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By elaine, May 16, 2012 5:12 pm

“There’s nothing that can ruin a schedule, suck up more time, sap more energy, and otherwise cause more chaos and problems than travel, so you must take many proactive steps to protect yourself – and your time – as best you can.”

Dan Kennedy, Businessman, Author and Speaker

Travelling can be exhausting!

I’ve travelled extensively for business for the last 10 years. At my peak I averaged more than 250 days a year on the road. I decided to enjoy the experience, as it was such a huge part of my life.

For me, enjoying the journey is as important as enjoying the work when I get there. Once I’ve checked in at the airport or packed the car I’m excited to be embarking on the journey. Travelling is tiring and sometimes frustrating and it’s easy to get out of balance.

My approach to any business travel always focuses on two aspects:

1. Travelling from A to B as effectively as possible
2. To be as productive as possible while I’m there

Today I have created a business that has allowed me to reduce my travel schedule – It’s a lifestyle choice. I travel less but still use the following tips that helped me to survive during those intense travel years!

Here are some of them:

Get organised – Planning is key. My business trips are busy, but organised so I can be as productive as possible without burning out. (I learned this the hard way!) You have to be disciplined in your approach if you want to be effective.

Book in advance – Book hotels, flights, car rental and accommodation in advance –Doing it last minute is stressful!

Know WHY you’re going – Get clear on your intention for the trip. What are the outcomes you’d like to achieve? WHY are YOU going?

Maximise the time while you’re there – I look for opportunities to be as productive as possible enroute and while I’m in town. I try to plug in meetings with clients or contacts. Joining the dots of a trip makes you feel more in control.

Pack two days before – So you’re not running around like an idiot and realising you forgot to buy stuff. Last minute packing is stressful. I’ve still been packing at 2 am before leaving home for a 5am start – Duh!

Plan any work you intend to do – If I’m flying or on a train I decide what work I’ll do as I travel and for how long. It’s amazing what you can get done if you think about it in advance!

Catch up – Planes and trains (especially on a long trip) are great places to catch up on reading and learning. I always download audios for flights.

Relax and snooze – Travel is tiring. Step away from working and allow yourself time to relax, watch a movie or snooze. It’s okay to do this! Plan time to rest on an evening and times in between the working day. It’s easy for boundaries to bleed away when you’re staying in a hotel… You just end up working ALL the time!

Thinking time – I love flying because you get alone time where you’re free from interruptions and distractions. Allow your mind to relax and wonder… I’ve had ideas for blog posts, workshops and even solved a pressing problem or two!

Get to the airport in good time – If you’re flying, that is! So you have time to check in and relax before the flight. I usually use the business lounge to relax.

Avoid travelling in the rush hour – Avoid arriving or leaving in the rush hour. This is a time sucker and I’ve sometimes missed my connections.

You don’t have to be first on board – Some people like pushing, elbowing and fighting their way to be the first on board a flight. Fly business class if possible – it’s less stressful.

Book a driver instead of a taxi – Pre-booking a pick up sedan service is only about £10 extra and you miss the queues at the taxi rank! The drivers are courteous and helpful. The cars are well looked after and clean too (it also stops you being ripped-off!)

Self-care all the way – I used to be the queen of timezone surfing, with little or no effect on me. As I’m getting older I’m finding that I need time to rest and recover, especially when it’s a long haul trip. Allow time for this, especially when you’re surfing timezones! Exercise and stretch during travelling. Use the hotel gym. I usually go there as soon as I arrive – just for 30 minutes to shake off the effects of travelling (unless it’s midnight!).

Drink plenty of water – Your metabolism changes at altitude so the effects of drinking alcohol is heightened when you’re flying. Avoid this if possible because it makes you feel sluggish and kills your productivity. I drink loads of water to keep hydrated as I travel.

Eat healthy – It’s easy to snack and eat junk food when travelling. Again, this can effect your well-being. Look for salads and healthier options. Make time for breakfast. I increase my intake of natural herbs and remedies to keep my immune system smiley and any travel bugs at bay.

Get some sleep – Set some boundaries so you get a chance to catch up on your sleep and go to bed early. It’s tempting to stay out late every night because you’re frightened of missing something – this is exhausting! It’s okay to say ‘no’ and get some rest. You’ll be more effective… Trust me!

