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By elaine, March 28, 2012 6:27 pm

“Bad meetings, and what they indicate and provoke in an organization, generate real human suffering in the form of anger, lethargy, and cynicism. An while this certainly has a profound impact on organizational life, it also impacts people’s self-esteem, their families, and their outlook on life.”

~ Patrick Lencioni, Author

Have you ever attended one of these?

“I could get my work done, if I didn’t have to go to so many pointless meetings!” ~ John, a coaching client. He went on to summarise that most of the meetings he attended were unfocused, lethargic and boring, but a necessity of business life.

I can remember attending many meetings in my corporate life that were frustrating and pointless. Yet I was told that had to endure them because it was part of my job.

I remember a low point once where ‘Fun’ was listed as an agenda item and we were actually forced to ‘enjoy’ a team game as part of a meeting. Have you ever pretended to have fun? – It’s counter-productive. If you ever get to this stage you need to step back and explore WHY you’re contemplating this as an agenda item in the first place. It might be because of some of the reasons below…

Why are meetings so painful and unproductive?

…Because they are! – Acceptance that part of the process of doing business involves the tedium of attending meetings. You have to go through the ritual of attending to get the job done. Many people believe that meetings are bad in every company so it’s just the way it works in business. Brace yourself and just get on with it! We’ve got used to hating them!

Lack of ownership – Participants attend with the mindset that it’s something that is done to them rather than taking RESPONSIBILITY for the role they play and how to get the best outcomes. Mediocrity and complacency sets in. You show up because you feel you have to. You’re a silent observer and the meeting becomes passionless and dull.

Little or no leadership – Ineffective meetings happen because of the approach and attitude of the people leading them. The leader models and influences the attitude and approach of those attending. Sometimes it becomes a forum to exercise the ego of the highest ranking person in the room. The focus is lost as individuals drift off-piste to satisfy their own agenda or because they’re bored! Participants aren’t sure of their role: should I be debating? Discussing? Brainstorming? Or listening?

Boring – If you had nothing else to do with your time, I’m sure you wouldn’t want to spend it in a dry, tedious un-engaging meeting with some people that you might not even like that much! Sitting and listening for long periods of time to uninspiring content is monotonous. Every one moans that it’s boring – but no one does anything about it. It’s a ritual to attend every week. People are scared to give an opinion or challenge – so they sit like nodding dogs. Poor decisions are made as a consequence. Awkward situations are avoided by staying quiet, nodding where appropriate and writing your weekly shopping list!

No structure – The regular staff meeting is a classic example of this. Weekly? Monthly? Where everyone gets together for an unfocused random discussion about everything! There’s little clarity about topics and there’s no context for discussion. Individuals literally check out.

Pressure and anxiety – Most people have loads of other things to do. Attending a bad meeting only amplifies the anxiety and pain. Focus on the meeting is lost and you start thinking about how you could use this wasted time. If it’s a conference call – you’re probably multi-tasking doing your emails at the same time! You’re not used to sitting still and doing just one thing at a time so it’s easy to get distracted.

Recognise any of these?

Harvard Business School a few years ago claimed that over 50% of meetings are a waste of time…

Here’s the thing…

It’s possible to make meetings compelling, engaging, interactive and productive. It starts with changing the mindset of those attending and involves a little re-thinking on how to manage them effectively. Here are some of the benefits: Better decisions, improved morale, shorter time away from your desk, better results and increased value.

Which meeting would you rather attend?

(More tips soon on how to make meetings engaging, interesting and productive)

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By elaine, March 21, 2012 9:10 pm

“My life is one long obstacle course, with me being chief obstacle.”

Jack Paar.

I’ve come to realise that learning and success is NOT about doing more.

And often, the one key thing that gets in my way… is me!

Growing is about taking action towards your goal and completing things.

I started working with a new client this week (Jenny). She began our session by describing how disappointed she was with the progress of her year so far. She blamed constant interruptions for her lack of productivity (on reflection, she realized that none of these were necessities, just bad habits, a lack of boundaries and not being selective – we’re now working on these together).

Jenny’s great plans for the year had all fallen away since January. She’d not made any meaningful progress and was back telling the same story she’d been telling everyone last year: how unfair everything was and feeling sorry for herself that she had no time to make anything happen.

