Category: Ritual

Getting Started!

By , November 20, 2010 6:50 pm

“Everyone who got to where they are had to begin where they were.”

Richard Paul Evans, Author

Several years ago Jenny wanted to be a coach. She’d taken her goal very seriously. She’d read loads of books, attended coaching workshops and successfully completed a Diploma in Coaching. She still wasn’t ready.

When I started to coach her she told me that she just needed to research things a little more before she was ready to be a successful coach.

Jenny wanted to start successful and be perfect before she became a coach. She was waiting for the perfect time to begin!

If you’re waiting for all the planets to align in your favour or for the right moment when you have reached perfection -you’ll be waiting a VERY long time!

Many of us have a dream or goal. We get clear and set our intention and then get overwhelmed or scared before we even begin the journey. We get bogged down in the detail and the journey doesn’t begin at all.

We know it in theory but never make that final leap into action.

The key to being a successful is simply to BEGIN…Just get started!

I started out as a trainer at Yorkshire Bank training people how to cashier. I was a lousy trainer to begin with. I read everything out loud from my manual and didn’t understand why people looked bored! That manual was my life line. I had tonnes to learn. I was terrified of doing it wrong! I quickly found a great mentor (who is still one of my best friends 22 years later!)

Here’s what I’ve learnt about getting started

1. Learn as you go – Most of my best learning experiences have been on-the-job actively coaching, training, or delivering a speech. The essentials of being an awesome coach can’t be learnt from a book. It’s learnt during each coaching session.

2. Fear is an over-rated excuse – Fear can stop you from beginning anything. You stay stuck and never move forward. If you’re frightened, recognise this and move forward despite it. A coach can help you act despite feeling uncomfortable.

3. Be Imperfectly Perfect – Feedback helps you knock off the rough edges and enables you to perfect your skill. It’s good to take imperfect action this is how you learn, grow and build confidence. Take a risk, try something different. Commit to continuous improvement – Because there isn’t a final destination point where you’re done!

4. Begin from wherever you are – Be willing to start now – Stop waiting! Begin action by taking small steps each day. Do what it takes and build momentum. Be persistent and hang in there despite any obstacles.

5. Only YOU can do it – You are personally responsible for creating YOUR life. Make things happen. Getting what you want involves using some ‘…ation’ words

  1. Inspiration – Being creative and having vision
  2. Destination – Defining clarity and intention
  3. Perspiration – Taking imperfect action every day. Just do it!
  4. Motivation – Re-aligning to your WHY to keep momentum
  5. Determination – Taking action when you don’t feel like it
  6. Realisation – Achieving success – Yay!
  7. Celebration – Recognise and enjoy your success along the journey!

As a good friend of mine says:

“Do it scared!”

…Get started today and have some FUN!

Get Aligned with YOUR Vision

By , November 6, 2010 6:21 pm

Imagination is everything. It is the preview of life’s coming attractions.”

Albert Einstein, Nobel Peace Prize Winner.

“Can you come coach me in my office? Something awful has just happened. I can’t believe I’ve been so stupid. I’m going to lose my job in two weeks time!”

As I walked to John’s office, I had no idea what had happened, but it sounded VERY serious.

I found him slumped in his chair, head in his hands, sweating and looking very uncomfortable. Normally he was an assertive (occasionally aggressive!) and passionate leader. He had just come off the phone with his CEO who had asked him to present his business strategy to the global board of directors in two weeks time.

So what was the problem?

John was recently promoted to a senior position in the company. He had delivered presentations to his team and peers many times.

He was scared of ‘formal’ presentations and had developed a limiting belief over several years. When I arrived at his office, he had already allowed his imagination to create vivid pictures, sounds and feelings of how badly his presentation would be received. They would question his ability as a senior executive. He would be seen as a fraud and lose his job. The following tape constantly re-played in his head:

As he was presenting the other executives glared at him in disbelief. He could hear them whispering ‘how did this guy get to this level without knowing how to present?!’ ‘He’s talking rubbish!’ He felt stupid, vulnerable and exposed.

John was visualizing his failure. The voices in his head were working overtime. He’d sub-consciously set his goal to lose his job in two weeks time!

Here’s the thing…

One of the most under used powerful tools that we have is our ability to visualize things in our mind. We’re often very good at visualizing the negative stuff and then creating our self fulfilling prophecy of doom.

You also have the ability to visualize success because it actives the creative powers of your sub-conscious mind. Seeing your goal already successfully completed.

Have you ever seen a car that you really liked and then found that you keep seeing that model everywhere?

Our mind doesn’t think linearly, it thinks in pictures.

Creating mental pictures of what you want really focuses your attention on your intention. It becomes real in our minds.

In the car example, what was happening was that the ‘want’ of this car activated your subconscious mind. Your mind filter or RAS (Reticular Activating System) opens up to notice the car that was previously unnoticed. Energy goes where attention flows – so the car is everywhere!