Power down smart devices – I frequently watch business people using their phones constantly as they travel. Endless phone meetings are exhausting especially as you’re trying to board a plane! Sometimes our ego takes over to make the call look important! Power down the phone, check it occasionally – don’t let it control you.

Happy travels!

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By elaine, May 8, 2012 5:22 pm

“I’m embarrassed to admit that I was the cause of many of my interruptions. I didn’t realize that I was opening the door and allowing them in! On average I was being interrupted about every 15 minutes… No wonder I was working a 75 hour week! I’ve now learned how to fight back.”

John, Senior Manager and Client

I started coaching John two months ago when he was constantly staying late and working weekends trying to keep up with his heavy workloads.

He felt overwhelmed, out of control and extremely tired.

As we started working together, I realized that his workloads weren’t impossible. So why was he overwhelmed and unproductive?

The constant interruptions were distracting his concentration and killing his productivity…

Here’s what John realized:

• He was inviting interruptions throughout his day because he was accessible to everyone all of the time.

• He was at the mercy of other people’s phone calls, emails, demands and agendas that interrupted him constantly.

• He relied on extra time to do HIS work: early in the morning before work or after work when he was most productive because no one else is around!

• His day was filled with distractions and followed this pattern: start-stop-start-stop-start-stop-start-stop-start-stop-start-stop (No wonder he was exhausted!).

John could see a pattern of how constant waves of noise and other people’s demands were eroding his productivity. Even casual conversations broke through any pockets of productivity. He’d get distracted and then find it hard to concentrate back on the task. John worked out that he was only being productive 2-3 hours each day! No wonder he was staying late or working into the evening!

Here’s the thing…

There are many reasons for interruptions – 95% of them are not necessary.

Here’s how to fight back and stop interruptions impacting on your day by protecting your Zone of Productivity…

1. Work alone. If you’re always being interrupted then you’re constantly mind shifting between tasks. It can take up to 20 minutes to get back into your Zone of Productivity. It’s difficult to focus on what’s important and you end up wasting time. Book a room. Go to a coffee shop (That’s where this article was written!). Work on important things away from any distractions.

2. Limit your access – Stop being ‘nice’. If others ask questions and you’re always there to answer, they don’t have to think for themselves. You teach others to rely on you. Let them figure it out and make the decision. Your accessibility reduces their productivity as well as yours! Teach people how to treat you. ‘Open door’ policies are admirable but they are not practical ALL the time! Create and communicate some ‘closed door’ time too so you can get important things done.

3. Role model productivity – Leadership is NOT about how many hours you work! You don’t have to be available ALL the time. Nor do you have to be first to arrive and last to leave! Get clear on your High Value Work and schedule time to get this done. Be selective, set boundaries and let people know when you’re not available. Leave work on time at least three days a week.

4. Turn off communications – If you’re scheduling time to work alone on a project, then turn off all communications with the outside world: phones, SMS, email etc. It’s easy to become distracted by device addiction. You get to choose when you answer YOUR phone and emails. Don’t teach people that you’re available 24/7 – it’s not realistic!

5. Set a timer – People will steal as much time from you as possible and some like to talk because it’s better than working! Signpost how much time you have available at the beginning of a phone call or meeting and stick to it. If a person needs longer then they can schedule an appointment with you. Doing this helps keep the conversation focused and on track and keeps interruptions to a minimum.

Decide to be productive and fight back against interruptions. You have more control than you think.

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By elaine, May 2, 2012 9:14 pm

“Our culture celebrates the idea of the workaholic. We hear about people burning the midnight oil. They pull all-nighters and sleep at the office. It’s considered a badge of honor to kill yourself for a project. No amount of work is too much work!”

~ Jason Fried and David Heinemeier Hansson

Workaholism is TOTALLY UNNECESSARY and can destroy your physical and mental health.

It’s a nasty cultural disease – You don’t know it’s happening. Over time you’re consumed with an intoxicating addictive drug called work.

How do I know?

I used to be one until I crashed and burned out… That was my wake up call!

In the last seven days I’ve heard three real-life scenarios from coaching clients who have had their staff:

1. Rushed into hospital with heart problems
2. Signed off sick with a stress-related illness
3. Sobbing at work not being able to cope with the long hours and extra demands on them.

