voice in the back of your head making you feel dysfunctional, insecure, vulnerable, disempowered, or unloved: “Who do you think you are?!”

When you are locked in resistance there is no room for growth because your consciousness is constricted. Being afraid of uncertainty and change makes you repeat the same old patterns of behaviour:

  • FLIGHT – Stay external and become a people pleaser trying hard to help everyone else, accommodating others and keeping busy. Coaches are very good at coaching others instead of looking for someone to coach them through their own resistance.
  • FIGHT – Blame, criticize, attack, control or manipulate others seeing them as wrong.
  • FREEZE – Spin your wheels, withdraw, don’t let anyone in or close down so that you can feel safe. Collapse into a coach so they can ‘fix’ you.

All three options keep the problem at arms length: external.

There’s no room here for creativity. Suddenly failure becomes an option and you’re really scared.

Resistance can kill your goals and dreams and destroy your confidence all at the same time.

The truth is that EVERYONE has THAT voice (Gollum) in his or her head in the same way that everyone breathes. Resistance is natural and part of your human defenses.

If you’ve grown up with this then, according to Stephanie Mills (author), the more protection becomes an habitual way of being: you look out for threats, then attack, defend or close down. It feels like family!

Resistance is just testing your resolve. It’s part of the process. Here’s how to handle resistance to change:

1. Awareness – That you actually created your own resistance. You are getting in your own way. Eckhart Tolle says that: “awareness and ego cannot co-exist.” Self-awareness encourages your authentic self to be at the centre of your experience. Recognising that you are in resistance can help you to release it. You can override it at any time by taking conscious action. You get to choose whether you stay stuck or not.

2. Are you operating from fear or love? We all have the capability to act from either of these two states of awareness. Both are built into what I call your ‘Fizz’ (physiology) and psychology. Where are your thoughts operating from:

  • Protection or growth?
  • Closing down or opening up?
  • Judgment or acceptance?
  • Control or trust?
  • Old habits or new ideas?
  • Criticism or appreciation?

You get to choose!

3. What’s your WHY? – Getting clear on your intention or goal can dissolve any fear associated with your resistance. Reconnect to your passion and draw energy from it by answering the following two questions and use these as your touchstones as you’re working through:

  • WHY do I want to do this?
  • How badly do I want to succeed?

4. Fight resistance with assistance! Get some support from like-minded people. A coach can help you to recognize your resistance and help you to challenge and overcome it. Being in the presence of encouragers is so important when you’re trying to create new mindsets and results.

5. Accept that things go wrong – You can’t always prepare for and sometimes things don’t work. There’s a difference between quitting and feeling like quitting. Failure means that we are growing – it’s all about learning. You get to figure it out. Work the problem to create your solution.

The more important your call to action, the greater the sense of resistance you’ll feel. It’s a natural part of life.

When you run from uncertainty, you’re actually running away from your life. If you want to create anything be it a business, a career, making a difference with your clients resistance is part of the journey… Consider it as growing pains!

 

Why are you constantly working long hours and feeling exhausted?

By , August 28, 2013 2:31 pm

Man chained with office table (workplace) 2“Remember this: Burnout is not a crisis of time, it is a crisis of spirit.”

James Autry – Author.

In my role as a coach I notice the working habits of my clients as they share their working world with me. There is no difference between the habits of a corporate employee or a business owner: the patterns are the same. Most people are working too hard and the balance between work and personal time is sometimes non-existent.

There’s too much to do, not enough hours in the day and you’re unfocused because you’re getting splattered and distracted too easily.

You know you need to prioritize, etc. Most of us know what we should be doing. The main issue is actually a deeper one and while time management principles might help it’s important to also address the cause.

Let me explain…

If you don’t have some balance in your personal time and your work, then I can guarantee that you won’t remain productive for very long. I’m sure you have proven this to yourself in the past (I have for sure!). Overwhelm or burnout is waiting around the corner. You’ll soon start to make mistakes and become exhausted.

I’ve noticed that a lack of balance causes burnout in a couple of ways:

1. Obsessed with work – Nothing else in your life matters. Everything revolves around this. Work becomes the priority and you find reasons to work and excuses for avoiding any other activity such as creating personal time or family time. You become addicted to work and you feed off this stimulus. Burnout is when your relationships fail and your health becomes a problem because you’re not paying attention to the basics.

2. Overwhelmed by work – Workloads become so much of a burden that you lose all sense of any meaning or value in your work. You become disillusioned both on a psychological and emotional level, that you feel trapped and stuck. “Is this all there is?” You feel pretty miserable and exhausted.

Most successful people are dedicated, hard working and conscientious and there are times where you have to burn the mid-night oil or work through the weekend to get something done. This is perfectly okay and normal. There is a significant difference, though, if this is happening all the time and it is relentless.

