“Our criticisms always reflect how we feel about ourselves; they mask our fear that we don’t measure up.”

~ Karen Casey, Author

We’ve all criticized someone else and while it feels like we are getting some relief and making us feel better, this is not usually the case!

So why do we do it?

I believe that we criticize others to mask our own insecurities and fear that perhaps we’re not good enough. Criticism is like your reflection in water, it reflects back an image of how you feel about yourself.

Instead of owning these feelings you twist and contort yourself and try to avoid it by projecting your judgment onto someone else.

Deep down inside when you are criticizing someone else you are strengthening your own insecurity and inferiority. You are actually making yourself smaller. It becomes a vicious circle of denial and projection.

Being locked into these prejudicial thoughts impacts and influences everyone and everything around you.

Here’s what I know about judging other people:

1. It never really makes you feel better – you often feel worse afterwards.
2. It doesn’t make you more peaceful when you mind is full of judgments and criticism.
3. It doesn’t make your fear go away – it reinforces it at a deeper level.
4. Judgments can damage relationships.
5. It’s your ego talking and trying to protect you by setting you apart from others as better, bigger, more powerful.

Next time you feel tempted to judge someone else – catch yourself before you say anything and check in on your own feelings. Firstly, notice how uncomfortable you feel. What’s coming up for you? Envy? Shame? Guilt? Anger? These are all great and powerful teachers – listen and learn from them.

Making a conscious choice NOT to judge others will improve your  self-awareness, self-worth and self-respect.

This is also very peaceful.

5 Responses to “Stop Judging Other People!”

1. Jeanne says:

   July 26, 2012 at 2:03 pm

   My first response? The title is too long… Stop judging! Period! Judging is not our responsibility in the world. Not other people, not situations (they may not be what we think they are), and certainly not ourselves!
   Jeanne
2. Stacey says:

   July 26, 2012 at 2:47 pm

   LOL Jeanne,
   That’s pretty humorous if you step back and look at your comment…
3. Wendy says:

   July 26, 2012 at 2:50 pm

   Thanks Elaine. This can not be said enough. The more awareness and acceptance we have of ourselves, the more acceptance we have of others. Thanks for this great article.
4. Katie says:

   July 30, 2012 at 6:58 am

   I think that you cannot always change the opinions of people because their opinions are a result of their past life and experiences while our won perspectives are a result of what we have seen in life and choices made by us. But yes, we can definitely listen to and learn from the viewpoints that people share with us by seeing a different side of the coin. How we choose to react to certain situations in life influences our though process and we look at the world depending on that.
5. Herdis Pala says:

   August 12, 2012 at 11:15 pm

   Like this post – some say that when you are pointing your finger towards others, in a critisizing way, only one finger is pointed at the other person but three towards yourself!