Workaholics are alive and well and breeding at an alarming rate in the business world.

We can delude ourselves into believing that by working all hours we are the model worker and that promotion is just around the corner…

The reality is that you WILL ultimately crash and burn. That promotion or pay raise may not materialise. Even if you think you’re coping okay now and your body is resilient. You might be creating long-term damage that will manifest itself later and even shorten your life.

Some organisations rely on breeding workaholics to get the job done at whatever cost. They stand by and watch as their employees burn out, caring little about anything except for getting the job done.

Here are 5 delusions of a workaholic…

1. I’m keeping the boss happy – If your boss is allowing you to continue to work endless hours and expects you to respond to his/her emails at the weekend, evenings and while on holiday, then they care very little about you as a person. You’re just resource to get the job done. Did you teach your boss to expect this by allowing it to happen? You’ll ultimately drown in your own unrealistic expectations of yourself.

2. I’m a hero – Workaholics perceive that they are the heroes of the business. Super human beings who regularly save the day! You don’t look for ways to be more efficient because you feel like a hero: What would THEY do without you? (Seriously…They’ll find some other sucker!) You talk about how tired you are and how little sleep you get with pride. The number of hours you work becomes a game of comparison and competition instead of focusing on how productive you are!

3. I’m better than others – Your ego feels superior over others who only work regular hours. Those people who don’t stay late feel inadequate because they work reasonable hours. They feel guilty because they get to go home on time and have a life. You are unknowingly creating poor morale in those around you by your behaviour. If you’re the boss others may feel obliged to follow your role model. You grind everyone into exhaustion. This isn’t clever – it’s stupid!

4. I accomplish more – The truth is that workaholics don’t accomplish more than anyone else. They just work more – usually to the detriment of their personal life. Research has proven that constantly working longer hours and less than six hours sleep per night makes you ineffective – FACT!

• The longer you work the more chance you’ll make mistakes because you’re tired.
• It’s okay as a one off but it’s not sustainable. When the burnout comes (and it will) it hits you much harder, possibly with serious side effects.
• Fixing a problem by throwing more hours at it isn’t the solution. You lose concentration the longer you work.
• Your decision-making ability is impaired and you lose focus of what’s important.
• Your emotions are evoked and you may say or do things out of character.
• Things take more time to achieve

5. Successful people work long hours – Most people work longer hours occasionally. Successful people live to their values and have balance between their working and personal time. They set and maintain boundaries so these don’t blur into each other. Workaholics don’t know when to stop – They are driven by perfectionism and attention to detail.

The real hero is the person who has learned how to be productive during the day and get things done. They are the ones who are at home on an evening relaxing, living their life and not being all consumed by WORK.

Don’t let WORK be your life…

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By elaine, April 25, 2012 5:49 pm

“Do not go where the path may lead, go instead where there is no path and leave a trail.”

 ~ Ralph Waldo Emerson

When I decided to start my own business I was fired up and ready to go! I bought all the books my mentor (and other people) recommended and signed up for numerous online programs and packages.

Then I drowned in an ocean of self-help modules and leadership resources! I felt overwhelmed and scared because I  had so much stuff to learn. I had no plan so the  learning tools gathered dust on a shelf as I got busy doing coaching and trying to be successful!

My personal development stopped. I’d get stuck with some of the basic business challenges because I wasn’t growing. Others around me seemed to be growing faster and getting more success, this hurt!

Here’s what I realized…

Buying learning won’t help you to learn – You have to READ and APPLY the tools consistently! This is where most of us fall down.

I was trying to grow my business without growing myself.

This also applies if you work in the corporate world. You get promoted and take on a leadership role and there’s a whole new set of responsibilities placed on you!

Whether you work in corporate or for yourself, one of the minimum requirements of being successful is your ability to grow. The “Future belongs to learning.” Active continuous personal development separates the successful from the mediocre… and the gap between the two is wide!

Here’s my personal development success formula…

You have to INVEST in yourself on three levels:

1. Invest money (I was good at buying the books, mentors and resources!)
2. Invest time – (I didn’t invest the time because I was too busy doing!)
3. Invest attitude - (I invested in a growth mindset and take my personal development very seriously)

All three need to be present…

I know individuals who have ignored these and it has destroyed their careers by developing fixed mindset and  relying purely on status, ego and past experience to solve future problems. Learning is seen as a weakness by these people!