Then she started ‘should-ing…’ Her conversation was peppered with “I know I should be more…”

It’s difficult to be fully present and focused on what’s important when you have many demands on your attention. You become distracted by the noise of interruptions and it’s hard to get BACK ON TRACK.

These distractions can become valid excuses (an alibi) for not achieving your goal. Over time your goal remains an idea as things begin to fall away.

Jenny was exerting a lot of effort and energy to maintain her alibi and at the same time she was creating self-imposed disappointment and grief. Her alibi had become more attractive than taking what was perceived to be a more difficult path towards achieving her goals. She put extra demands upon herself and baled out with excuses instead of taking action.

Most of us are undisciplined in our approach and it’s easy to become distracted and unfocused. When we’re under pressure we move out of our left-brain – logical thinking, into the right brain - emotive thinking and it’s difficult to be rational from this place.

Here’s how to make meaningful progress and get BACK ON TRACK:

1. Re-align to your goal - Get clear on WHAT you want to achieve and WHY you want to do it. Write down your intention and keep this in a place where you can see it regularly.

2. Stop avoiding – Decide that you’ll no longer use excuses to keep you from your goal. Look out for convenient excuses that have taken you off track in the past. Do something that you’ve been avoiding today! Write down your excuses and turn them around with an action step instead, then go make it happen.

3. Not interested in the easy way out – Let your sub-conscious know that you’re no longer taking the path of convenience. Be your own cheerleader and congratulate yourself for having the courage and determination to move into feeling uncomfortable. Be open to making difficult choices rather than the usual easier ones. This is how you’ll create success.

4. Create a process - Write down what needs to be done. Create a system or process for things to happen – one step at a time. The only way you’ll be successful is to have a plan and follow the plan. What is the next step? Have discipline to follow the steps one at a time, as this will create momentum.

5. Take conscious action – Take small action steps consistently and make it a habit. Consciously check in weekly with your progress and schedule dates and times in your planner to keep things moving – little and often.

6. Get some support – Shifting habits and creating new ways of working requires discipline and persistence if you’re determined to achieve your goals. In other words – You have to do the work! Hiring a coach is a great way to invest in your success. A good coach provides a high level of support and guidance to help you get BACK ON TRACK as you get clear, claim your power, take action and create new outcomes in your life and work.

NOW is the time to get Back on Track, re-align with your dreams, get strategic, and start to make things happen!

What’s your next step?

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By elaine, March 21, 2012 9:25 am

“Eliminate the time between the idea and the act, and your dreams will become realities.”

~ Dr Edward L Kramer, inventor of ‘Synchromatics’

This morning I went to the gym and nobody was there, all the crowds that were once there are gone. I guess the New Year novelty has worn off! People are back to their usual.

Are you going to let this happen for you?

This is one of the most depressing things for me as a coach, as I see people have these visions and dreams, then they all fall away.

When you’re a leader, you’re a leader of your own life and part of that is to recognize when things are starting to slip into the cracks, when you’re going back to your old habits because you know, elaine, we all go back to our old habits.  I go back into my old patterns of finding a million other things to do rather than what I said I was going to do! You might go into the drama!

Once back in our old habits we stay stuck and our dreams are relegated to our wish list.

So I want to offer you a coaching opportunity to help you get Back on Track, so you can re-align with your dreams, get strategic, and start to make things happen.

I’m offering a limited number of spaces in my Back on Track special. It’s an opportunity for you to work with me as your coach for 8 weeks (plus a few extra goodies!).

CLICK HERE to get the details and join me for some weekly support as you start to make some awesome changes in your life. Also the first five people who sign up will get an extra month’s coaching for FREE.

This Special offer ends Saturday (March 31) at midnight GMT!

Have a Brilliant Spring!

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By elaine, March 14, 2012 4:36 pm

“Your capacity to GROW will determine your capacity to lead. If you get too busy with your job to grow, your influence and your leadership will stagnate and ultimately evaporate.”

Ken Blanchard and Mark Miller, Authors

Some people have a static view about their business. They have great ideas and then get lost in the ‘do-do’ of doing the work. This is known as working IN YOUR BUSINESS.