No one is productive for 7 hours a day. So you’ll be even less productive if you consistently work 12, 13 or 15 hours a day (Research has proven this)!

So if this is happening there is a problem that needs addressing.

Here are some questions to ask your self:

  • Why are you constantly working long hours and feeling exhausted?
  • Are you really being productive in all these hours you are working?

If the answer is…

NO - You may be working long hours and staying late at the office, but without any real focused activity. This is a self-related issue.

  • You may be using your work as an excuse to hide from other activities such as an unhappy (or no) personal life.
  • You might not know what to do with yourself when you are not working because you’ve gotten out of the habit of relaxing and enjoying hobbies, interests, family and friends.
  • You have become addicted to work.
  • You may be dis-organized and need to practice some self-management principles consistently.

Get some support to help you learn and consistently implement some self-management principles, get focused, set some boundaries and begin to create a personal life for yourself outside of work.

If the answer is…

YES - If you are being productive in all the hours you’re working, then this is telling you a different story because this is a job-related issue. Here are some things to consider:

  • You have too much to do!
  • The structure of the job itself needs to be reviewed because it’s impossible to achieve everything in regular hours.
  • You may have become a people pleaser saying yes to everyone else and no to you.
  • You’re trying to do everything!
  • You think that saying no to extra work is a weakness.
  • You are not realistic about what you can achieve.

You might need some support to help you learn how to delegate or outsource aspects of your role, get some hired help, set some boundaries and learn to be more assertive and say no. Review the role it’s not realistic.

I used to work in an organization where the managers defined dedicated hard workers as people who worked consistently long hours. This is a false delusion because you won’t accomplish more because you’re not able to be as productive. The quality suffers and you’ll make mistakes.

If you manage people, then role model balance to your team if you want them to be more productive and focused. You can’t expect them to do one thing, but you demonstrate another.

Check in on your working habits and do one thing today that helps you to create a healthier balance between your work and business life.

 

Big Boys (and Girls) DO Cry! How Your Emotions Can Make You Smarter…

By , August 21, 2013 10:13 am

Big Boys don't cry“Crying can make you smarter.”

Nancy Kline – Author

I was talking with a manager who admitted that he struggled when one of his team started to get emotional and cried. He wasn’t sure how to react; it made him feel uncomfortable, and he just wanted them to ‘get over it’ and get their control back. He’d find himself over talking and saying anything to try to stop their reaction. This didn’t make him feel good.

It’s funny how we label crying, anger, and even fear, as being out of control.

If you watch other people’s reaction to someone crying at work they might panic, look uncomfortable, or start talking and smother them with their own concern. This reaction is more about them and wanting the other person to stop, rather than about the person crying.

Our society is scared of tears, anger and fear. We just want it to stop. We think that the pain will go away if you just stop it!

Here’s a recent real life example…

I was watching a Mother at Tescos supermarket yelling at her 3-year old child who was crying because she couldn’t sit in the cart. The Mum grabbed her child by the arm and shouted: “Big girls don’t cry – Just grow up! Stop it! You’re a bad girl and you’re embarrassing me in front of all these people!”

I had to walk away from this…

The Mother was teaching her child to repress her emotions and push them down. The child was learning how to become acceptable. Of course, the little girl sobbed even more because of her Mother’s reaction.

We have been taught to pull ourselves together, not show our weaknesses, and we are encouraged to stop showing our emotions.

Here’s the thing, though… Our emotions are there for a reason.

When we get upset (angry, scared or tearful) our thinking stops. Human beings minds are designed to get logic and thinking back if an emotional circuit breaker kicks in. Expressing your feelings, e.g. talking your anger out with a friend on the phone, can be enough to restart your thinking.

Crying is a natural process to rid the body of pain and upset. It’s completely natural and a healthy way to release toxic energy that has built up inside us.

Myths and bad advice that our parents and teachers have taught us:

  1. Crying increases the pain – So if you want it to stop – STOP crying!
  2. Being angry means that you’re out of control – You need to control your anger. Anger is a bad thing – no one should be angry EVER! Stop being angry and your anger will go away.
  3. Being scared is a weakness – You need to toughen up and be more confident. Just stop shaking and you’ll not feel scared.

Stopping this natural release makes the pain find another route to flow. It is absorbed inside you, where it goes underground. Holding this in can cause pressure, anxiety and even physical illness if the issue is held down long enough. These built up feelings churn around inside you and block your thinking.

Here’s my response to the manager who was struggling…

If someone is crying at work it could be for many reasons: frustration, sadness or even because of a paradigm shift in their thinking that has had a profound impact on them.