If you stop learning, you stop leading. You stagnate and you will fail.

Successful people invest time, money and attitude in their own personal development and it pays off.  They take learning seriously because they recognize its real value.

Here’s how to grow your own success from the inside-out:

1. Start from where you are now – You may have loads of resources backed up. Just choose ONE! Commit to working through that one resource, then move onto the next. Begin today.

2. Read for an hour a day – Wake up an hour earlier each day and read each morning first thing. If you do this 5 days a week – that’s five hours of reading! Just think how many books you could read in a year and the advantage you would have over your peers! Make notes and apply one thing you’ve read during the day (Start with 30 minutes and build up. Turn the TV off and read for an hour each night if you ‘don’t do’ mornings!).

3. Listen to audio books on the move – I listen to learning while I’m working out at the gym! I find the gym boring! Now I learn as I workout and time flies by. I make a few notes back in the changing room! You can also listen as you drive, fly or take the train!

4. Have an ATTITUDE for learning – Is your passion and commitment for what you do greater than any inconvenience in timing or travelling? I travel thousands of miles for my own personal development it’s not always convenient – I look beyond discomfort because I’m passionate about being the best I possibly can be. Get out from behind the convenience of your computer and look beyond the discomfort of travelling! Take your personal development seriously – Mean it! Activity seek out specific events and trainings that will help you grow. Group learning can expand your mindset and your skillset. Go to the source of the expertise and learn from the best if you want to be the best!

5. Plan your personal development time – Schedule dates and times for each week and show up! Look for opportunities to learn – Carry a book or IPad with you! Read while you wait for appointments (Instead of wasting time on Facebook!).

6. Apply what you learn – Reading is only a small part of the process. Growing involves USING what you’ve learned and is critical for success. I know hundreds of managers who have read: The Seven Habits of Highly Effective People by Stephen Covey, but only about 15% have actually applied any of the content to their life.

7. Work with a mentor – If you want to run a million pound business, then you want to learn from someone who has first hand experience and can provide wisdom, intuition and support. Working one on one will help you to: stay focused, be accountable, keep your commitment and create the discipline and persistence to make things happen.  A coach or a mentor can help you to maximise your potential and be the best in your career or business.

Are you passionate enough about your success to seriously  INVEST in your personal development?

How much do you REALLY WANT to be successful?

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By elaine, April 14, 2012 5:25 pm

“Resistance is a repelling force. It’s negative. It’s aim is to shove us away, distract us, prevent us from doing our work.”

Steven Pressfield, Author

Resistance is a challenge for everyone from time to time.

I’ve helped my clients work through resistance when it has created self-doubt, procrastination, fear, low self-esteem and even self-sabotage in their business, projects or home life.

Resistance is a powerful nasty beasty!

I have been on the receiving end of it many times in my own life.

Resistance can kill your goals and dreams and destroy your confidence all at the same time.

It’s a powerful enemy within that feeds off your Lizard brain – that niggling voice in your head that says: “Do it tomorrow instead.” Or “Who do you think you are?!”  It turns positive momentum and hope into stone.

The truth is that EVERYONE has THAT voice in his or her head in the same way that everyone breathes. It’s natural and part of your human defenses. But that doesn’t mean it’s always right!

Resistance holds you back, throws you off course and won’t let go until it takes your ideas and goals and destroys them – you give up.

Perhaps you’ve started a business or you’re working on a project…

You get into a rhythm when good things are happening. You achieve momentum and everything flows. It’s like the Universe is pulling everything together and things are moving at a fast pace. There’s a quickening as things unfold for you.

…Then you hit the wall. Something happens or goes wrong. You lose confidence, despite being two-thirds through the project and the end was almost in sight. You’ve invested so much in time, energy and not to mention money, then it all feels like it’s slipping away from you.

Panic sets in as the tide turns, you feel out of control and can’t stop it. Your confidence drains away as the voice in your head returns to tell you that you’re not cut out for this and you’re the biggest loser in town.

Suddenly failure becomes an option and you’re scared. What was fun now feels very dark.

You can’t negotiate or reason with resistance because your inner Lizard is working overtime.

Resistance isn’t the end – though sometimes it can feel like it! Resistance is just testing your resolve. It’s part of the process. You can get through to the other side.