When you only work IN YOUR BUSINESS you become boxed in. You’re so focused on doing the work day after day that you forget something really important:

Your business only evolves and grows if you evolve and grow.

Stagnation destroys a business – Growth is critical for success… But some people have an opposite view and develop a fixed mindset reinforced by their own limiting beliefs: “This is how it is…”

People who work IN THEIR BUSINESS tend to focus on WHAT needs to be done. When they become overwhelmed they try to change WHAT they’re doing, but they are limited because the nature of the work IS the work!

The uncertainty of “not knowing” causes fear and doubt because they want assurance that it’s all going to turn out okay. They have no control over their workloads and are frightened that clients will either all flood in all at once or there will be a drought.

Here’s how you know if you’re Working IN YOUR BUSINESS

You’re an order taker. You’re just focusing on doing the work. You’ve forgotten your passion. You may have left the corporate world and set up your business doing what you were doing for an organisation – now you’re doing it for yourself. Here lies a paradox: Some entrepreneurs run their businesses with an employee mindset rather than evolving the mindset of a business owner.

No strategy – just delivery. You have no real clarity or vision for your business. It all centres on your products or services and getting the job done. No strategy or thought goes into it. You work reactively to what seems to be urgent at the time and have no systems, structures or support mechanisms in place to help you.

Not enough hours in the day. You’re already so thinly spread there is hardly enough time in the day to get everything done. You have no one to delegate to, so how could you possibly have any time to step back and grow? You’re too busy doing it all! You have created a limited ceiling and can’t go any further. Your only option is to work harder and you feel that you are reaching your limit.

You don’t invest in your growth. You’re trying to do it all on your own without any support. You’ve not developed your leadership skills to run a business. You take advice from your friends or family who have never been in business!

Leaders with a growth mindset are constantly working  ON their BUSINESS…

Here’s how you know if you’re working ON YOUR BUSINESS

You focus on the HOW. If something isn’t working you look at HOW you do things. You don’t fundamentally change the nature of WHAT you’re doing. You focus on HOW you’re currently doing things and create new systems to help the flow. You have processes and practices that streamline your activities and save you time.

You know your high value work. You have clarity, vision and purpose: You know WHY you are in business. You’re moving towards more of what you want rather than moving away from what you don’t want. You’re clear on your High Value Work and focus your time and energy on these activities. Low Value Work is automated, delegated or deleted. You are selective.

You work to a schedule. You know what you’re doing BEFORE you sit down to do it. You have a weekly schedule and work to it. You have standards and boundaries in place so that time doesn’t hemorrhage away. You schedule time for marketing, personal growth and for being creative (your genius work!).

You’re in the business of marketing.You understand the value of marketing and have created CONSISTENT stay-in-touch strategies with your stakeholders, clients/prospective clients. You’re building relationships and networking online and offline. Marketing is EVERYTHING if you want a successful business leader. It’s part of your weekly plan.

You surround yourself with like-minded people. You invest in your own personal growth.  Your learning and growth is a CONSISTENT strategy. You network and mastermind with like-minded business people. You have a coach to help you understand and develop your marketing, leverage, mindset and skills as a leader.

Successful leaders are always growing and changing. Working ON your business gives you a whole new approach to productivity, business and lifestyle. You create a balanced approach to your whole life.

Are you working IN or ON your business?

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By elaine, March 7, 2012 8:02 pm

“The difference between success and failure isn’t the absence of fear but the determination to pursue your heart’s desires no matter how scared you are.”

~Martha Beck, Author and Coach – Finding your Own North Star

Sometimes I feel like quitting!

The last time was a few weeks ago after my cat died suddenly. I’ve had three deaths in the last six months and was getting sick to death of death! I’d reached the “WTF!” stage. I felt like giving it all up throwing my laptop away and getting a job in a tea shop. I could happily spend my days serving cups of tea and chatting to customers. Blissfully avoiding any responsibility!

How many times have you felt like giving up, throwing the towel in and running away to start a new life or career?

Monthly?

Weekly?

Daily?!

Life isn’t always easy. There are times when things get difficult and we struggle with loss, uncertainty and doubt.

Quitting is always an option especially you’re faced with what seem like impossible challenges.