Visualization is a powerful tool because it enables you to see your intention (destination). It strengthens your focus and clarity on your end result. It attracts you towards the people and resources that you need to achieve your success.

I coached John to help him visualize success and build his confidence. He changed his intention from ‘I’m going to lose my job in two weeks time!’ to ‘This is the best presentation I’ve ever delivered.’

1.    Get clear on your vision – what do you want?

2.    Set aside some time EVERY DAY to visualize your goal already complete. 10 – 15 minutes a day is all you need. Create a ritual first thing in the morning or last thing at night before you turn off the light. Keep your vision of success on your radar.

3.    Intensify your visualization of success by adding sensations. Use the senses to bring it to life. What does it look like? What does it sound like? What does it feel like? What does it smell like? What does it taste like?

4.    Create a Vision Board – A Vision Board is a great visual tool to collect pictures of the things that you want to be, do or have. For example, a new car, a trip to the beach, a new home, a pet or a relationship, be healthy, lose weight etc… You glue each picture to a poster board and put them up somewhere you can see them daily. Through these pictures you get to enjoy your desires and bring them closer to you. It’s amazing how powerful this exercise can be. If you want to read more sign up for Christine Kane’s free guide in her Create Your Life Kick-Start There’s a box at the top right hand side of her blog!

Visualization really works!

It makes your brain achieve more. You can use this every day to improve your performance and make you more successful.

“Get aligned with your VISION and PULL your success to you!”

Christine Kane, Mentor to Women Who are Changing the World

Knowing When to STOP!

By , October 9, 2010 7:26 pm

“Just five more minutes..!”

Elaine J Bailey, Budding Author, aged 11.

At the age of eleven I’d already written four full sized novels. My ‘Auntie Mabel’ (who lived a few houses away) always took an interest in my writing and would ask me about the latest one. She’d then buy the only copy when it was finished.

I was so thrilled that I had a dedicated following! I’d write for her.

My dedication was such that when the letter ‘m’ fell off my typewriter (yes it was in the dark ages before computers!) I painstakingly wrote every ‘m’ in the book by hand!

I’d get lost in the flow of writing, stepping into the story and becoming all the characters as they were typed onto the page. I was no longer sitting at the dining room table. I was immersed in the story and didn’t want it to end. I was hooked!

‘It’s bed time now. You have to stop for today!’ …Brought me back to my dining room reality and every evening I’d begin my negotiations with my parents. I’d ask for ‘Just five more minutes,’ and try to extend my writing time as long as I could. Even though I was tired I WANTED to continue writing.

Fast forward to 2010…

As an entrepreneur and coach, I am still blessed with the same passion for writing I used to have as an eleven year old girl. Little Elaine still lives  in my head and shows up when I’m in the flow of something or if  I have loads of deadlines to meet. She pushes me hard to get things done.

Little Elaine is destructive because she doesn’t know when to stop. She takes over and before I know it the clocks are chiming midnight even though I have to be up at 5.30 am the following day!

The next morning I’m tired and I annoyed that I allowed Little Elaine to stay up late to have ‘Just five more minutes’ more!

Little Elaine doesn’t have a healthy approach to workloads, she creates an environment of busy-ness, overwhelm and burn-out.

Here’s how I make Little Elaine to bed when she shows up:

1. Are YOU Tired? Are YOU Hungry? – Listen to your body – it is VERY wise. My coach taught me this… Eating and sleeping are usually the first things to suffer when we are working long hours. We go without proper meals and the right amount of sleep. Our well-being is reduced to a low priority on that huge list of things we already have to do. We ignore the signals from our body as we drive on with more effort to get stuff done. In the short term this is usually okay, providing we allow a period of recovery time afterwards. But how often do we remember to do this? If it is sustained busy-ness will get a tighter grip because we are physically and mentally weaker. The perfect recipe for overwhelm and burnout.

2. Show Up, Start, and Stop! Don’t overdo it! – Become your own parent! This not about trying to get everything done today. Set yourself a start and finish time in your schedule and stick to it. If you can’t trust yourself to stop, set a timer and put it across the room, so you have to get up to turn it off. This breaks the circuit of sitting there and working. Otherwise you’ll get lost in the flow and not know when to stop.

3. Continue Tomorrow – It’s okay…really to set time to show up the next day to continue. Follow #2 to ensure that you don’t lose yourself in long hours of over working. Remember… You can ALWAYS carry on from where you left off. You will be much more productive after a break too!

        I still use this technique today when I’m locked into the workaholic tendency of ‘keep’ going and Little Elaine is trying to take me over to get it all done NOW!

        The Accountability Factor!

        By , September 18, 2010 4:22 pm

        “Ninety-nine percent of all failures come from people who have a habit of making excuses.”