Here’s how:

1. Recognise your enemy – Resistance is self-created. It’s noisy and feels real but it’s not the big monster you might perceive it to be. Recognising this is extremely important.  YOU always have the power of free will. You can override your resistance at any time by taking conscious action. You get to choose whether you stay stuck or not.

2. Reconnect to your WHY – Your passion is like an antidote. It can de-solve any fear associated with your resistance. Reconnect to your passion and draw energy from it by answering the following two questions and use these as your touchstones as you’re working through:

WHY do I want to do this?

How badly do I want to succeed?

3. Remember it’s just part of the process – Resistance is just part of the journey: First you have an idea – then you have resistance – then you create a system or process to work through it and take consistent action.

4. Get help – Fight resistance with assistance! Help yourself by setting up a daily ritual or system that gets you into the habit of showing up and taking action. Create affirmations or goal cards and look at them regularly to visualize success. Sometimes it feels harder because you feel alone. Enlist help from others who have experienced what you’re experiencing now. They can guide you through.

5. Accept that things go wrong – You can’t always prepare for it but shit happens! Sometimes things don’t work. There’s a difference between quitting and feeling like quitting. Failure means that we have to grow – it’s all about learning. You’re compelled to figure it out. You are presented with the raw materials for your solution. Work the problem to create your solution.

6. Hang in there – Completing is not for the faint hearted. Yes it takes hard work and stamina to finish. There might be many obstacles along the way. But all the hard work is for nothing if you don’t show up to finish. This sometimes requires extra energy and drive to see it through and it’s the most difficult bit – but it’s worth it! Sometimes you have to reach in for that extra bit of courage.

Resistance invisibly thrives when self-sabotage, self-doubt, low confidence, procrastination, and fear takes hold. The more important your call to action, the greater the sense of resistance you’ll feel. It’s a natural part of life. You can hide from it and hope it goes away, or consciously work through it.

You ALWAYS have a choice…

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By elaine, April 11, 2012 4:50 pm

“I care about you. I care about your future. I care about your growth. I’m here to create a climate in which you will blossom and flourish.”

~ Marshall Goldsmith and Laurence Lyons, Authors.

James, one of my clients, is a manager in corporate. One of his many roles is to coach his staff.

Two weeks ago he asked me how to create a coaching environment over the phone. He has recently acquired a virtual team that presented him with communication and time zone challenges. He was worried that he’d not be able to coach his staff effectively.

Here’s what we discussed…

Helping others is a natural human motive and is stronger in some people than others and it’s especially important if you are a coach.

The quality of the conversation is EVERYTHING…

I believe that all coaches are motivated by their ‘desire’ to help others. The above quote summarises this perfectly for me (it’s also an awesome intention to set before any coaching session!). A great coach will authentically communicate this all the time.

(By the way, if you don’t buy into the quotation – You shouldn’t be coaching!)

It’s important to create the right climate and hold coaching space for every person you coach.

What do I mean by this?

Have you ever tried to impose your wisdom onto someone else?!

No matter how hard you try, you can’t change someone else – The other person has got to be open to the conversation and WANT to change.

Sometimes the mention of the word coaching is enough to make someone resist a conversation, especially in the corporate world, where coaching is imposed because it’s part of the manager’s job. This could be for many reasons:

• It feels like it’s something that is imposed and done to you
• There’s a low level of respect for the coach
• The person is resistance to change
• They have a low motivation to learn
• There’s a lack of understanding
• The timing is wrong

Some coaches fail because they jump straight into the coaching and try to drive through their own agenda. This creates lip service and resistance to coaching.

Here’s how to create and hold a safe coaching space:

Before any coaching session:

1. Consider your motives – What is the purpose of the session? What are you intending as an outcome? What do you want your client to do, be or have as a result of your time together? Get clear before you begin.

2. Who’s leading? – Who is driving the conversation? Is the session coach led or client led? Or a combination of the two? If you are the client’s manager, this might influence your approach.

 3. Set the scene – It’s good to have a framework for the conversation. Signposting the way helps put your client at ease because they understand what is going to happen to them during your time together. If the conversation is client led, let them set the scene. What do they want to do, be or have as a result of the conversation?