Here’s the thing…

There is a difference between TALKING about quitting and ACTUALLY quitting…

One involves THOUGHT the other ACTION.

The truth is that EVERYONE FEELS like giving up at some point. We all hit a roadblock that’s hard to get around:

• You’re scared to begin because you might fail
• You’re riddled with uncertainty and doubt – Especially when things become murky or unclear.
• You’re questioning whether you were really cut out for this after all?
• You’re feeling like a dumb-ass for giving up your well paid job to go it alone and now no one’s knocking at your door for your services!
• You’re repeatedly asking yourself WTF am I doing?!
• You have more excuses for not carrying on than reasons for carrying on
• You’re questioning the answers the Universe appears to be showing you just now!

Fear and doubt are dream killers and in moments of uncertainty it’s easy to allow them to erode our confidence and win-out. We want assurances on how things are going to turn out and when these aren’t available we become uncomfortable with taking action. We hesitate our energy drains away and up pop the excuses. Avoidance strategies kick in and we skulk back to hide in our comfort zone, waiting for either divine intervention or for someone else to save us!

We stop being successful…

This lack of energy towards your goal reinforces the limiting beliefs that “I’m not cut out for this…” and you become locked into a lack-mindset.

These are the defining moments that make us question and challenge ourselves. You have a choice between Getting Out and Going Deeper in.

Here’s what to do when you feel like quitting:

1. Take responsibility. Let go of any excuses and accept where you are right now. You might not be able to influence what has happened in the past, but you can influence the present and shape future outcomes. Stop blaming others, the recession or the moon being in retrograde! Dust yourself off and get back in the saddle.

2. Get in touch with your passion. Re-align to your dream. WHY do you want to do this? Re-ignite the flame burning deep within you. You CAN do this but ONLY if you REALLY WANT to. Take time to re-connect and renew your energy. Get giddy about your intention!

3. Get out of your own way. Recognise the voices in your head as naysayers who are not real! Change your thinking because it will change your results. Check the quality of your inner dialogue and only allow space for positive language. Create goal cards or affirmation statements to re-focus your attention. Use the problem as raw materials for the solution. Instead of asking: Can I really do this? Ask “How can I do this?”

4. Be disciplined. An idea will ALWAYS remain just an idea unless you create systems and habits that enable you to take deliberate action. Plan your next step and take conscious step by step action to make it happen. Create systems to help you show up and be 100% present and committed.

5. Get some help. Having a coach as a sounding board and mirror to reflect back your behaviour really helps you to blast through any roadblocks and challenges. Having someone on your side makes ALL the difference and stops you feeling isolated and alone.

The grief that I was going through wasn’t a mistake I was on the verge of huge transformation. Grief, silence, emptiness is a gift AND it’s the hardest thing to go through, especially when you just want to run away. I was working through my deepest fear – Loss.

What I realised was that there is NO GETTING OUT, I had to walk DEEPER IN. Loss wasn’t the enemy I was being broken open for transformation. I felt vulnerable and uncomfortable but getting out wasn’t an option. Grief has a way of peeling back the bullshit and getting you closer to the core of who you are. As you let go and things fall away a new deeper level emerges.

Grow into your challenges by Going Deeper into the uncertainly and the unknown. The solutions for success are waiting to be found as you to connect deeper to your authentic self.

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By elaine, February 29, 2012 5:53 pm

“Anything worth doing well is worth doing badly in the beginning.”

Marshall Thurber, Business Consultant.

Sometimes when we’re learning something new we feel awkward, very conscious and uncomfortable. We want to be perfect straight away. We might give up (or not even begin!) because we’re not willing to pay the price of putting extra time in to break through the awkwardness.

Success is all about persistence, practice, discipline and sacrifice.

My Dad taught me how to drive. I got my provisional driving license on my 17^th Birthday. The day after, I had my first driving lesson.

The first time I sat behind the wheel of a car was an amazing experience. It was a dark January evening and I was so excited. Although I’d never driven before, I’d eagerly watched my Dad drive and learned the theory of driving from the passenger seat.

That night I drove almost perfectly, changing gears with confidence as if I’d been driving for a while. It was amazing! When we arrived home my Dad proudly told my Mum that he thought I was a ‘natural’ and I’d easily pass my test!