In that moment, their emotions trigger in to release the energy; they need to cry because in that moment they can’t think. It’s the same with being angry or scared…

Allow and hold space for this to happen for a few minutes.

In those few minutes, they don’t need your platitudes or smothering with words.

  • If they are angry – Let them just talk it out. ALL you have to do is LISTEN. Don’t try to reason with them. Don’t jump in there and agree – you’ll make things worse! Ask them: what is it that is making you angry about this?
  • If they are crying – Let them cry and just sit with them (don’t do anything!). They may cry because they are frustrated and unable to think. This will pass sooner rather than later, if you don’t stop them.
  • If they are scared – Let them talk through their fear. Sometimes just articulating their fear and sharing it reduces its power. Again, all you have to do is LISTEN.

Hold space for them and act as if it’s perfectly okay and normal (because it is!). Give them your respectful attention.

Observe what happens…

They will recover in a short space of time and their thinking will re-engage. You don’t need to over compensate by thinking for them and rambling out loud!

It’s natural for people to occasionally get angry, cry or say that they are frightened. Allow safe space for this to happen and you’ll observe how quickly people can recover from their emotion and think more clearly afterwards.

Next time you’re feeling angry, sad or frightened, give yourself permission to allow your emotions out rather than keeping it all inside and pushing it down.

BIG Boys (and Girls) DO Cry!

 

Getting Over Rejection

By , August 14, 2013 6:25 pm

iStock_000009159104Medium“Every time I thought I was being REJECTED from something good, I was actually being RE-DIRECTED to something better.”

~ Dr Steve Maraboli

I remember PE (Physical Education) at school when the teacher would select two kids to pick their basketball team alternatively from the class. We’d all sit there waiting (and hoping) to be selected by the person doing the picking. It was an intense moment and quite soul destroying if you weren’t picked until last. The feeling of embarrassment stayed with you for the whole lesson (and probably adversely affected your ability to perform).

If you look back at your own life I’m sure you can recall times when you’ve been rejected for things:  a promotion, a job, a project, a team or even dumped by your latest boyfriend (or girlfriend) when you personally thought he (she) was THE ONE!

In the moment rejection can feel devastating.

Most of us would feel uncomfortable sharing our past rejections and failures – we keep them to ourselves because we’re frightened that we’ll be judged by them or people will think less of us. Instead, we keep those memories locked inside and only replay them in our head when we have self-doubt or uncertainty in the present.

Here’s the thing, though… We seem to forget that this happens to EVERYONE!

People get rejected and turned down all the time.

There are countless stories of courage and persistence in the public world to reinforce this. I read that Kathryn Stickett, the author of the The Help, was rejected 60 times by publishers. She went on to become a best selling author and got a film deal that ultimately won four academy awards!

Getting over rejection is a painful but a normal part of growth on our journey to success. As one door appears to slam in your face, another will open up before you. You have to dig in to find the courage to continue forward motion through your vulnerability and any letdowns.

Most people give up at this point and succumb to their limiting beliefs because they get stuck in discomfort and self doubt.

Here are a few ways to keep momentum and stay true to your goal:

1. Re-connect to your WHY. Take a little time to rest and regroup. Remind yourself of your WHY and in the face of self-doubt, get clear again. Refocus your attention on WHY you want to succeed. What will your life (or your business) look like, sound like or feel like? Allow courage to overcome any fear. Don’t let fear rule your decisions, just because somebody has challenged you. People WILL push up against you – especially when you’re doing something different. Learn to rescue yourself and step back in alignment with your vision every day.

2. Be prepared to do it scared! Live life on the EDGE… of your comfort zone! When you are growing and putting yourself out there, you are constantly challenging yourself:  stretching out of your comfort zone to create a NEW NORMAL. Stretching takes courage and tenacity because things can feel uncomfortable and it can be a little scary.  Get comfortable with uncomfortable. Choose to be courageous. Don’t be distracted by external noise – stay on course. Focus on your truth and what is important for you. Have faith in your intuition and believe in YOU.

3. Protect your confidence. This will keep you grounded and centred. Stop listening to those voices in your head because they aren’t the truth. Develop a deeper understanding of your emotions, strengths and limitations. Recognize how negative patterns can feel overwhelming and cause you distress. Let go of any emotions that are holding you back. I find journaling very useful for this. Start to recognize your own emotions and their impact. Take personal responsibility for your thinking.

See obstacles as opportunities as you navigate your journey. Rejection is just a container for growth. Inside it holds a powerful lesson that if released will make you stronger, determined and more successful.

Be honest with your feelings in the context of your work and be open to your doubts and fears. This vulnerability is a powerful learning tool if you can be open to it.

Remember… there is no destination!

Keep growing!

 

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