~ Karen Casey, Author
We’ve all criticized someone else and while it feels like we are getting some relief and making us feel better, this is not usually the case!
So why do we do it?
I believe that we criticize others to mask our own insecurities and fear that perhaps we’re not good enough. Criticism is like your reflection in water, it reflects back an image of how you feel about yourself.
Instead of owning these feelings you twist and contort yourself and try to avoid it by projecting your judgment onto someone else.
Deep down inside when you are criticizing someone else you are strengthening your own insecurity and inferiority. You are actually making yourself smaller. It becomes a vicious circle of denial and projection.
Being locked into these prejudicial thoughts impacts and influences everyone and everything around you.
Here’s what I know about judging other people:
- It never really makes you feel better – you often feel worse afterwards.
- It doesn’t make you more peaceful when you mind is full of judgments and criticism.
- It doesn’t make your fear go away – it reinforces it at a deeper level.
- Judgments can damage relationships.
- It’s your ego talking and trying to protect you by setting you apart from others as better, bigger, more powerful.
Next time you feel tempted to judge someone else – catch yourself before you say anything and check in on your own feelings. Firstly, notice how uncomfortable you feel. What’s coming up for you? Envy? Shame? Guilt? Anger? These are all great and powerful teachers – listen and learn from them.
Making a conscious choice NOT to judge others will improve your self-awareness, self-worth and self-respect.
This is also very peaceful.