After this lesson I thought that driving would be easy.

The next time I got in the car I was crap! For the next month my driving sucked! I was nervous, grinded the gears, mounted the curb and my confidence was soon reduced to zero. Learning to drive was overwhelming it seemed that there was so much to think about and do all at the same time.

I’d NEVER pass my test… I dreaded my lessons.

I was so frustrated. I’d driven well before, WHY couldn’t I just do it again?

I was frightened of making mistakes and compare myself to THAT first lesson when I drove really well – I didn’t want to learn how to drive anymore! The memory of that experience started to destroy my confidence.

Here’s what this experience taught me about learning:

1. Give yourself permission to feel awkward – In order to learn something you have to give yourself permission to do things badly, screw up and be imperfect. Understand in advance that this is an essential part of learning and accept that this will happen sometimes as part of your learning journey. Let go of trying to be perfect and let yourself feel awkward. It’s okay! There’s a kind of innocence about it.

2. Competence = Confidence = Control – You have to pass through the feeling awkward stage before you start to develop some competence. Practice, patience and persistence help you to develop your competence. Competence allows you to feel more confident and feeling confident ultimately allows you to feel in control of the situation. You have to work through all three stages of this cycle and as you continue to learn, these elements become stronger. 

3. Create Momentum – You have to be willing to show up on a bad day as well as a good day. You have to keep going despite looking silly or feeling very conscious of how stupid you feel. After a while competence kicks in and the awkwardness falls away. Persistence is the key!

Allow yourself permission to feel awkward…

It can be quite liberating!

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By elaine, February 22, 2012 7:43 pm

“Doing something unimportant well doesn’t make it important!”

Tim Ferriss

Have you ever closed down your email box on an evening only to find a half written reply you started earlier that day? You totally forgotten about it because you were distracted by something else, that took you to a different place!

The reality is that we have so much to do and it’s very easy for us to get distracted. Our attention is splattered; we lose focus and become too thinly spread over a wide surface area of things to do.

Where exactly does your Attention go?

Here are four ways we get distracted.

1. Everything is URGENT – In his book: The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People Stephen Covey describes the difference between two main factors that define an activity as IMPORTANT and URGENT.

URGENT – These actions and activities are often bright, shiny, attention grabbing objects that are in your face! They jump up and down and say ‘Hey! Look I’m here! Do me NOW!’ They might be things that you enjoy doing such as any excuse to make a coffee, checking the Internet or going Facebook. It might be checking your emails and getting sucked in to responding to each one, instead of what you’d planned to do that morning.

IMPORTANT – is all about your Intention – Actions and activities that move you towards your goals and priorities.

Here’s the thing…Urgent doesn’t necessarily mean Important.

Urgent grabs your attention because it’s louder and what’s important can become drowned out by the noise.

Defining these can really help you to recognise when you’re becoming distracted. You can re-focus your attention onto what’s important.

2. Over complicating stuff – It’s easy to over complicate something and get sucked into too much detail because of panic or you perceive the thing to be such a huge deal. We can get caught up in the drama.

A few Years ago, I started creating a tele-seminar: “Are You in Business or in Busy-ness? Four Ways to Get Your Life Back on Purpose.” I unconsciously got sucked into the detail and wasted time creating some beautifully visual mind maps for the call. It was an audio presentation and no one was going to see them! Because it was a big deal, I made it so big in my head that I added more Busy-ness to it than I needed to.

3. Avoiding things - Are you inventing things to do to AVOID what’s important?

I used to be the Master of avoidance in my life. Rather than address an unhealthy relationship with my partner, I focused on traveling, rescuing more cats, studying for a Masters Degree and becoming a School Governor for our local Primary School in the village where we lived! I was distracting myself from the real issue: the relationship. I added more stuff to my life to keep me busy. None of these activities would ‘fix’ the relationship. They just distracted me.

4. Lack of clarity and direction – When you become distracted your attention scatters because you lose focus of your Intention. You take unconscious action (or inaction) because you become lost and confused. You lose control and feel that everything is imposed upon you. You settle and survive and accept things as they are. You stay stuck.

What’s distracting you?