4. The Environment - Choose a neutral environment, private and away from any distractions – other people, phones and computers.

During the session…

1. Build rapport – Be yourself! Create a natural conversation where the other person can feel comfortable and safe to speak. Set a relaxed and focused tone. Lead the way here. This will naturally guide you to the purpose of the session rather than jumping right in, “so what do you want?”

2. Lose your ego – Strive for authenticity instead popularity! You might be their boss, but you are both human beings and have the same level of value, worth and dignity. The client needs to feel comfortable and that they can speak freely. If you exert your authority as a manager, (or as the coach) then you’ll create an environment of compliance rather than engagement. Create a sense of leadership in the way that you navigate through the session without being controlling.

3. Be 100% Present – Make your client feel like they are the most important person in the room. Let go of your To Do List, emails and your outstanding challenges. This session is 100% about them. So be 110% present for them.

4. Be ‘genuinely interested’ in the growth and success of the person you are coaching. If you’re a manager and you’re coaching one of your team, you also have vested interest in their success – After all, they help you to achieve your goals!

5. Know the balance of when to help and how much to help is also important in the relationship. If the coach doesn’t act in a way that reflects a genuine interest in being helpful then coaching will be unsuccessful.

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By elaine, April 4, 2012 4:27 pm

“Coaching is a conversation, or series of conversations, that one person has with another. The person who is the coach intends to produce a conversation that will benefit the other person (the coachee) in a way that relates to the coachee’s learning and progress.”

Julie Starr, Author The Coaching Manual

It’s impossible for us to learn everything on our own. We sometimes need help and support. It’s great to have a conversation with someone who can be a sounding board or who provokes deeper thinking on a topic or issue that you might be struggling with.

Coaching can be an informal five minute conversation at the water cooler or a formal development session lasting an hour or more. It’s all about helping someone move forward, make some changes and progress towards their goals.

We unconsciously coach people more than we realise. We just don’t label a conversation as coaching. Sometimes it just happens naturally… I’ve coached people in the most unlikely places, at airports, on planes, while having a pedicure, at parties even during a hike!

As an accredited trainer of coaches, I’m often asked: what is the difference between coaching, mentoring and training? New coaches often get hung up on the ‘label’ coaching and worry that they’re not doing it right! Will the Coaching Police track them down if they stray into mentoring or training?!

The term coaching means different things to different people (Trust me here okay?! I spent months at University researching the definition of coaching and there isn’t a definitive answer!).

The reality is that as a coach, you may use mentoring, training and consulting as part of your approach. You are the facilitator of an engaging conversation that creates space for the other person to come up with creative solutions that they hadn’t thought of before. In other words you are helping them to build their own creative fires within.

 Let go of the label and focus on the quality of the conversation!

 The word coaching is often used as a generic term to label the relationship between the two people involved in a learning partnership. It’s rare that anyone uses coaching in its purest form 100% of the time. What’s important is that you are creating a learning conversation that helps the other person to grow or make change.

The only person who determines whether the conversation was actually a coaching one is the person on the receiving end of it!

 Here are ways five ways to recognise when you are having a coaching conversation:

1. The focus is on the other person – It’s ALL about the other person’s current situation or experience.  It’s not about you, your ideas, the story of when this happened to you or your solutions!

2. You are listening more than talking – You are listening, questioning and observing the conversation.  You are 100% present and your focus and attention in on the other person and what they are saying. You are fully tuned into them and what they have to say.

3. You’re helping them describe their current reality – Through your questioning you are helping them explore and describe their reality of a situation. You are facilitating the conversation so they can understand what is going on, recognise any challenges and then begin to generate options to move forward.

4. They are asking you for answers or advice – The other person is looking to you for help. They don’t know what to do. Most people jump in with their advice and tell them what to do. They miss the opportunity to coach!  Create space and encourage them to think it through for themselves, with a few questions from yourself.

5. Your expanding their view of the situation – You encourage others to work it out for themselves through your conversation and discussion. You are helping the other person expand their thinking or view something from a different perspective. You might be holding up a mirror to reflect their own view back to them.

If you’re learning to be a coach these are good reminders of how to show up for your client. It’s so easy to give advice and offer solutions instead of allowing the other person to work it out for themselves with your support. If you’re thinking of working with a coach, these are great characteristics to look out for!

Happy coaching!