        George Washington Carver, Chemist

        Learning is exciting!

        You might read a book, watch a video post or attend a course which inspires you to make some positive changes in your life or your business.

        You feel different, excited and determined that THIS time you’re going to step into your own power and make things happen.

        This time is different…You’re committed.

        You get clear on your purpose, decide what you want and set a goal.

        You might even break the goal down into do-able action-steps and feel ready to really make things happen.

        You start to make a little progress and…

        … Then life gets in the way!

        All the noise and distraction around you makes it difficult to remember to stay focused and take action every day. So you stall and drift back into those old habits and patterns. Your goal is relegated to your wish list and you become frustrated again.

        It’s hard to be accountable when there’s so much going on that distracts your attention and focus.

        It’s hard to do things alone especially when you’re trying to change old patterns and habits that no longer serve you.

        So why do it alone?

        A great way to continue momentum and accomplish more is to choose an accountability buddy.

        What is an accountability buddy?

        1. Someone you choose who is excited about you achieving your goal.
        2. They are willing to talk with you weekly (or every two weeks) either over the phone or on email.
        3. Someone who agrees to hold you accountable for meeting deadlines, taking action, making progress and accomplishing your goals.
        4. Someone who you commit to show up for and share your progress.
        5. An accountability buddy also acts as a sounding board. You can share your ideas and ask for feedback.
        6. They can celebrate your success.
        7. They provide energy and enthusiasm when yours is low and you feel stuck. They can help you think things through and share their experiences.
        8. They can ‘kick your ass’ (with love) and remind you about WHY you’re doing what you’re doing when you’re feeling distracted or making excuses.

        Being accountable and reporting back to someone really helps you to stay motivated and take some action.

        I recommend working with an accountability buddy to my coaching clients and delegates attending any of my training workshops because people are much more productive when they have set a do-able deadline and are held accountable to it.

        If I commit to an action with my accountability buddy (who is my coach!) and I know I’m going to be asked about it the next time we talk, I’ll make sure that I do it before that next call! I don’t want to let my coach (or myself) down.

        You may prefer to have an accountability buddy where you both share your goals and hold each other accountable. This can be a really effective partnership because you are helping each other.

        An accountability buddy makes you more determined to accomplish things. It’s a great way to ensure that you achieve more and keep momentum.

        Who’s your Accountability Buddy?!

        Are you committed or just interested?

        By , April 21, 2010 11:10 pm

        iStock_000009810666Small“There is a difference between interest and commitment. When you’re interested in doing something, you do it only when it is convenient. When you’re committed to something you accept no excuses, only results.”

        Ken Blanchard – Author

        So you’ve set yourself a clear goal or intention. For example, you have decided to improve your fitness level. So you set an intention to go to the gym twice a week.

        Things start off well and you get to the gym 2 times a week for the first two weeks. You’re making progress and then…

        Life gets in the way!

        You have to work longer hours or you’re too busy and too tired to exercise. Your actions become inconsistent and progress towards your goal stops.You get frustrated and wonder why achieving your goal is so hard to do.

        Here’s the thing…

        Once you have set a goal or intention then you have to make a 100% commitment to that outcome if you really want it to happen.Not 50% or 60% or 90%

        100% commitment or bust!

        Here’s what 100% commitment looks like:

        • If you are committed to your goal then there are no excuses, only results
        • You have discipline – It’s just part of your daily practice
        • It’s a done deal
        • You’ve made the decision – you’re committed to making it happen
        • You don’t have to think about it anymore. The decision has been made – you’re doing it
        • There is no debate in your head
        • Life is easier and you have focus
        • This is not negotiable
        • You observe the boundaries you’ve made to make this happen
        • You turn up every day despite obstacles and not feeling like it no matter what the circumstances

        Here’s what just being interested looks like:

        • You do it inconsistently – only when you remember or ‘feel like it’
        • You can find excuses NOT to do it
        • You wake up each morning fighting the voices in your head over whether to ‘do it’ today or ‘not’ or ‘I’ll start it tomorrow’
        • You make excuses during the day to justify your lack of commitment to this goal. “I haven’t got the time.” “It’s not my fault.” “I should have…” “I’m too tired.” “I deserve a day off.”
        • You make hesitant attempts to start but easily give up
        • You’re still fighting with the decision even though you’ve already made it
        • You (and the committee in your head) debates the topic over and over
        • You feel frustrated because you know what you should do, you just don’t do it!

        The truth is that if you’re only interested in your goal then realistically you’re not going to achieve it.

        Successful people really commit to their intentions. How much do you really WANT yours?

        It’s got to be 100% commitment!

        ©2010 by Elaine Bailey International Ltd
        (Registered Address: PO Box 250 88 Pavilion Way Meltham Holmfirth HD9 9BL; No: 7015168).
        All rights reserved.
        Website by WhizzLiz